"How Did I Convince My Husband, Who Dislikes Being Photographed, to Do Pre-Wedding and Post-Wedding Shoots? A Personal Experience"

2018.12.16 published

Men generally dislike taking photos!!!

One common issue that arises while preparing for a wedding is the "groom's dislike of photos" problem!

☑ Don't want to look cool

☑ Can't smile at strangers

☑ Wedding photos are embarrassing in the first place

☑ Don't understand the meaning of taking pre-wedding or post-wedding photos when we have the actual day

☑ Just plain dislike being in photos

There are countless reasons why men struggle with and are negative about wedding photo shoots. Nevertheless, it is a woman's dream to wear a dress or traditional attire and have beautiful wedding photos taken♡ Everyone wants to persuade their husbands somehow to join them in the photo shoot on the day, even if he's not enthusiastic about it...

In this article, we will share experiences of brides who persuaded their husbands to join in photo shoots despite their dislike of photos, and how they managed to request pre-wedding shoots!

@f.n.j14

How to Ask a Photograph-Hating Husband for a Pre-Wedding Shoot 1

Scheduled for post-wedding in October after the wedding on September 2019 ☺︎

I asked him to join for the photo shoot as a birthday present (since I didn't need any gifts or dinner), and he agreed! ❤️

It's embarrassing and uncomfortable, yet the price for pre-wedding and post-wedding photos is high. Hence the suggestion as a gift!🎁

How to Ask a Photograph-Hating Husband for a Pre-Wedding Shoot 2

In my case, I got approval by gifting him the Jimmy Choo high-top sneakers he wanted or a golf trip!

If you want to fulfill your own wishes, I think it's good to also fulfill your partner's wishes.

I bought the Jimmy Choo high-tops, but they were heavy and ended up almost never wearing them, which was disappointing, but my husband was satisfied.

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I agreed with my husband on a plan with a few photos and told him that this would be my birthday present this year 😊

Hearing that, he felt he couldn't refuse... and he agreed to the pre-shoot, so I was very happy to be able to take photos in a white wedding kimono! ♡♡

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My husband also isn't fond of photos, so I gave up on post-wedding shoots 😅

However, during the pre-wedding shoot, I told him it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and that he wouldn't be able to wear a traditional outfit on the wedding day.

Then, I did my research and created a comparison chart in Excel of the prices at various studios (since he's a science-type guy).

I asked him to consider a place because it wasn't overpriced and I could do what I wanted (*^^*)

Since the shoot was in the morning, I thought he might get hungry, so I made rice balls for him to eat during my costume change wait, and afterward, we went to the dinner he wanted, letting him do what he wanted as well ^ ^

The shoot ended around 1, and after changing clothes and wrapping up, we finished around 3, so it was a good thing I brought the rice balls ^ ^

Eating rice balls in a hakama was quite a surreal scene and looked like a period drama 😂

The Excel list seemed to be effective for my science-minded partner! ^ ^

By listing the pros and cons and prices, it was easy to understand, and he appreciated the effort! ^ ^

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My husband also agreed to a pre-wedding shoot just for our New Year's cards, but he absolutely refused to wear traditional clothing!

However, my mother wanted me in traditional wear, so I wore it by myself and took photos!

I was very satisfied because I could take pictures with my mother who came along with me.

Even if you forcibly take him along, if he has no motivation, it might be a good idea to not take him at all (laugh)

I think it's also okay to shoot with just my family without the groom (laugh)

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Apologies for the message!!

My husband is also not good with photos, and he gets nervous when a camera is pointed at him!

He said, "I have no idea what to do for the preparations, so I’ll just leave it all to you for the wedding," referring to me. 🥰

Both the wedding and pre-wedding are once in a lifetime, so he was cooperative!!!♡

Sorry for not being of any help 😰

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I brought it up as if it’s something you naturally do, and I made the reservation without asking!\( •̀ω•́ )/

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My husband also dislikes photos, but he had originally promised to do a traditional pre-wedding shoot!

I absolutely thought he would look great in a kimono, so I pushed that point!

I kept insisting that he wouldn’t have another chance to wear a kimono! 💡

(Since it had been since my Shichi-Go-San that I wore a hakama/kimono, he surprisingly looked happy when he actually tried it on 😂)

Additionally, we were able to do a promotional location shoot at a cheaper rate, so I asked him since he could take photos with his favorite motorcycle!

I begged and somehow got him to agree! 😅💦

I think it's good to guide your husband toward anything that piques his interest!!

