"Bad Days on Weekends Are Quite Common! What Do You Think About Weddings on 'Butsumetsu'? Should We Worry About Good Luck?"

2020.01.16 published

【Wedding Dates】What About a Wedding on a "Butsumetsu" Day?

Weddings are best held on "Tai-an" days.

"Butsumetsu" (仏滅) is considered to be bad luck, so it is recommended to avoid it.

However, there may be times when the only available date is on a Butsumetsu day, or when your anniversary falls on Butsumetsu, making it a candidate for your wedding date.

In the first place, there are only about one or two days that are "Tai-an" on weekends each month...!

How do you feel about "Butsumetsu"? Do you care about it or not??

We conducted a survey!

Here are the survey results!!

There were slightly more people who "don't care," but it was nearly fifty-fifty.

Let's take a look at the opinions of brides-to-be and brides who have already tied the knot.

Response 1

I had my ceremony on Butsumetsu. I did check with my parents if it was okay, but if your parents and those around you are the type who don't mind, then I think it's fine!

In fact, we got a large discount and were able to save a lot.

Also, for us, there was only a little over six months until the ceremony, but because it was Butsumetsu, we found availability even in the nice dates of the autumn long weekend✨

No friends pointed out that it was Butsumetsu, so I think younger people don't care at all.

If your parents or relatives are strict about traditions, it might be better to refrain, but it might be good to consult with them once.

Response 2

We had a Butsumetsu wedding, but we didn't mind at all.

The price was a bit lower, and it was a day that was available in the month we hoped for.

After the ceremony, I realized that as long as the weather is good and we can have fun with our guests, that's all that matters!

Response 3

I had my ceremony on Butsumetsu, and the date discount saved us 560,000 yen♪

Relatives and guests said the date was more important than the day itself.

Response 4

We decided on a venue later than expected, and the only available dates in our desired timeframe were Butsumetsu.

I’m the type of person who doesn’t really care about such matters (laughs), but since we were inviting relatives and colleagues, I was somewhat concerned, and when I researched, I found a description that Butsumetsu means "to be reborn and start anew."

So I thought, "Well, that's not a problem at all! Plus, there are plenty of discounts!" and ended up having a Butsumetsu ceremony ◎ (laughs)

The weather on the day was great, we were able to achieve our ideal garden ceremony, and it turned out to be a truly amazing day for our guests.

As long as you don’t get caught up in old-fashioned thoughts and view the meaning of Butsumetsu positively, you can have a wonderful and budget-friendly wedding!

What’s important on the day is not the Rokuyo calendar but how much fun the guests can have!

Response 5

I had my wedding on Butsumetsu!

Since our anniversary coincided with a Saturday, we decided to go with that day!

I hesitated a bit upon hearing "Butsumetsu," but once I heard there were discounts, I made a quick decision (laughs).

My husband’s brother’s wedding was also on Butsumetsu, so we quickly got the approval of his parents, but my father was quite concerned.

However, once I conveyed that while Rokuyo might be important, it’s our ceremony and we want to commemorate it on a special day for us, he said, "Then go ahead and have it on the day you like!"

The superiors who attended the ceremony also said, "I didn't even notice it was Butsumetsu! In the past, people used to say it was bad luck, but if you two are happy, that's all that matters!" I was relieved to hear that!

Response 6

We had a Butsumetsu wedding and the venue cost was significantly lower. Since we didn’t mind, it was really appreciated.

The venue representatives told us that even if it’s Butsumetsu, it's okay if it’s in the afternoon, and since it was a church, it’s not "Butsu" but "Kami," so please explain that to your relatives✨

Response 7

I had no choice but to have my wedding on Butsumetsu. I contemplated it, but I registered on a Tai-an day to convince my parents! (laughs)

Response 8

We chose a Tai-an day♩ Of course, if it's just about the two of us, we could have settled for a cheaper day, but since some of the guests may be conscious of Butsumetsu and because of parental expectations, we went with a Tai-an day.

Response 9

We didn't have a wedding, but we had two children, and since both the bride and groom come from single-parent families, we wanted to do it as cheaply as possible. My mother and grandmother also said they didn't care, so we went with Butsumetsu!

Response 10

With a Butsumetsu plan, you can save money.

For me, even though it’s Butsumetsu, it’s on Tanabata, which is a day with good connotations, so I felt it balanced out 🎋

Response 11

I had my wedding on Butsumetsu✩

I got more discounts than on other days, so we were able to do a lot more things that we wanted to♡

As long as your parents or relatives don’t mind Butsumetsu, I think it’s fine to go with it✩

Response 12

I’m not a Buddhist, so I'm planning to have my ceremony on Butsumetsu!

My registration date is a Tai-an day, and the ceremony is Christian, plus my parents don’t mind, so I thought it doesn’t matter and chose Butsumetsu because it’s cheaper!

