"Minimizing Conflicts: A Comprehensive List of Common Disagreements with the Groom During Wedding Planning"

2018.05.05 published

Wedding Preparations Are Tense with Him...!!!

Everyone, is your wedding preparation going smoothly?

Ideally, wedding preparations should be fun and exciting.

However, as the preparations progress, it's common to hear stories of couples arguing or getting into disagreements because they can't agree with each other, or conversely, because he doesn’t voice his opinions.

Since wedding preparations are a first-time experience for everyone, it's understandable that they might not go smoothly.

That's why, as newlyweds, we want to tackle challenges together no matter when they arise.

We wish to avoid arguments and disputes as much as possible.

So this time, we will introduce some typical "disagreements between the bride and groom" that might occur during wedding preparations.

Let’s be mindful that these situations may arise and prepare ourselves in advance.

《Potential Disagreements with Him During Wedding Preparations》

☑ He doesn’t align his schedule for meetings

☑ He doesn’t voice his opinions (about paper items, dresses, etc.)

☑ He says anything is fine (not understanding the differences)

☑ Yet, he expresses dislike for both options (completely disregarding the bride's feelings)

☑ He takes his parents' opinions at face value (not being an ally to the bride)

☑ Delayed wedding announcement, uncertain if it’s even happening

☑ He doesn’t communicate the addresses for invitations

☑ No contact from his friends (have they not reached out?)

☑ The usual flow of things isn't followed (e.g., “Friend XX will surely come so it’s okay not to reply”)

☑ He doesn’t help with wedding preparations

☑ He doesn’t help with preparations but still shares opinions

☑ He brings up issues regarding decisions made afterwards

☑ He doesn’t think about finances at all

☑ He suggests “this and that is fine” while you want to save money (not thinking about the future)

☑ He dismisses your desires by saying it's a “waste of money”

☑ He doesn’t meet deadlines for requested tasks

☑ There are differing priorities (bride prioritizes food, groom prioritizes decor, etc.)

☑ Disagreement about whether to have a second party (bride wants it, groom doesn’t)

☑ He comes home late to avoid helping with preparations

☑ He plays games while wedding preparations are ongoing

☑ Communication with entertainment and second party organizers isn’t going well (he doesn’t cooperate)

☑ He makes changes to decisions previously agreed upon (e.g., wanting to change the tuxedo two weeks before the wedding)

During wedding preparations, so many different issues can arise. It’s quite common for couples who usually never argue to find themselves quarreling during this process.

So, how can we avoid these kinds of fights and disputes? Here are two important solutions＊

Solution ① Talk Slowly and Thoroughly with Him

A common cause of arguments during wedding preparations seems to be a lack of “discussion.”

While brides have done extensive research and come to conclusions like “I feel this way!” or “I want this!”, grooms often haven’t done much research.

So, when they only hear the conclusions, they are often left confused, and their responses seem off-target to the bride.

If adequate discussions and information sharing aren’t taking place, misunderstandings can arise, leading to “not voicing an opinion,” “disagreeing,” or “not considering anything.”

Therefore, to avoid arguments, it’s best to communicate clearly with him about “This is how things are in the world,” “This is how I feel,” and “I want to do it this way for this reason.”

If both of you can communicate effectively, misunderstandings should be less likely to lead to quarrels.◎

Solution ② Keep Your Preferences to Yourself

During wedding preparations, it's common to feel frustrated such as “He doesn’t help with DIY!” or “He doesn’t share his opinion!”

This often arises from a bride’s strong preferences.

If there are no strong preferences, there's no need to resort to handmade items or get lost in choices during wedding preparations.

After all, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime ceremony, so it’s natural to want to pay attention to detail and enhance it with beautiful items and wonderful presentations!

However, sharing those unique preferences with the groom can be quite a challenge.

Generally, men and women have very different motivations when it comes to weddings. Thus, it often helps to adjust expectations, recognizing that it may not be realistic to expect the groom to have the same level of preference, opinion, knowledge, or judgment.

Often, you might hear brides complain that “He says he can’t tell which dress is better, but they all look the same!” It’s similar to someone completely uninterested in golf being asked, “Which 5-iron is better?” (Do you understand?)

If you don’t know which is better (when both look the same) and say either is fine, how would you feel if he gave you a hard time for “not seriously thinking about it and offering an opinion”?

It’s smoother to keep your preferences largely to yourself.

Fights Can Be Memories. However, I Hope to Have a Fun Wedding Preparations Period＊

It’s common for couples to disagree during wedding preparations and quarrel.

Quarreling is not always a bad thing; it might be one of the first tests for two people about to embark on a new life together, and years from now, you might reminisce and laugh about how you argued over trivial things during preparations.

But!

Of course, excessive arguments and disputes can be disheartening, and it would be a shame to let precious time spent on wedding preparations be consumed by fights.

By preparing yourself in advance for possible disagreements and keeping in mind the two solutions:

① Talk slowly and thoroughly

② Keep preferences to yourself

I hope all the future brides can avoid quarreling as much as possible and enjoy a fun wedding preparations period together♡