You can also find and present low-cost plans or plead to let him wear outfits he won’t wear on the day (like traditional attire), saying you want just this once! 😢

It might also work to appeal to him emotionally...! (laugh)

By the way… I want to wear the dress I purchased one more time, so I'm going to do a solo post-wedding shoot!

If your husband is unwilling, it might be fine to do a pre-wedding shoot alone! 😳

How to Ask a Photograph-Hating Husband for a Pre-Wedding Shoot 9

The issue of pre-wedding and post-wedding photos is a wall many face in various ways...

We couldn't do a pre-wedding shoot due to circumstances, so we only had photos from the ceremony day.

Honestly, the photos taken on the day were pretty much just candid shots.

Of course, there are some nice photos, and many shots that can only be taken on that day, but I felt that there were fewer photos of both of us genuinely looking good than I expected.

Pre-wedding or post-wedding photos can be decisively chosen and taken, so they are indeed nice keepsakes!

Since your husband is not good with photos, this alone might not convince him, but...

Since it’s a once-in-a-lifetime wedding, maybe it would be good to express your wish to create the best memories!

Ultimately, I wanted well-composed photos of just the two of us, so I did a post-wedding shoot.

If your husband finds it too difficult, there are venues that can do longer photo sessions just for the couple on the morning of the ceremony, so it might be worth discussing.

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My husband also rejected the idea of a pre-wedding shoot! But not at the studio, a photographer who was willing to shoot engagement photos in casual clothing was found,

and he took very natural photos, and since it was inexpensive, my husband agreed! ✨

Maybe because of that engagement photo shoot, he was willing to do the dress shoot afterward ♡ Taking steps really helped!

On the wedding day, we also got a lot of pre-wedding-like photos taken before the ceremony, and overall I am satisfied! ♡

When the time comes for next year's New Year's cards, I plan to discuss doing a traditional after-shoot again with my husband! 💕

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He was extremely uncooperative, but since I absolutely wanted to do a Korean-style pre-wedding shoot,

I convinced him to do just the pre-wedding shoot at LUXE instead of having the wedding.

The shooting at LUXE is incredibly fun, and even my husband, who reluctantly came along, enjoyed the session,

After six hours of shooting, he asked if we were done, and said he wanted to do more! He even exclaimed, "Let’s go take more photos in five years!!"

So, choosing a studio where the shooting is enjoyable may encourage your husband to join you.

How to Ask a Photograph-Hating Husband for a Pre-Wedding Shoot 12

About the pre-wedding shoot. My husband was not very enthusiastic about it, but since I wouldn't be wearing traditional attire during the ceremony, I absolutely had to do it.

I conditionally got him to agree by searching for studios that did not upgrade the attire much as well.

I think it also helped to convey that my mother wanted to see me in the traditional attire.

In the end, my husband was satisfied with the post-wedding shoot 💡

Now that we haven’t done chapel photos or location photos yet for the post-wedding shoot, I am currently trying to persuade my husband about that ☺️

I believe the pre-wedding shoot can be a great memory, so please discuss it thoroughly with your husband 😊

May you have a wonderful pre-wedding shoot! ✨

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My husband also felt embarrassed about doing a pre-wedding shoot at Tokyo Station!

I casually showed him photos on Instagram and purposely took him on a date near Tokyo Station (laugh)

Whenever we spotted couples taking photos, I would say, "That’s wonderful! It’ll be a lifelong memory!"

In the end, it seemed like he enjoyed the shoot, and he said, "I’m glad we did it!" (laugh)

How to Ask a Photograph-Hating Husband for a Pre-Wedding Shoot 14

My husband kept saying he didn't want to do a pre-wedding or wedding photo shoot!

Men might not have much desire to do things like this!

However, whether you’re feeling good or not, pre-wedding shoots and weddings only happen once.

Moreover, weddings are fundamentally for the bride.

I think you should do everything you want before regretting it!

