"One in Two: Understanding the Struggles and Anxieties of 'Marriage Blues'!"

2020.08.26 published

Did you experience wedding blues?

Marriage is a significant life event for women.

Leaving the family that raised and nurtured you, and moving to another household brings various new experiences.

While it is a joyous occasion to celebrate, on the other hand, facing such a big decision can lead many soon-to-be brides to feel anxious, wondering, "Is it really okay to continue with this?"

It's very painful to be told congratulations by everyone but not be able to say thank you sincerely...

How many people experience wedding blues, and what common concerns do they have?

We conducted a survey!

[Survey Results]

More than half of the respondents seem to have experienced wedding blues.

What kind of worries did they feel?

And how did they overcome them?

Are they happy now?

Here are some personal experiences＊

Experience with Wedding Blues 1

I loved him very much, but as the dates for the proposal, face-to-face meeting, and registration drew near, I felt a sense of urgency and anxiety about whether it was okay to marry him.

When I consulted my mother, she said, "If it doesn’t work out, you can always come back. It’s a time when you can choose whether to marry or not, so I think it's fine either way. But if you have a chance to get married, you should give it a try because marriage is a wonderful thing." Hearing that lightened my heart a bit.

Before I knew it, I had completed the registration and it became a part of my daily life to be a family with him. Looking back now, I think that was my wedding blues.

Experience with Wedding Blues 2

For me, it was financial issues.

Since we started dating, my husband had a habit of not being able to "hold back," and he would borrow money through cash advances to buy what he wanted😠（笑）

I can't even remember how many times I said, "If you borrow money and buy something without me knowing, we're done!"

When we have children in the future or if either of us gets sick, I realized we can’t do anything if we don’t have money, so I really struggled with the idea of getting married and continuing our relationship.

My family and people around me opposed it, and I even considered breaking up（笑）

However, even though I knew that being with him would bring challenges, my feelings of love were simply too strong, and no matter what anyone said, I didn’t want to break up, so we got married! (laugh)

There are some discrepancies in our financial senses, but I made him cancel all his cash advance cards, and he doesn’t have any credit cards（笑）

I can’t deny that it's said I don’t trust him, but he seems to have reflected on it, so I guess it’s not that big of a deal😂

Even if we end up getting divorced and I become a divorcee, that’s also an experience. I’m living happily without overthinking it or being dependent on him♡

Experience with Wedding Blues 3

I really love him and I think I’m so glad to be able to get married!

However, I worried about whether I'd be able to balance work and housework, whether we could divide household chores, and if I would be able to have children.

I realized that just thinking about it wouldn’t solve anything… When I consulted my sister, she told me that I have to communicate my thoughts for them to be understood, so I started sharing how I felt with my husband.

While sometimes it doesn’t feel like the burden of housework has decreased, I make sure to communicate with him whenever it comes up.

Occasionally, we do have arguments, but we manage to stay close(^^)

Experience with Wedding Blues 4

I’ve been venting a lot on Instagram!

Preparing for marriage isn’t just about happy moments, so I leave my posts up instead of deleting them😌

Whether or not I solve my issues is secondary; just having someone read it has lightened my feelings😌

When someone commented, I felt even happier!

Experience with Wedding Blues 5

Even though I really, really love him (I know this sounds odd... laugh), thinking about spending my entire life with just this one piece of paper made me anxious😅

But I realized that when I go to bed at night, the person I want to be next to is him.

Experience with Wedding Blues 6

I’m not sure if this counts as wedding blues(^_^;)

I didn’t have significant complaints or anxieties about him, but…

I had been living a free lifestyle until now, working a lot…

I worried that I wouldn’t be able to do what I love or that I’d have to significantly limit what I want to do.

I had a big anxiety about whether I could manage everything.

Now, we fight and bump heads a lot, but he’s very generous and kind, so I feel happy I married him (* ॑꒳ ॑*)

Experience with Wedding Blues 7

After changing workplaces due to the marriage registration, I felt like I lost my previous self...

But over time, this feeling went away (；＿；)

Experience with Wedding Blues 8

Both of us experienced wedding blues, and on the morning we planned to submit our marriage registration, we paused to discuss whether it was the right time...

In the end, around 11 PM that night, we were both crying while filling out the marriage registration form (laugh). Once it was submitted, we found happiness in our daily lives.

Experience with Wedding Blues 9

As the wedding approached, I started viewing married supervisors differently! (laugh)

When I talked to friends about it, they all told me, "Everyone experiences wedding blues."

I got so busy preparing for the wedding that I eventually forgot about feeling anxious! (laugh)

Experience with Wedding Blues 10

It wasn’t that I really doubted whether I should get married, but...

I was overwhelmed by the paperwork needed for registration and the costs associated with the wedding, and I became demotivated about everything!

During that time, I expressed my feelings to my husband, and he responded, "You don’t have to do anything! You’re fine!"

