In 2021, 31% of Households: Supporting My Husband, but... Anxiety About Becoming a Full-Time Housewife After Marriage.

2018.08.15 published

A Story from Someone Who Became a Full-Time Housewife After Marriage＊

Hello, I’m Haruno Tsuzaki from marry＊

At marry, we accept相談 questions through DMs on Instagram, and we have a project where we publicly share the received consultations with our followers and allow them to respond anonymously＊

➡ Here’s marry’s Instagram

➡ Check out previous consultation articles here＊

This time’s consultation is as follows.

＜＜Consultation Content＞＞

I plan to become a full-time housewife at the request of my husband after marriage.

However, I have always loved my job (it’s a company I worked hard to get into and love deeply),

so I feel really sad about quitting my job.

I’m also anxious about what everyday life will be like without working.

Since becoming a full-time housewife is already decided, I intend to support my husband and do my best.

But I still feel lonely about quitting my job, and I’m currently only filled with worries about what the long life ahead will look like.

For those who became full-time housewives after marriage, I would like to know how you overcame this sense of loss.

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Here are everyone’s responses＊

Experience 1

I also quit my job to support my husband’s work.

The first month after quitting was filled with tears due to a sense of loss, but once I started planning the wedding,

I began to think of it as my own job, and the feeling of loss disappeared.

It may be tough right after quitting, but I think if you find something else to focus your energy on, it will be okay 😊

Experience 2

I’m currently struggling with the same issue, so it was comforting to know there are other brides who share the same concerns 😢

I have not yet completed the resignation process, and I’m still feeling unsettled, but

I think what’s important now is to get used to the new environment and adapt to living with him, so I’m trying to shift my mindset towards that 😭✨

Being kind to both him and myself is the current theme!

Experience 3

I also retired at the end of the fiscal year.

While I was working, I didn’t have time to do DIY projects, so I took the opportunity to create DIY items like welcome boards!

Now, DIY has become like a job for me, and preparing for the ceremony is progressing joyfully!

I’m surprised how quickly the day flies by while I do housework and DIY!

Experience 4

This might be off-topic, but

I’m sending a DM because I have experienced not being able to overcome the sense of loss.

I didn’t become a full-time housewife per se after marriage, but I changed from sales to temporary office work to focus on housework.

To be honest, this choice was a failure, and I couldn’t overcome my sadness, leading to health issues, haha.

I later transitioned back to sales.

While there may be preferences from him, it’s your life, so you should do what you want.

The environment you’ve cultivated so far will never return.

Experience 5

In my case, my husband hoped for a full-time housewife, but

I loved my job, so I continued working until I went on maternity leave late in my pregnancy.

After spending 4 months as a full-time housewife before childbirth and 3 months after, I realized that I didn’t just like my job;

I also enjoyed interacting with people in society, so I honestly conveyed that to my husband,

and now I’ve returned to work, becoming what’s called a working mom.

I’ve come to think that there are suited and unsuited for being a full-time housewife.

I feel that by discussing and creating a situation with as little dissatisfaction as possible for both parties,

we can maintain that lifestyle stably over the long term ( ˊᵕˋ )♡

Experience 6

I also quit my job upon getting married, but

I needed to save money for future expenses, such as when we have children or in the case of accidents;

ultimately, everything comes down to money, so I started working part-time.

Staying at home as a full-time housewife felt boring due to having too much alone time, and I thought I found more fulfillment when I was working,

which is why I started part-time work.

For someone who loves alone time, being a full-time housewife might be ideal ☺️⭐️

Experience 7

It’s tough at first, but you’ll get used to it as time goes by (〃▽〃)

Wishing you a stress-free everyday life＊

According to statistics, the percentage of married women (wives) who are full-time housewives was

65% in 1980, which has dropped to 31% by 2021.

With the increase of dual-income households, it can be a significant change, especially for those

who have worked hard, to quit and focus on housework while their friends continue to work....

This is likely to cause many people to feel confused.

Furthermore, this percentage surely includes those raising children or older individuals, so

if we look only at those who become full-time housewives due to marriage, the percentage is likely much lower.

While being busy at work every day, one might think being a full-time housewife is nice...

but being a full-time housewife could also mean being busy with housework (something I'm not good at) and wanting to work,

leading to various life experiences!

This isn’t just an issue for female full-time housewives; for example, men becoming full-time house husbands, and so forth,

I hope everyone can live in a stress-free manner, as comfortably as possible according to their preferences＊

➡ Whether full-time housewives or dual-income, financial worries never end. Why not consult a financial planner about your household budget?