Debate: What Do You Think About the Groom and Bride Highlighting the Planner at Their Wedding Reception?

2020.04.12 published

What do you think about the gesture of honoring the planner at the wedding reception?

The wedding, as a shining stage in life, involves various professionals who come together to create a beautiful event.

- The planner

- Venue staff

- Hair and makeup artists

- Emcee

- Chef, patissier

- Photographer

- Florist

and many others, all working together.＊

@wakana522

It is common for the bride and groom to express their gratitude by, for example, offering a "thank you bite" of the wedding cake to the planner, nominating them for an escort role during intermission, conveying their feelings of appreciation in a letter, or giving a gift or bouquet.

(In a way, it's a ceremony to honor the planner.)

In fact, opinions vary on the act of bringing the planner or staff out during the reception for a surprise thank you from the couple. Some people think, "I want to do it" or "That's nice," while others may feel, "I wonder about that," or "It’s a bit awkward..." It's a fact that both perspectives exist.

What do you all think?

Here are both sides of the opinion＊

Supportive opinions on the gesture to honor the planner＊

①

When I was anxious during the wedding preparations, the planner gave me various advice and words of encouragement. I really appreciated everything they did, so I wanted to express my gratitude by giving them a bouquet in front of everyone.

②

I thought it would be okay to convey my feelings of gratitude after the ceremony, but I wanted to surprise them, so I nominated them for a thank you bite.♡

③

Seeing how hard they work for us, my partner and I are discussing ways to do something for them now.

④

I was touched when I saw a couple doing this at their wedding; they seemed like such kind newlyweds.

⑤

It’s wonderful to build a genuine relationship with the planner, and I thought it was a truly good wedding.

⑥

I was moved by how the personalities of the bride and groom and the planner came through.

Opposing opinions on the gesture to honor the planner＊

①

The planner and staff are supposed to be behind the scenes, like stagehands. From the guests' perspective, it feels like, “Who are they?”

②

I can understand doing this for family and friends, but since the planner is working, I don’t quite get the surprise element.

③

It could be done afterward. I think there’s no need to do it during the reception; they should remain behind the scenes.

④

In the letter to the planner, the bride mentioned things like "They stepped in during our arguments, helped with DIY, and responded to sudden calls," and I felt it was a bit of a "look at how hard I worked" appeal.

⑤

It feels strange to say "Thank you for everything" to the planner in front of invited guests, who genuinely helped, especially after receiving gifts. It seems unfair for the planner to be pulled out in front of everyone and exposed to the spotlight.

⑥

While they say that it's important to take care of the guests, it feels like the guests are being left out during that time. The guests have no connection with the planner.

⑦

Since the planner plays an important role in the flow of the wedding, a sudden surprise might be nice for them, but I worry about the timing and flow of everything.

There’s no right answer! Discuss it with your partner and decide＊

We introduced opinions on the pros and cons of the couple surprising the planner or staff with gratitude during the wedding.

Of course, there’s no right or wrong answer to this question.＊

If you feel strongly that you "want to do it" and the planner is happy about it, that is a success.

On the other hand, thinking about hospitality for the guests and timing, giving gifts or letters after the ceremony is also wonderful.

Please discuss this matter with your partner and come to a conclusion that you both agree on.＊

@tonko_wedding_miavia