Is it Necessary to Provide Transportation Costs for a Membership-Based Wedding Without Gifts?

2019.01.10 published

In the case of a Membership Fee Wedding, how is transportation reimbursement typically handled?

Instead of receiving monetary gifts, which express congratulations on the marriage, guests simply pay a "membership fee" to attend the reception or party, hosting a membership fee wedding.

This membership fee structure is becoming popular among younger brides and grooms who don't adhere to traditional customs, as well as among couples who have hosted only the ceremony at a resort wedding and are now holding a post-return party or a 1.5 party.

(In some regions, a membership fee is the norm!)

While the event is relaxed and enjoyable without wedding favors…

the question of "transportation reimbursement" arises, much like at a traditional wedding.

Essentially, a membership fee wedding means,

"We ask guests to share the actual costs of the party."

"Since it’s a membership fee, feel free to come if you want to ♩."

It’s supposed to be a casual gathering.

But does that mean we really don’t need to consider those guests who go out of their way and spend money on travel and accommodation to celebrate our marriage?

Is "transportation reimbursement" really unnecessary...??

Since this is a concern for many, I conducted a survey and compiled all opinions♡

@chiiiiiiiro7

Is transportation reimbursement necessary at a membership fee wedding? 1

In my case, we held a party in Yokohama, with female guests' fees at 15,000 yen and male guests' at 18,000 yen. The style was seated dining with shared platters at each table.

Since I am from Tohoku, guests from my hometown had to stay overnight, so I covered their hotel expenses. (Even so, this amount didn't even cover half of their travel costs.)

There were expenses for transportation, accommodation, dress, and hair. Even though it's a membership fee wedding, I thought it would be rude not to contribute at least a little to these costs...

On the other hand, I invited only truly close friends from my hometown.

For her guests, they were mostly from relatively nearby, so we decided on a uniform amount to cover.

We are in our 30s and wanted to avoid any money-related discomfort, so we provided a small but heartfelt contribution✨

Is transportation reimbursement necessary at a membership fee wedding? 2

I was a guest and traveled about two and a half hours by car. Since the party started in the evening, I joined for a second party and stayed overnight, and they arranged a hotel for us.

I felt a bit sorry since it was a membership fee, but I was grateful.

Is transportation reimbursement necessary at a membership fee wedding? 3

I attended a wedding reception with a membership fee of 15,000 yen.

Since it was an international marriage, guests from overseas had their fees waived. However, some sent congratulatory cheques.

Those who attended the second party were invited without charging them (both bride and groom included).

Guests who only attended the second party paid 3,000 yen. We didn’t repeat anything from the wedding reception; there were no assigned seats, allowing guests to mingle.

The bride and groom also freely moved around the tables, and since there were no time limits, we could take our time to talk with each guest.

Though we limited the all-you-can-drink time, we rented the venue, so after that, guests could order drinks and pay for what they wanted.

Having a membership fee certainly increased costs for the bride and groom, but we only invited those we truly wanted to have there, free from constraints.

The absence of wedding favors was also well-received as it made for an easy departure.

Marry-san, please promote more membership fee weddings! (Laughs)

I've attended countless friends' weddings, performed entertainment, and joined second parties.

But I was always struggling financially due to "monetary gifts" and had come to resent the system. I wish the wedding industry would promote the idea that beautiful ceremonies can still happen with a membership fee by being creative.

I await posts rethinking the events that Japanese weddings have turned into. Receiving lots of money from friends while trying to make it look good on Instagram…

There must be more ways to deepen connections between people without spending money; there should be more ways to impress without incurring costs.

I hope those in the wedding industry will reconsider these points.

Is transportation reimbursement necessary at a membership fee wedding? 4

I currently live in Honshu, but I held a membership fee wedding in Sapporo! 🕊

For those coming from outside Hokkaido with family living in the area, I did not reimburse transportation.

Also, my husband's company seniors and colleagues were invited; while I couldn’t offer transportation reimbursement, I sent invitations to those who would still come.

Those who attended seemed to enjoy their trip to Hokkaido.

However, for the company executives who were invited, I did provide transportation reimbursement, and I also arranged hotels for them mainly.

I also gave transportation reimbursement to the executive from my previous company in Sapporo (who was an officer), as they did the toast.

I offered a small transportation reimbursement to other officers present, while the lower-ranking bosses did not receive transportation reimbursement.

This was quite a challenging issue during wedding preparations… 😩😭

Amounts were as follows:

Husband's company superior (main guest, hotel arranged) ⇒ 30,000 yen

Husband's company superior (hotel arranged) ⇒ 10,000 yen

Husband's company superior (no hotel arranged) ⇒ 20,000 yen

*I made the special envelope for the main guest more elaborate!*

My company officer (main guest) ⇒ 10,000 yen

My company officer ⇒ 5,000 yen

*Both received the same kind of envelope.*

Since it was their first experience at a membership fee wedding, the husband's company superior consulted with each other about the amount,

but since my husband did not particularly inform them that there would be transportation reimbursement, they later told him, "You should have told me that~" 😂

From their perspective, if they had known transportation reimbursement would be provided, they would have contributed a little more. 😨

However, in Hokkaido, it is common not to provide transportation reimbursement.

The understanding is that we consider it if guests come from far away… maybe?

(Actually, for a friend who took 5-6 hours from the northern region where they have a family to get to Sapporo, I arranged for their hotel.)