If one person is happy, the other tends to be too, and in the end, my husband said he was glad he did it 😄

Even though he claimed he really didn't want to, once we did it, it was enjoyable! 😄💕 I’m glad we did it! 🙏

As for photos, many people say they won’t look back at them, but there's a difference between not looking at photos and not being able to see them at all 🤣

Let’s make an effort to persuade them by emphasizing it's a once-in-a-lifetime occasion 😛

I hope you have a wonderful pre-wedding shoot and ceremony without regrets! 🙏

How to Ask a Photograph-Hating Husband for a Pre-Wedding Shoot 15

My husband is also not good with photos, and there aren’t many photos of him smiling 😢

I thought he wasn’t very excited about the pre-wedding shoot, but when I brought up using the photos for our welcome board or as part of a profile book or gift, he seemed to think it was a good idea! ✨

Since he wouldn’t wear traditional robes on the day, he agreed to wear them due to the encouragement of my mother,

However, he seems absolutely opposed to lovey-dovey shots, saying, "Aren't we doing a pre-wedding shoot for the day’s photos as well?" So I showed him photos from a previous couple who married at the same venue to suggest, "You can't take shots like these on the day!" and requested the shoot be kept less lovey-dovey...

Additionally, this is somewhat unrelated, but when I attended a friend's wedding, her husband also disliked photos and they didn’t do a pre-wedding shoot or profile movie, which left a somewhat lonely impression, so I briefly mentioned that.

Being able to capture moments in photographs allows you to look back and offers a chance to see things beautifully apart from the day's sequences, so you really want to take them!

How to Ask a Photograph-Hating Husband for a Pre-Wedding Shoot 16

I convinced him by saying, "I’ll pay for it!!" starting with money talks.

Then, I kept on pleading that it’s a once-in-a-lifetime chance and that I must do it!

How to Ask a Photograph-Hating Husband for a Pre-Wedding Shoot 17

As it was a special occasion, I wanted photos taken at Tokyo Tower or Tokyo Station,

but since my husband was not good with photos, I convinced him for a studio shoot.

In the studio, there were only the photographer, us, and the makeup artist, so he said it was comparatively easier to manage.

Plus, since we took photos with our pet, he was relaxed and enjoyed the shoot!

How to Ask a Photograph-Hating Husband for a Pre-Wedding Shoot 18

I persuaded him by saying that it was a different outfit and that we'd be using those photos for our welcome board on the wedding day!

It seemed tough for him since he was uncomfortable, but he managed to push through! Thankfully, on the wedding day, the same photographer helped him feel relaxed!

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Good evening. I’m a passing former bride.

I put a lot of unreasonable demands on my husband during the pre-wedding shoot (like costumes and poses!). Nonetheless, he participated without a grumpy face.

Pre-wedding shoots allow for capturing many photographs that can’t be taken on the actual day.

So, apologies for my opinion! 😅 I hope it's of some reference to you 💫

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I firmed up my point by saying it's for the parents and then flattered him by saying how cool he looks!

How to Ask a Photograph-Hating Husband for a Pre-Wedding Shoot 21

My boyfriend is also against pre-wedding shoots, saying they’re unnecessary! But since a pre-wedding shoot was included in the venue's plan...

Basically, it doesn't change the price whether we take the photos or not, so we decided to go ahead and do it.

Given that, he has shown no interest at all even though we have a meeting for the pre-wedding shoot next month ( ˙-˙ )

How to Ask a Photograph-Hating Husband for a Pre-Wedding Shoot 22

With the ceremony approaching in January, I managed to finish the pre-wedding shoot recently!

Initially, my husband didn’t want to do it and didn’t help at all with preparing the props. He became grumpy on the eve and the day of, saying he didn’t want to, and declaring, “I want to go home!” which led to a big fight.

Nonetheless, since I had booked the shoot, we went ahead, and during the actual session, it seemed to be fun for him (laugh).

In the end, I believe it will undoubtedly make great memories and be enjoyable, so I think going through with it is the best option (laugh).

How to Ask a Photograph-Hating Husband for a Pre-Wedding Shoot 23

My husband is also not fond of photos and we didn’t take many together while dating,

but when I mentioned, "I think you'll absolutely regret it when we make a profile video," he reluctantly agreed to the pre-wedding shoot.

Although it had to be the plan with the fewest photos, it was still a win! 😄

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I proposed by combining it with something my husband loves!

He loves Hokkaido, while I wanted a traditional pre-wedding shoot,

so I said, "If we do it in Hokkaido, we can take beautiful snowy photos, and afterward, we can eat lots of delicious food! ❄️"

This got him interested in the travel itself!

happily looking at the travel guide to decide what to eat. (laugh)

How to Ask a Photograph-Hating Husband for a Pre-Wedding Shoot 25

My boyfriend is also against pre-wedding shoots saying they are unnecessary!

But since it was included in the venue's plan, we're going to shoot since the price doesn’t change whether we take photos or not.

