"Is it True?! A Photographer Inquired About the Oddness of the Term 'Instruction Sheet'"

2019.02.20 published

A message from a photographer!

We received an anonymous message through the contact form on the marry website.

Although it said "no reply needed," I wanted to share it because I believe it contains important content for everyone visiting the site.

<Inquiry Content>

I apologize for intruding on your busy schedule. Since a reply is not necessary, I entered my email address as a placeholder. I hope the editor will take a look at this.

Recently, I've often encountered request sheets labeled as "pre-wedding instruction sheets."

While I can understand that these are meant to convey the desired photos, I wonder about the appropriateness of calling them "instruction sheets."

It’s true that this is part of my job, but since it's a photography service that involves people interacting with each other, being given unilateral commands feels uncomfortable.

It seems that there are articles out there on how to create a "pre-wedding instruction sheet," but do you not feel anything toward that title?

Would it not be better to frame it as a list of favorite photos or a summary of desired shots?

Ultimately, this is a service involving people.

I believe that if someone is given such one-sided commands, even if there are better alternatives, they might not be informed about them or may no longer receive kindness.

I hope for a more gentle and considerate way of communication and word choice towards others.

When people offering services like marry write "instruction sheets," brides who don’t know anything may think this is the correct approach.

Thank you for your consideration.

As for marry.

Though there was a request for no reply, I will respond on behalf of marry's website as the editor-in-chief.

I have certainly questioned the use of the term "instruction sheet," whether regarding pre-wedding photos or welcome space decoration.

However, when marry first used the term "instruction sheet" in an article (on December 24, 2015), that term was already in use among brides.

This article

Since "instruction sheet" is a common noun, I have been using it as a natural part of our discourse since then.

On the other hand, I understand the feeling that it comes across as one-sided when referred to as "instructions,” as stated in the inquiry.

Certainly, it’s better for the photographer and the bride and groom to have a sense of teamwork. Photographers with a team-oriented approach likely enjoy greater popularity and result in higher satisfaction for the couple.

While brides may have the desire to have "photos that represent themselves" and also want "to have their favorite shots taken,"

At the same time, photographers likely wish to capture "photos that express their unique style" and preserve moments that only they can photograph.

Thus, I understand the frustration of being compelled to take specified photos that feel like they limit creativity.

Initially,

there were indeed photographers who posed brides and grooms in fixed locations and prescribed poses, leading dissatisfied brides to create what we now call request sheets.

It seems that as "instruction sheets" became common, they were subsequently submitted to photographers like the one who inquired, who truly want to capture genuine moments together.

This situation might inadvertently diminish the job satisfaction and role of photographers...

The photographer who made the inquiry appears to be a wonderful person who likely takes beautiful photographs.

Is it the name "instruction sheet" that is the problem, or the attitude? ><

I understand that what the photographer expressed, (to put it extremely) "being handed an instruction sheet demotivates me," or "I feel like my work as a photographer is being denied."

The issue might be similar to the situation where the term "disability" changed to "handicapped." (I apologize if you disagree with this comparison.)

Reflecting on whether the issue lies with the name of the instruction sheet or the attitude of the bride and groom, I wonder if it's more about the attitude rather than the name itself...?

(What do you all think?)

Of course, changing the name "instruction sheet" to "request form" might improve things a bit, but I feel that it would be quite difficult to achieve such a change both on this site and in society as a whole.

However, I feel that a solution could arise by fostering an atmosphere of mutual respect during the shooting, where both photographers and the bride and groom support one another.

(Specifically, they could say, "For the paper you provide, instead of calling it an instruction sheet, let’s say, these are the types of photos I want...")

As I contemplate this, I realize we both have many constraints to manage…!

The context is that,

the bride, being on the consumer side, understandably wants to avoid mistakes (especially because they've heard about past failures),

and is aware that not every photographer meets expectations, (influenced by their own experiences such as their coming-of-age ceremony),

leading them to set up their defenses.

Looking now from the perspective of the individual photographer hired,

it must be disheartening to be imposed with similar issues that were once challenges in the industry, as they don’t directly reflect their own experiences...

Rather than spending time with heightened tension thinking, "I must avoid failure!"

it would be happier to share moments filled with excitement wondering, "What types of photos will we capture?"

I truly wish for that...!

<Conclusion>

Therefore, summarizing my opinions is challenging, but what I can say is,

I hope brides can trust their photographers and enjoy the shoot in a fun and relaxed manner!♡

Photographers, please create happy photos that will bring joy to the brides when they look back!♡

While I cannot decisively determine whether or not to continue using the term "instruction sheet," I cannot dismiss its use,

I truly wish that the moments surrounding weddings and, ultimately, all moments in life, are happy for everyone!

<To the photographer who reached out>

I apologize for turning what was meant to be a no-reply message into an article.

However, I found the content to be truly thought-provoking and challenging. Thank you.