Essential Tips to Remember When Visiting Your In-Laws: A Guide to Being a Good Daughter-in-Law

2019.07.14 published

Points to Consider When Visiting Your In-Laws＊

Many brides-to-be might be planning to visit their in-laws for New Year’s greetings, Golden Week, or Obon.

During these occasions, it’s important to make a good impression on his family, so they think, “You got a great bride,” and “She’s polite and kind.”

Here are some key points to keep in mind as a working adult and as a grown-up＊

Point 1: Bring a Gift

When visiting someone’s home, it’s common courtesy to bring a small gift, such as a box of sweets＊

A more expensive gift might make them feel uneasy, so a price range of around 3,000 to 4,000 yen is reasonable.

The best timing to present the gift is after greeting everyone and being shown into the room＊

Take it out of the paper bag and say something like, “This is just a little something,” or “This is a small token of my appreciation” when handing it over＊

If you have a casual relationship, you can say, “This is one of my favorites, and I hope you enjoy it” to leave a good impression＊

Also, your partner’s siblings or relatives might visit at the same time you do...!

It’s advisable to ask your partner about the situation beforehand and buy slightly more snacks than the number of people attending◎

➡ The "Ring Lace Cookies" sold on marry are cute and recommended!♡

Point 2: Neat Appearance

When visiting your in-laws, it’s important to pay attention to your clothing, makeup, and hairstyle＊

Many parents don’t pay a lot of attention to fashion, but

wearing clean clothes that aren’t too flashy or too dull creates a good impression＊

Specifically, classic choices like a dress or a cardigan with a flare skirt are highly recommended♩

Colors like white, beige, light blue, or navy are foolproof.

It’s also best to check that your shoes are clean and that your stockings aren’t torn, among other details.

Point 3: How to Remove and Arrange Shoes

One often-overlooked point is how to remove and arrange your shoes at the entrance＊

When taking off your shoes, it’s considered correct to do so facing the front while still at the entrance!

Be careful not to turn your back and bottom towards the room as that is seen as impolite＊

After removing your shoes, line them up toward the door, but do so while squatting down properly to arrange them◎

The area near the shoe cabinet is regarded as lower-ranked seating, so move your shoes toward the edge near the shoe box.

Point 4: How to Address Family Members

When conversing with your partner’s family, you might struggle with how to address everyone＊

“We’ve decided to marry, but we haven’t registered yet; is it okay to call them ‘dad’ and ‘mom’?”

“For his grandfather, I’m not sure; it feels too casual to call him by his first name; should I just say ‘grandpa’ or ‘grandfather’? I’m confused!”

It’s common to hear stories of brides feeling anxious about this.

The correct forms of address are as follows＊

- Your partner = Mr./Ms. ○○

- His father = Mr./Ms. ○○’s father (or just “father”)

- His mother = Mr./Ms. ○○’s mother (or just “mother”)

- His grandfather = Mr./Ms. ○○’s grandfather (or just “grandfather”)

- His grandmother = Mr./Ms. ○○’s grandmother (or just “grandmother”)

- Siblings older than him = Mr./Ms. ○○’s older brother/sister

- Siblings younger than him = Mr./Ms. ○○ (name)

You can adjust the honorifics like “sama” or “san” based on the situation◎

Enjoy Your Time at Your In-Laws♩

Because you will have a lifelong relationship with his family, it’s essential to visit your in-laws while maintaining the proper etiquette and showing thoughtful consideration.

May you enjoy a delightful family gathering together!