Don't Forget to Prepare Early! What Gifts and How to Give "Wedding Gift Returns" Without Being Rude?

What to Give as a "Return Gift" for Wedding Congratulations?

When you get married, you may receive "wedding gifts" from relatives, friends, and workplace colleagues.

There are likely many people who have thought, "I received a wedding gift from an unexpected person!" such as relatives or coworkers who were unable to attend the wedding.

It is a wonderful thing to be celebrated for such a personal event as marriage, regardless of the timing or the person.

Therefore, to express gratitude for those wonderful feelings, you should send a "thank you gift" or "uchiiwai" as a return gift for the wedding congratulations you received, and do so promptly.

This time, we will explain various aspects of "uchiiwai," including how to give it.

@nagisa_marry

About the Return Gift "Uchiiwai": How Much Should You Spend?

The first thing to consider when it comes to returning a wedding gift, or uchiiwai, is "How much should I spend on the return gift?"

The basic guideline for uchiiwai is to aim for "about half of the amount (or value) you received."

So, if you received a gift worth around 10,000 yen, aim for about 5,000 yen for the return gift. If you received a gift worth around 30,000 yen, aim for about 15,000 yen.

@nagisa_marry

If You Receive a High-Value Gift, Aim for One-Third

While the basic guideline for returning wedding gifts is half the value, there are exceptions.

For instance, if you receive a high-value gift (around 50,000 yen or more), returning half would mean a significant amount.

Typically, people who give high-value gifts are older relatives or superiors at work.

Therefore, when you receive a high-value gift, it is advisable to return something worth about one-third of the received amount (for example, if you received a gift worth 100,000 yen, return something worth about 30,000 to 40,000 yen).

(Some people may have a set policy that no matter how much they receive, "the return gift is 10,000 yen.")

If You Receive a Gift from Someone Below You, Return Approximately the Same Amount

If you receive wedding congratulations from juniors at work, such as a company’s junior colleague or subordinate, aim to return a gift worth about 80% to the same amount as what you received.

For example, if you received a wedding gift worth around 10,000 yen, you should return something worth around 8,000 to 10,000 yen.

You might think, "Isn’t returning the same amount a little strange?" but it’s important to appreciate the gesture from someone in a lower position and relieve them of any financial burden.

About the Return Gift "Uchiiwai": What Items Should You Give?

Once you have a rough idea of the amount for uchiiwai, the next question is, "What should I give?"

A popular option is a catalog gift. Although there might be a small extra cost due to handling fees, the recipient can choose what they like.

➡ Here is a list of catalog gift articles

Towels and tableware are also classic options for wedding return gifts. For a single male, consider bath towels or face towels; for couples of the same generation, a set of side plates is recommended. Choose items that match the recipient’s family structure.

➡ Here is a list of tableware articles

➡ Here is a list of towel articles

Food gifts, such as meat or fruit, are also well-received. Older individuals or families often have a full set of dishes or towels, making food items a more appreciated choice.

The cute-looking ring-shaped lace cookies sold by marry are also a delightful option.

➡ Here is the product page for ring lace cookies

Many people wonder, "Is it okay to give a gift card or product voucher for wedding return gifts?" and the answer is yes, but it might be seen as impolite when giving to someone of higher status.

Additionally, since gift cards or vouchers reveal the amount, it could be better to choose options like catalog gifts that allow for item selection.

About the Return Gift "Uchiiwai": What About the Wrapping?

There are also rules regarding the "noshi" for wedding return gifts, so let’s go over them.

For uchiiwai, choose a "10-string knot" for the water-drawing.

The 10-string knot symbolizes the idea "that both families hold hands tightly and do not let go."

The label should read "寿" or "内祝い" on the top,

and the name area below should follow one of these three patterns:

① Just your name

② Just your family name

③ New family name + your first name

If you tell the gift shop, "This is a wedding return gift," they will wrap it correctly, but it's good to memorize this just in case.

About the Return Gift "Uchiiwai": When and How Should You Give It?

The general etiquette for uchiiwai is to send it within "one month after the wedding ceremony (or after registering the marriage)." Therefore, regardless of the situation, be sure to send the gift within one month of either (or both) timelines.

However, if you received congratulatory gifts early, for instance, "there's still half a year until the ceremony," it is perfectly fine to give the return gift before the ceremony.

If you receive gifts early, it might be best to return them promptly so you don’t forget.

Regardless, as soon as you receive a gift, make sure to express your gratitude directly or by phone.

Moreover, while it is generally preferred to deliver uchiiwai in person, it is also acceptable to mail it if necessary.

In this case, make sure to thank them in advance and inform them that you will be sending it by mail.

@nagisa_marry

Be Sure to Follow the Etiquette and Send Your Thanks Properly

We have introduced the return gift "uchiiwai" for wedding congratulations.

It would be quite rude if you received wedding congratulations but didn’t send a return gift or didn’t follow the proper etiquette.

Be sure to follow the etiquette and express your gratitude for receiving wedding congratulations.

May you build good relationships even after you get married!

➡ Here is a list of uchiiwai articles