"100 Questions About Each Other's Values and Past That You Want to Ask Before Spending a Lifetime Together"

2021.03.30 published

There Are So Many Things You Want to Ask Before Marriage!

Your boyfriend or spouse is the ultimate person with whom you can feel the most relaxed in the world, laugh together over the most trivial things. ♡

However, because you don’t want to be disliked and want to maintain a good relationship, you often find yourself being more considerate than with anyone else, and as a result, you may not be able to ask the things you really want to know.

For example, things like money, future plans, and past experiences.

Each person has their own background and values, and it's definitely something both of you should know about each other, but in everyday conversations, it feels like there isn’t much opportunity to discuss these topics......

Therefore, in this article, I’ve compiled a list of "things you should probably ask but might find difficult to discuss as you start and continue your married life."

While looking at this page, try asking each other these questions.＊

About 【Money】

☑︎ What is your annual income?

☑︎ What are your monthly expenses?

☑︎ How much savings do you have?

☑︎ What are your savings rules?

☑︎ Do you have any debts (like student loans)?

☑︎ Do you send money to your family?

☑︎ How much do you want to save each month?

☑︎ How much do you want to spend on the wedding and honeymoon? (Who will bear how much of the costs?)

☑︎ Are there any significant personal purchases you plan for the future (like obtaining qualifications or orthodontics)?

☑︎ How do you want to manage your finances after marriage?

☑︎ Regarding your savings as a couple after marriage.

About 【Where to Live】

☑︎ Where do you want to live in the future?

☑︎ Do you have an ideal house in mind?

☑︎ Do you want to buy a house or prefer renting?

☑︎ How will you handle the burden of rent?

☑︎ If money runs out, can you both live in a small studio apartment?

About 【Family】

☑︎ What is your family structure? (Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.)

☑︎ Is your family close?

☑︎ What is your religion?

☑︎ Do you have any family or relatives with health issues?

☑︎ What are the professions of your family and relatives?

☑︎ Is your family’s house owned? Rented? Is there a mortgage?

☑︎ How many times a year do you want to visit home?

☑︎ Do you want to get along well with your partner’s family? Or maintain some distance?

☑︎ How would you like your partner to interact with your family?

☑︎ Are there any family events you absolutely want to participate in?

☑︎ Do you plan to take over the family business in the future?

☑︎ Is there a plan for cohabitation? Are you expected to live together?

☑︎ Do you want to eventually return to your hometown?

☑︎ What are your thoughts about caregiving?

☑︎ Should you bear the costs of caring for your parents?

About 【Work】

☑︎ Do you like your job?

☑︎ Why do you work?

☑︎ Do you want to continue your current job?

☑︎ Are you satisfied with your current job?

☑︎ What do you think about changing careers?

☑︎ Which is preferable: a high-pressure job with high pay or a relaxed job with low pay? Which would you like your partner to choose?

☑︎ What do you think about your partner's job?

☑︎ What are your thoughts on your partner’s income?

☑︎ What do you think about being a full-time homemaker?

☑︎ If there’s a job transfer, would you prefer to be away for work? Do you want your partner to come with you?

☑︎ What are your thoughts on men taking paternity leave? Do you want to take it?

About 【Children】

☑︎ Do you want children?

☑︎ When do you want them? How many do you want?

☑︎ Do you have any reservations about getting a bridal check?

☑︎ Even if infertility treatments are necessary, do you still want to have children?

☑︎ How long will you wait before seeking infertility treatment?

☑︎ Do you want to focus on teaching your children about healthy eating?

☑︎ Would you want your baby to watch YouTube?

☑︎ At what age do you want to enroll your child in daycare or kindergarten?

☑︎ How will you cooperate in raising children when they are small?

☑︎ How much allowance do you want to give to your children?

☑︎ At what age do you think they can have a smartphone?

☑︎ Do you want to prepare your children for elementary school entrance exams?

☑︎ Do you want to prepare your children for middle school entrance exams?

☑︎ Would you be okay with your child living far from home while attending university?

☑︎ In that case, how much would you like to send them as support?

About 【Household Chores and Daily Life】

☑︎ Who will cook?

☑︎ Are you a fan of packed lunches for lunch?

☑︎ Who will wash the dishes?

☑︎ Who will do the laundry?

☑︎ Who will do the cleaning?

☑︎ Can you tolerate a messy room?

☑︎ At what level do you think a room is messy?

☑︎ Who will take out the trash?

☑︎ Who will clean the toilet?

☑︎ Who will check the mailbox?

☑︎ How often do you change your toothbrush?

☑︎ Do you want to wash bath towels after each use?

☑︎ Do you dislike saving money?

☑︎ What have you considered "economical" in the past?

About 【Food】

☑︎ Can you tell your partner if their cooking tastes bad?

☑︎ Are there any foods you dislike?

☑︎ What do you want them to cook?

☑︎ What do you not want them to cook anymore?

☑︎ Do you enjoy cooking?

☑︎ Do you like when your partner cooks for you?

☑︎ How often would you like to eat out?

☑︎ Do you sometimes want to eat alone?

☑︎ What would you like to do if you’re full while your partner isn’t at mealtime?

About 【Unforgivable Actions】

☑︎ What do you consider cheating?

☑︎ What would you do if you were cheated on?

☑︎ Have you ever cheated?

☑︎ Under what circumstances would you seek a divorce?

☑︎ What do you think about a loveless marriage?

☑︎ What constitutes a loveless marriage?

☑︎ What is your opinion on having close friends of the opposite sex?

☑︎ Is there a difference between love and marriage?

☑︎ Are there things you don't want your partner to do?

☑︎ How do you feel about a lack of sex?

☑︎ At what point does it become a lack of sex?

☑︎ What would you do if your relationship became sexually inactive?

About 【Anniversaries】

☑︎ How many special occasions do you want to celebrate each year?

☑︎ How would you like to spend anniversaries?

☑︎ How much budget would you like to allocate?

☑︎ Do you want gifts?

☑︎ What gifts would make you happy?

☑︎ What has been the most meaningful anniversary for you so far?

☑︎ Do you have any requests for anniversaries?

☑︎ Have there been any unsatisfactory anniversaries?

Did you find other things you want to ask?

Because you’re important to each other!!

I’ve listed as many things as I could think of that you want to ask but find it hard to bring up.

While asking these questions, there may have been moments where you thought, “I want to know more about this!!”

And you might have started to get an idea of what points are important to you versus what’s important to your partner, right?

Let’s get to know each other better and live together in understanding. ♡

➡ If you want to talk about money, it's recommended to include a financial planner!