Many people who, like me, "currently live outside the area but hold a ceremony in the region" also face transportation reimbursement issues within Hokkaido!! 😣😣😣

Is transportation reimbursement necessary at a membership fee wedding? 5

I came from Ishikawa to Hokkaido, but I didn't offer transportation reimbursement! Maybe because they are relatives? 😅

Conversely, at our non-membership fee wedding, we covered our accommodation expenses ourselves and only asked guests to cover transportation!

With over 20 guests, it was quite a burden. 😓

Is transportation reimbursement necessary at a membership fee wedding? 6

I think the approach to transportation reimbursement is similar to monetary gifts.

It varies based on how the couple wants to handle the wedding, so there's no definitive amount.

If the wedding is held outside the prefecture or if I previously received transportation reimbursement at a wedding, I tend to think of offering it.

Coming from Aomori, as I'm familiar with membership fees, I’ve experienced not receiving anything even when traveling from out of town.

Is transportation reimbursement necessary at a membership fee wedding? 7

There was no transportation reimbursement.

The membership fee was 15,000 yen with no wedding favors.

Just to mention, they did inform me in advance that they wouldn’t be able to provide transportation reimbursement or accommodation, which I appreciated!

Is transportation reimbursement necessary at a membership fee wedding? 8

We held a second party in Saitama.

A college friend came all the way from Ehime, taking time off work just for the second party, so I provided transportation reimbursement.

Is transportation reimbursement necessary at a membership fee wedding? 9

I was a guest and when traveling from Tokyo to Mie, I received transportation reimbursement.

I think it was about 5,000 yen per person.

When traveling from Tokyo to Fukui, I did not receive any reimbursement. Since it was a membership fee, it felt normal not to receive it.

However, we plan to have a party in Nagoya this year, considering past experiences, I think I will provide transportation reimbursement to those who were invited or to common guests coming from distant places (like Kyoto or Shikoku)!

Is transportation reimbursement necessary at a membership fee wedding? 10

The ceremony was held about two and a half hours away from where we live, even using the highway.

For the husband's work colleagues, I provided transportation reimbursement of 5,000 yen, while for my relatives who were traveling from outside the region, we arranged a nice hotel and did not provide transportation reimbursement.

Is transportation reimbursement necessary at a membership fee wedding? 11

In Hokkaido.

I provided 10,000 yen to those who came by airplane.

Is transportation reimbursement necessary at a membership fee wedding? 12

I currently live in Tokyo, and a friend getting married in my hometown (the western part of Shizuoka) provided me with 5,000 yen.

A friend getting married in Nagoya gave me 10,000 yen.

Is transportation reimbursement necessary at a membership fee wedding? 13

I was invited to a wedding party held in Tokyo (membership fee 15,000 yen), but there was no transportation reimbursement 🙌

Is transportation reimbursement necessary at a membership fee wedding? 14

I participated in a membership fee wedding in Hokkaido.

Since we were the only ones traveling from Tokyo for a family-oriented ceremony, I received 50,000 yen.

I believe that’s quite a generous amount.

Is transportation reimbursement necessary at a membership fee wedding? 15

I held a membership fee wedding in Hokkaido.

Transportation reimbursement was provided only for guests from outside the region.

I researched the market rate and prepared the higher amount.

I also made arrangements for accommodations.

For guests coming from outside, they are mostly friends, so they hesitated about the hotel, or in some cases, they wanted only the hotel without transportation reimbursement, which I confirmed and adjusted to ensure friends’ attendance.

For those within the region who couldn’t come without staying overnight, I made reservations as well.

In those cases, I informed them that I wouldn’t be able to provide transportation reimbursement and made arrangements accordingly.

Thanks to having communicated whether or not transportation reimbursement would be given in advance, everything went smoothly without any trouble! ✨

I wanted to avoid later regretting, "I should have given transportation reimbursement," so I decided to pay where necessary.

Among my friends, some have invited guests while clearly informing them that they wouldn't be able to provide transportation reimbursement beforehand.

Is transportation reimbursement necessary at a membership fee wedding? 16

I held a membership fee wedding in Hokkaido. For guests within the region, I did not offer transportation reimbursement regardless of distance.

For guests coming from outside the region, I decided to waive the membership fee instead of providing transportation reimbursement.

I informed those guests in advance, allowing for smooth guidance at the reception without any last-minute rush.

Is transportation reimbursement necessary at a membership fee wedding? 17

Since the celebration was in my hometown in Okinawa, I told out-of-prefecture guests that the membership fee was 10,000 yen, and I provided transportation reimbursement of 10,000 yen.

However, for guests from Hokkaido and Aomori only, I provided 20,000 yen.

In fact, it's common in Okinawa for those who are close relatives or above to give a monetary gift of 10,000 yen, which I think many out-of-prefecture guests may not be aware of; my aim was to reduce everyone's financial burden, which is why I opted for a membership fee.

This way, it was also easier to standardize the gifts for 180 guests. 😅

The issue of transportation reimbursement in membership fee weddings.

Reports from 17 individuals on whether transportation reimbursement was provided at membership fee wedding parties, second parties, or 1.5 parties, or whether they received it or not.

Since there are no fixed rules or correct answers, it reveals individuals’ personalities, perspectives, and stances, making it even more difficult to decide...

For your reference, I will share the results of a survey conducted on Instagram!

In the case of membership fee weddings, over 60% responded that "they did not provide or receive transportation reimbursement."

Let’s consult with the groom to select a method that is "satisfactory and without regrets" ♩