The venue we planned to have our wedding at offered a discount of 500,000 yen for Butsumetsu😳✨✨

Response 13

I had my ceremony on Butsumetsu!

Some friends pointed out, "That’s Butsumetsu," but I thought, "So what?"

Then my grandmother said, "Butsumetsu isn’t a bad day after all."

She brought an old book and explained that Butsumetsu is a good omen! (I don't quite remember the details...)

Plus, it is said that Butsumetsu in the afternoon is like a Tai-an day!!

So I don't think it's a bad day at all!

If you have a beautiful wedding that no one remembers (or cares) it’s Butsumetsu, that’s all you need!!

Besides, just because it’s Butsumetsu doesn't mean it’s bad luck, and my husband and I aren’t that superficial in our love! (laughs)

Response 14

The only available date for my desired venue was Butsumetsu 😭

I checked with both my parents and my fiancé’s parents, and since neither of us seemed to care, we decided to go ahead with a Butsumetsu wedding 😊

Conversely, the perks and discounts we got because it was Butsumetsu were nice, so that was good💕

Since the calendar changes every year, a date doesn't always fall on Butsumetsu, which is one reason I wasn't particularly concerned 😊

Response 15

I personally don’t mind, but I think about the guests who might care and tend to avoid it…💦

Response 16

It was a Butsumetsu wedding, but the weather was excellent, and it was the best day!!

Response 17

I had my wedding on Butsumetsu!

Of course, part of the reason was that it was cheaper… (laughs)

According to the venue staff, someone once intentionally chose Butsumetsu, and when they asked for the reason, they said, "If our Butsumetsu wedding is the best day ever, then even better days will follow."

I think it’s all about getting the consent of relatives!

Response 18

From the guest's perspective, they prefer a Butsumetsu Saturday wedding to a Tai-an Sunday wedding.

Response 19

I had my wedding on Butsumetsu ^ ^ because Rokuyo is only a thing in Japan 😂 I don’t care!

Response 20

Both our families, including grandparents, were scheduled to attend.

It seems that for older guests, Butsumetsu is something they are concerned about, so we also felt uneasy and decided to avoid it.

However, since many guests have weekends off, finding a good date on a Tai-an or Tomobiki Saturday was quite challenging, so we ended up having the ceremony on a Akiguchi day, starting at 12:50 PM.

Response 21

To save money, I’ll be having the ceremony on a weekday with a campaign that waives the venue fee!

Butsumetsu was something the venue staff avoided, after all!

I wonder if very popular wedding venues even hold Butsumetsu weddings?

Response 22

I think it’s fine as long as relatives don’t oppose! Explaining that it’s our anniversary should suffice.

Ultimately, it’s about choosing a date that we both feel good about and doesn’t leave a bad impression on our relatives! ✨

Response 23

I had a Butsumetsu wedding! 🤣👏

It was cheaper on Butsumetsu, and since it ranks lowest, it symbolized that "we can only go up from here."

That's why I went with it! 🤩

Response 24

I do care about Butsumetsu for my own wedding (or more accurately, my parents think that while we don't mind, it would be inappropriate for the older generation to have concerns, so they suggested we avoid it as much as possible).

However, as a guest, I don’t mind at all! ✨

Response 25

Recently, I attended a friend's wedding on Butsumetsu, and their performance was extravagant with dessert buffets and prizes, making me realize they had put a lot of thought into creating a joyful wedding for the guests, and it didn't feel cheap at all.

Ultimately, I think the main reason people are concerned about Butsumetsu is how the guests will perceive it, but what matters more is the level of hospitality... 😂

If it's an anniversary, how about highlighting that today is a special day at key moments? ☺️💕

Response 26

I don’t mind, but my parents do. I think I could have saved quite a bit if I could have held the ceremony on Butsumetsu.

Response 27

I had my wedding on Butsumetsu, but because there tend to be fewer weddings held on that day, I was treated especially well, and it ended up being a two-for-one deal with a slight cost reduction (*´꒳`*)♡

Response 28

I avoided Butsumetsu! Although the price was significantly lower, I didn't want my parents to be said to be unreasonable since it's not just about the two of us getting married.

Response 29

I was concerned that the wedding date would fall on Butsumetsu, but when the planner mentioned that "the afternoon of Butsumetsu moves towards Tai-an,” I decided on that day✨

What do you value the most? Let's decide together＊

Above are the opinions of 29 people who sent DMs to marry's Instagram＊

"I don't care about Rokuyo."

but also,

"I don’t want to be seen as unreasonable."

I think both are important values.

It would be nice to solidly hold your own axis and welcome a wonderful wedding♩

➡︎ Check out marry's Instagram for wedding concerns and solutions!