As I started to not think about it and just relax, I began to enjoy things more🌟

However, my worries haven’t ended. In the midst of it all, I try to talk honestly with my husband to express my feelings.

Experience with Wedding Blues 11

Although I had some anxiety, after having our wedding, I love him more than I ever have before!!

Experience with Wedding Blues 12

It had been about three years since we registered, but I experienced wedding blues.

About one or two months before the wedding, I became very irritable and ended up taking it out on my husband. I wondered if it was because I was busy with preparations, if it was premenstrual, or if I was just short-tempered. After searching online, I confirmed for myself that I was experiencing wedding blues (laugh).

Even though quite some time had passed since our registration, I was surprised that I felt this way.

However, learning the cause made me feel a bit relieved, and I reported to my husband, "I think I’m experiencing wedding blues," which made me feel a lot better.

Now that the wedding is over, we are getting along without any outbursts or arguments (laugh).

Experience with Wedding Blues 13

I experienced wedding blues🙋

I have been dating for about three and a half years and have never disliked him; I've always loved him!!

I thought I would never experience wedding blues, but once the preparations for the wedding began and there were so many decisions to make 😂.

I kept asking him what he liked from various options, and while it was good at first, I started to wonder, "What would he have done if I hadn’t brought this up?”😥

I began to think, "Does he even want to get married?"🤔💭

But then I realized thinking about it wouldn’t resolve anything, so I shared my thoughts with him!!

He said he had thought I was enjoying the preparations, so he suggested we prepare together😊.

Since it was such a long time of wedding preparations, he suggested we have a normal date like we used to before the preparations started, and we had an outing to change our mood🙋.

I firmly believe that thinking alone won't solve anything, so I expressed my true feelings and what I was struggling with regarding the wedding🙋.

I reaffirmed how important communication is💕.

Experience with Wedding Blues 14

Just before registration, I suddenly felt anxious about finances and wondered if it was really okay to marry him.

We had some serious discussions and even fought many times, and I felt like giving up, but in the end, I realized I could make it work with him, which allowed for a smooth registration!

Experience with Wedding Blues 15

I consulted my mom and asked if she had ever felt this way.

I felt uneasy, and I didn’t know why...

Not being able to discern the source of my anxiety was frustrating, and I found myself crying on the phone with my mom.

My mom said, "If you feel that with this person, you can overcome any difficulties, then there’s nothing to worry about."

That reminded me that I truly wanted to marry him☺.

Experience with Wedding Blues 16

I experienced it.

However, considering that we are two people with different genders, environments, personalities, and perspectives coming together, it’s impossible for everything to go smoothly from the start!

I felt a bit more at ease thinking we could develop our shared values step by step together.

Experience with Wedding Blues 17

I felt the parents of my partner showed an unfriendly attitude towards my parents, and the relationship between the two families wasn't great.

Yet, my husband didn’t take any action, and I started to feel anxious about whether he was the right person for me.

But I believe it’s essential to express and discuss any worries or concerns rather than hiding them☺️.

After all, if you suppress it, you can't endure it for a lifetime!

Experience with Wedding Blues 18

I’m a bride whose wedding is tomorrow♡ I registered in November.

Until I got married, I had never left my parents' house.

While I’m thrilled to become the wife of the man I love, I’m incredibly anxious about whether I can manage all the household tasks that I’ve never done before and if I will ever become a parent.

After moving, I would secretly cry in my room every day...

After moving in, I would cry quietly next to him while he slept (Looking back, I should have expressed my feelings of loneliness and anxiety to my parents and him more openly).

However, once I began living with him, I found immense joy in that♡

The busy schedule of balancing work, housework, and wedding preparations quickly left no time to feel lonely! (laugh)

Experience with Wedding Blues 19

My fiancé is a hairstylist and a store manager, but he has a low salary.

Nevertheless, I adore his personality and looks and want to spend my life with him, yet I'm worried about living expenses...

Experience with Wedding Blues 20

It was genuinely lonely for me to leave my hometown to marry him, and I felt sad thinking I would never live there again.

I even pondered whether it would be better to find someone else in my hometown instead of him😭😭😭.

Experience with Wedding Blues 21

Although nothing is set yet, my fiancé recently changed jobs and now we are in a long-distance relationship.

We've decided to aim for a one-year distance, and we plan to visit each other's parents next year.

However, I don’t want to leave Fukuoka, my hometown, while he wants me to move to Osaka.

I truly love him, but I'm really torn.

Experience with Wedding Blues 22

After watching the balloon prank video of Peko & Ryucheru and laughing out loud, I forgot everything and freed myself from wedding blues (laugh).

Happiness is something you create yourself♡

We introduced the experiences of wedding blues collected by marry＊

Ranging from relatable insights to heartwarming content, it presents a variety of experiences.

Marriage is a big choice in life and a crossroads.

As I think about living as a "family" with him from now on, worries and conflicts may arise, but

I want to always strive to Feel the maximum happiness at each moment and to think, "This was the right choice♡."

May you overcome wedding blues and live happily every day♡