What to Do When Your Mother Is Not Around? Experiences of Those Who Have Had ‘Bera Down’ Done by Someone Other Than Their Mother

Classic Ceremony Tradition: Veil Down

One of the classic rituals performed during the ceremony is the veil down. This is the act of lowering the bride's face veil (the part of the veil that covers the face) before walking down the aisle.

According to a marriage trend survey (*), veil down is ranked first among "ceremony performances," with over 61% of couples incorporating this tradition.

Recently, there are not a few people who have never participated in a ceremony without a veil down.

(2015 Zexy survey)

@tonko_wedding_miavia

What to Do If Mother Cannot Attend the Wedding: Who Else Can Do the Veil Down?

Typically, the role of lowering the veil is performed by the bride's mother.

It has been referred to as "the mother's last preparation" and carries meanings such as "returning to the mother's womb."

However...

There are likely brides whose mothers have passed away, are divorced, or are estranged and cannot attend the wedding.

With the strong image that veil down is done by the mother, many brides may be troubled by the questions, "What should I do at my wedding?" and "Who should perform the veil down?"

What Is the Origin of Veil Down?

The origin of the veil itself dates back to ancient Rome, where fabric was used to cover the face as a protection against evil spirits.

Later, it became a tradition in Christian ceremonies, symbolizing the bride's protection from the devil, purity, and loyalty to God.

The Veil Down Doesn’t Have to Be Done by the Mother!

While it is often the case that the mother is asked to perform the veil down out of her deep wish for the bride's happiness, it is not necessary for the role to be filled by the mother.

As long as this person truly wishes for the bride's happiness and whom the bride feels grateful towards, anyone can perform the veil down, irrespective of gender, age, or the time spent together.

There are no set rules stating that it must be the mother, even if she is typically the one chosen by society.

In this article, we will share some experiences from brides who have had someone other than their mother perform their veil down.

While there is certainly the option to forgo the veil down altogether, there are those who long for that moment!

What did brides facing similar dilemmas choose when asking someone other than their mother to perform the veil down?

Person Other Than Mother Who Performed the Veil Down: Sister

One bride chose her beloved older sister to perform the veil down.

After losing her mother to cancer when she was young, her older sister, who is six years older, supported the family as the eldest of three siblings. She has always been an admired figure for the bride, seen as a little mother and a good friend.

In fact, the wedding dress worn during the ceremony was the same one her sister wore at her own wedding.

A touching scene unfolded as they embraced tearfully after the veil down.

Person Other Than Mother Who Performed the Veil Down: Grandmother

This bride had her grandmother perform the veil down just behind the door before entering the ceremony venue. It was a special moment shared only between the beloved grandmother and the bride.

There are no rules stating that veil down must be performed in front of guests. It can also be done privately at the door or in the bridal room.

Person Other Than Mother Who Performed the Veil Down: Father

This bride asked her father to perform the veil down in the bridal room. Memories poured over her, bringing tears to her father's eyes as well.

It’s lovely to walk down the aisle together after the veil down.

Person Other Than Mother Who Performed the Veil Down: Mentor

This bride requested her violin teacher to perform the veil down, someone who had been a significant influence on her life since she was three years old and supported her during difficult times in high school. She was sure to report her engagement to the teacher first.

Even without a blood relation, this person is invaluable. Receiving the veil down from a cherished teacher is incredibly moving.

Person Other Than Mother Who Performed the Veil Down: Best Friend

One bride with a very close best friend had her perform the veil down. While surprised by the request, her friend would surely joyfully accept it from the bottom of her heart.

It seems that their bond will remain strong for the rest of their lives.

Person Other Than Mother Who Performed the Veil Down: Aunt

This bride's mother was present at the wedding, but she surprisingly asked her aunt, who is like a second mother to her, to perform the veil down.

The performance was a surprise only known to the couple and the mother, and the relatives were very taken aback.

The aunt, who does not have a daughter, expressed her happiness, saying, "I never thought I would experience a veil down."

Being chosen for such a surprise role could certainly bring uncontrollable tears of joy.

Ask Someone Important to Perform the Veil Down.

There can be various reasons such as bereavement, divorce, or estrangement.

Brides who do not have their mothers present at the wedding do not need to feel saddened by thoughts like, "I can't do a veil down because my mother is not here! That moment I dreamed of will never come for me!!"

Feel free to ask someone you hold dear.

This can create an unforgettable performance that touches not only yourself but also your family and guests.