"Even Though I Didn't Want to, the Groom Spontaneously Made the Request... Should the Groom's Side and Bride's Side Match on Performances?"

2019.10.13 published

Should you match whether or not you have performances???

This is a corner where we answer the worries sent via DM to marry's Instagram from brides-to-be!

We will pose the concerns to our followers who are brides and share everyone's experiences ♩

This time's concern is as follows!

<<Content>>

I'm in my 30s, and I wasn't planning to have performances.

It would be a burden on my friends...

That was the understanding we originally had with my fiancé, but the other day, he came back from hanging out with some friends with one comment.

"I was told they want to do a performance, so I asked them!"

Oh no!! (:_;)

I don't want to ask for a performance, but do you think it's okay if the groom's side and the bride's side don't match on whether to have performances or not...?

I took a survey!

I got responses from over 130,000 followers of marry's Instagram, and here are the results.

34% of people believe in matching performances between the groom's side and the bride's side.

The majority, 66%, do not believe in matching.

Two-thirds of those who responded said they would not match.

Here are individual experiences shared with us via DM＊

Response 1

Among the groom's friends, there was a custom of everyone performing at each other's weddings in turn.

So only the groom's side performed 😊

Response 2

We did not match.

The groom's side asked for performances, while the bride's side requested friend speeches!

By having one from each side, I think it balanced well!

Response 3

We did not match performances between the groom and bride.

The groom wanted to do one and asked his colleagues.

However, since I moved far away, I didn't want to put a burden on friends coming from afar, and

I believed that weddings are for showing gratitude to those around us, so asking for something and getting them to do something for me felt off.

However, on the day, what began as "a congratulatory video from the groom's colleague"

turned out to be a surprise from him to me! A congratulatory video from my friends.

Response 4

It has become the norm for performances to be done at my husband's workplace, so it naturally happened 😱

However, I didn't want to burden my friends, so I consulted with the planner considering that thought,

and the husband had a performance while I asked one friend to read a letter. 🙋

After hearing that, I had one friend I wanted to read a letter, so I conveyed it to her as a form of consultation, and she gladly accepted it 💕

On the day, my husband did a performance while I had my friend read the letter, which was great! 😍

I hope this helps a little...

Response 5

I did a performance when asked, and it was very hard and unpleasant, so if you don't want to, I think it’s fine not to do it.

Having performances on one side may allow for more time to chat with guests at tables and could be more enjoyable!

Rather than matching performances you don’t want to do...

I would be happy if this helps!

Response 6

We didn't have friends available to ask for performances on the groom’s side,

and since all our friends live in different places, it was hard to plan.

So, we decided that only the bride's side would do a performance!

I was initially worried if it would be strange to have only one side, but

learning that there are many people in the same situation made me not worry. ☺️💓

In reality, there were no comments from parents or relatives about the groom's side's performance, and

I think it's perfectly fine to have only one side!

Response 7

We are a couple in our late 20s.

My guests included friends who are married with children and single friends who have busy jobs, so I thought it would be rude to get everyone together to prepare and practice,

so I chose not to ask for performances.

My husband's guests were invited in small groups of 2 or 3, so

we also decided not to ask for performances.

We prioritized letting guests relax, and it was great not to have friend performances!

Response 8

We coincidentally had people on both sides willing to do performances, so we matched, but

I think it’s okay not to force a match.

There have been times I attended as a guest where only one side performed, and I felt no discomfort at all!

Response 9

We matched!

My husband's colleagues and my high school friends performed!

The groom’s side volunteered, while I asked my side.

The guest ratio was work:friends:relatives 2:3:5, but everyone seemed to enjoy both performances!

Since it was a wedding of high school classmates, the fact that friends were involved was very well received!

The groom’s side performed something funny, but the preparations didn’t go perfectly, and we had a lot of support from the planner 💦

My side had a performance from my high school brass band, and I got involved to surprise my husband!

I had a pretty good idea of my side's performance, so I was at ease, but

the groom's friends' performance was genuinely a surprise, so I was quite anxious not knowing the details (laugh)

But that’s a good memory (laugh)

Response 10

I’m in the "not asking" camp!!

We wanted to express our gratitude to those who have always supported us! We wanted all guests to enjoy themselves!

So we did not ask for performances from our guests.

Instead, we are planning various things ourselves ( ´ ▽ ` ) We focused on gift planning, performances, and food♡

Response 11

We both decided against requesting performances.

We wanted to avoid putting a burden on our friends, so we performed music ourselves 🎶

It was more exciting than expected, and our relatives were happy 😊

Response 12

We prioritized time to talk with everyone and take photos, so we decided that both sides would not have performances at the reception.

However, it seems that the groom's side will have a performance at the after-party 😊

The bride's side will just enjoy 💓

Response 13

Neither of us asked for performances.

We both felt it would be rude to ask our friends for favors, and

there would be complications in terms of gratitude and coordinating with the venue… (sorry for saying 💦)

For these reasons, we did not request performances from either side and had my husband perform something related to his profession (laugh)

The MC and planner fully cooperated!

I didn’t do anything!

I think there are various circumstances, so I believe it’s okay not to match!

Response 14

Only the bride's side performed!

Since I, the bride, had danced, I performed together with my members (*^^*)

The groom's side did not have a performance, but requested a speech from a friend!

Response 15

We didn’t ask friends to do performances to avoid burdening each other!

We aimed for "a wedding where everyone who came can enjoy," so we actually organized mystery-solving games and quizzes about dress colors to take up some time ^^

Response 16

I'm someone who will be having a wedding party soon.

Only my husband's side will have performances.

We plan to invite three professional artists who are friends of my husband.

Summary＊

① There is no trend that you must match whether to have performances or not.

② If you are matching on having or not having performances, many couples are opting for "not having."

③ The bride's side often reads "letters from friends" instead of performances.

④ Weddings without performances are absolutely fine.

These were the four main opinions shared! 💕

I hope this helps brides-to-be who are worried! 💕