He currently shows zero interest since we’re scheduled for a pre-wedding shoot discussion next month ( ˙-˙ )

How to Ask a Photograph-Hating Husband for a Pre-Wedding Shoot 26

I proposed by combining it with something my husband loves!

He loves Hokkaido, while I wanted a traditional pre-wedding shoot, and said, "If we do it in Hokkaido, we can take beautiful snowy photos, and,

after the shoot, we can eat a lot of delicious food! ❄️" This made him interested in the trip!

As I was making shooting props, my husband was reading a travel guide next to me, happily wondering what to eat. (laugh)

How to Ask a Photograph-Hating Husband for a Pre-Wedding Shoot 27

I had the same experience with my husband as he wasn't interested at all! 😭😭

I searched for a reasonably priced place where I could definitely get a pre-wedding shoot despite my husband's dislike for it, and he finally agreed to do the traditional pre-wedding shoot!

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My husband really dislikes it, but since I wanted a pre-wedding shoot so badly,

I insisted that traditional clothes can only be worn during a pre-wedding shoot and that I would pay for it.

I also mentioned that I would find a good and inexpensive day, and I asked him if he would accompany me that one day.

I emphasized the importance of showing these to my parents and kept asking humbly.

I hope your husband becomes interested...

How to Ask a Photograph-Hating Husband for a Pre-Wedding Shoot 29

My husband wasn't too good with photos.

So I really stressed the unique experience it would be.

We did traditional and overseas location shoots for pre-wedding, and I explained that it was a once-in-a-lifetime chance to wear a traditional outfit, emphasizing that if he missed this opportunity, he wouldn’t get to wear a hakama again!

For the overseas location, I selected a country he wanted to visit and found a photographer who would shoot in spots not typically visited by Japanese travelers.

Nobody in those less crowded places would notice us shooting, and we’d get great memory shots in his favorite country, which is wonderful! 😅

When we actually went for the shoot, the photographer was skilled enough that he helped put our feelings into the photos!

Moreover, he also taught us poses and how to find the best angles.

My husband who previously used to get super nervous in front of cameras was much more relaxed on the ceremony day and looked very good in the photos!

Conversely, if he goes directly from a pre-wedding shoot to a busy wedding day without prior experience, he might end up panicking!

From that perspective, I felt grateful for having had the pre-wedding shoot after observing my husband on the ceremony day.✨

It seems that having a pre-wedding shoot allows you to ease your husband into the experience and practice a bit so he doesn’t have to add the stress of being photographed to his overall wedding day anxiety!

You might consider persuading them with the idea of minimizing stress factors when faced with this photo session 😌

By the way, my husband got used to it completely, and even enjoyed the once hated location shooting in Japan, happily accepted doing an after-shoot! 👍

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In our case, my husband is cooperative with anything he wants to do, as long as he has time available. However, I’ve heard that with friends, suggesting that it’s for New Year’s cards, or saying you want to have nice photos for grandparents tends to work well!

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My husband had a traditional mindset, thinking that striking poses and dressing up for photos was too feminine!!

He thought it was too embarrassing to do something like that! I cried and said, "But it's been my dream since I was little," and he seemed to realize that "making a woman's dream come true is a man's job" (as his traditional views go, haha).

He may not have wanted to, but he made it happen.

I’m glad I didn’t give up!

Everyone is striving to make it happen!

For women, wearing a wedding dress, traditional white kimono, or colorful uchikake is genuinely a special moment.

Moreover, the chance is not something that happens repeatedly—it is generally only at the wedding!! If they want it but can’t do it, they will absolutely regret it.

Even if taken years later, the youthful, fresh ambiance of being newlyweds happens only now.

On the other hand, men do not usually have dreams or aspirations about weddings, which often makes them indifferent about photo shoots.

"They won’t cooperate!!!"

"They won’t enjoy it with me!!!"

It can be frustrating, and make one feel sad, but men, unlike women, don’t often spend their mid-childhood days practicing makeup in front of mirrors or taking selfies,

which means they often lack the emotions surrounding "wanting to look good" or "wanting to leave memories in photos." (Actually, this is quite normal??)

So it's essential to acknowledge their feelings of reluctance!

If you kindly ask, and they decide to join you, expressing maximum gratitude with a heartfelt "Thank you so much!" seems like it would be a good approach! ♡

☑ He initially said no! But in the end, he enjoyed it

☑ He feels happy looking back at the photos

You could use these perspectives as reference when discussing with your husband! ♡