Is it Considered Rude to Send Wedding Announcement Cards When the Recipient is in Mourning? 【With Examples】

2019.12.29 published

Combined Wedding Announcement and New Year Card＊

Sending a "wedding announcement postcard" is a custom for newlyweds.

It allows you to inform those who attended the wedding as well as distant relatives and others who you may not have invited but have a relationship with, saying "We got married. Please continue to watch over us." and express gratitude for their support.

Recently, many brides have been sending combined wedding announcements and New Year cards.

By combining them, there’s no need for multiple exchanges, and sending a New Year card becomes the first step for ongoing correspondence in the future♩

@sakiderella_ftw

What to Do If the Recipient Is in Mourning?

When combining a wedding announcement postcard and a New Year card, the issue arises if the recipient has recently lost a close family member and is in mourning.

Mourning typically refers to a situation where a relative has passed away. The duration of mourning varies based on the relationship with the deceased, but generally,

it’s considered to last about a year if a child or parent (including in-laws) has died.

A common misconception is that mourning means "one should not celebrate during this period."

This is incorrect. Mourning is a stance where, "I am grieving a loved one, so I will refrain from participating in celebrations because it might dampen the mood or cause worry for everyone else."

Thus, sending a mourning card at the end of the year signifies, "This year, since I have lost a loved one, I will refrain from exchanging festive New Year’s greetings."

Therefore, it is generally advised not to send a combined wedding announcement and New Year card to those who have received a mourning card or have lost close family or important people in the past year.

If the Recipient Is in Mourning, Use a "Cold Weather Greeting"

For those who say, "But I want to inform them about my wedding as they have been so supportive, even if they're in mourning!!"

In such cases, it's advisable to avoid sending a wedding announcement combined with a New Year greeting card and instead use a "Cold Weather Greeting" postcard for a simple wedding announcement; this is more courteous.

Since a Cold Weather Greeting is a message expressing concern for the recipient's health, it's okay to include wedding news "on the side."

The ideal time to send it is between January 8, when New Year's decorations are taken down, and February 3, the day before the beginning of spring.

Is It Improper to Include Wedding Photos in an Announcement Sent to Someone in Mourning?

A wedding announcement postcard often includes pre-wedding photos, photos marking the date of registration, or wedding day photos in dresses, as couples want to share their joyous moments.

In fact, relatives may appreciate seeing these photos. However, if you wish to adhere strongly to etiquette and morals,

it may be best to avoid sending a postcard that prominently features happy, joyful wedding themes if the recipient is mourning.

Consider choosing a simple design with seasonal illustrations or using casual photos taken at home instead of dressed-up wedding pictures to share a glimpse of yourselves.

[Sample Text for Cold Weather Greeting]

When writing a Cold Weather Greeting combined with a wedding announcement postcard, the following flow is recommended.

Since this is being sent to someone in mourning, avoid using phrases like "Congratulations" as it is not considered proper etiquette.

① Seasonal greeting

② Wedding announcement

③ Closing remark

④ Date

⑤ Address and name

{Examples of Seasonal Greetings}

☑ During this bitter cold, how have you been? Please take care of yourself during this season.

☑ As the New Year festivities have passed, the cold has become noticeably more intense. I hope you are keeping well.

☑ With the arrival of a severe cold wave, we are experiencing extremely cold days. I hope you are managing fine.

{Examples of Wedding Announcement Phrases}

☑ On a personal note, I got married in [month] last year. We hope to build a warm family together.

☑ We got married last year and have begun our new life together. Please visit us if you're nearby.

☑ Thank you very much for your support at our wedding last year.

{Examples of Closing Remarks}

☑ As the cold days continue, please take care to avoid catching a cold.

☑ I hope for your continued relationship with us this year.

☑ Spring will soon be upon us, so please take care of your health as well.

If the Recipient Is in Mourning, Send a Cold Weather Greeting!

When sending wedding announcement New Year cards to guests at your wedding or those who have supported you,

to ensure you do not offend anyone,

☑ Send a "Cold Weather Greeting" after the New Year, avoiding New Year’s greetings that celebrate the new year.

☑ Make the wedding announcement a brief note, with a focus on seasonal greetings.

☑ Avoid using festive photos prominently.

This shows consideration.

However, some might want to say,

"I want to see the happy moments of the couple!" or "I want to see pictures from the wedding!"

In such cases, it is better to personally visit those people and share wedding albums or DVDs over tea, allowing for a good interaction♡.