Colds and Influenza: How Wives Handle Their Husbands' Illnesses in the Real World

2019.06.14 published

What to do as a wife when husband is unwell?

This time, the marry survey is about how to respond when "your husband is bedridden and unwell."

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What do you all do at home when your husband is unwell??

My husband has been looking unwell for about a week now and hasn’t been able to eat anything. He has been going to the hospital for tests and medications, but he isn't getting any better, and it’s so sad to see him shaking and sleeping every day.

Sometimes I think maybe I should call an ambulance, but when I ask him, “Should I call an ambulance?” he firmly says, “Absolutely not.”

I worry about various things, but it seems that my husband prefers to be alone, as he tells me to “leave him alone.” When he says that, I'm not sure what to do, and I Google “what to do when husband is unwell,” but I can only find pages saying things like “it makes me frustrated!” I don’t know how I can make him feel better or if there’s a correct way to respond.

Everyone, what do you do when your husband is unwell and bedridden...? Please let me know.

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How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 1

I prioritize making what my husband wants to eat!

If he seems to have an appetite, I ask him what he wants and make that. If he doesn’t have an appetite, I make porridge or rice porridge.

I eat the same thing as him! Conversely, when I'm unwell, I only want to eat jelly, so I always have him bring that for me.

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 2

My husband usually pays close attention to me since I have a mental illness, so when he feels unwell, he brings easy-to-eat foods and helps out with household chores, which is a great help.

Conversely, when my husband is unwell, I do everything I can to help him. I ask him in detail if he's too hot or cold, if he has any pain, or if there's anything he wants to eat.

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 3

First and foremost, I always insist that he goes to the hospital to get a prescription when he's feeling unwell.

He tries to treat himself with over-the-counter medication, but that has never worked😅

I find it weird how men don’t want to go to the hospital...even my own father would say “It'll get better if I just sleep,” and wouldn’t go to the hospital, despite his condition never improving. Watching that made me frustrated😅😅

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 4

I absolutely do not leave him alone in bed; I stay in the same room with him😊

While he's sleeping, I let him be, and when he wakes up, I gently ask if he wants something to drink or if he's cold, and when there’s nothing needed, I simply lay beside him.

When he's truly suffering, I don’t hug or touch him; I just stay by his side without talking, and that seems to give him comfort☺️

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 5

I make sure he goes to the hospital as a responsible adult! If he’s giving off a vibe of being unwell without going to the hospital, it doesn’t make for a good atmosphere.

Since we have kids, I need him to manage his health. I make sure he goes to the hospital after work for cold symptoms, cavities, and back pain so that they don’t linger🗽

Of course, if he has a high fever or other serious symptoms, I do as much care as I can, like switching ice packs and preparing a change of clothes… (I take action to prevent spreading viruses in the house. lol)

I’ve only commented from the perspective of a typical cold💦

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 6

When my husband is unwell, he usually just sleeps, so I let him rest quietly. Sometimes I check on him or send him a message on LINE.

I tell him, “If you need anything, just message me or call.”

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 7

I ask him directly!

I ask about everything he wants me to do and what he wants to eat. Since I also have kids, I make sure to eat well so that we don't both end up in a bad situation!

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 8

In our house, I ask directly what he wants! I check if there’s anything he can eat or if there’s something he desires.

I think he would know best how he feels. (laugh)

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 9

In our house, I urge him to go to the hospital, and once he’s back, I let him rest🙆‍♂️

I help him eat something that seems appetizing, give him his medication, and then encourage him to sleep again soon after.

As for me, I will cook something easy for myself since I cannot have a portion for him. I eat well because if we both fall ill, that would be a real problem.

I don't feel guilty at all about eating well; I think that keeping healthy is the best way to care for my husband💦

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 10

When either of us is unwell, we make easy porridge or similar meals and eat together! We don't overly worry about each other, but if we both feel down, we just let each other rest.

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 11

When my husband caught a cold previously, he was resistant to going to the hospital, so I had him take over-the-counter medicine, put on a fever-reducing sheet, and made him stay in bed.

I made porridge, but found out he actually doesn't like it💦 (I wish he would have told me before I made it…🌀)

He had an appetite, so we ended up eating regular meals together💡 I mostly kept an eye on him and tried not to disturb him too much.

Since he reached out when he needed something, I went about my day as usual😊

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 12

My husband likes attention, so I make porridge, buy drinks like Pocari Sweat, and jelly, and then apply fever-reducing sheets when he’s sick.

I have come to understand what he wants, and when I buy things before he asks, he seems happy and appreciates it.

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 13

In my house, we buy drinks like Pocari Sweat and keep them cold in the fridge, and if there’s something he wants to eat, I buy it and prepare it for him.

I let him eat when he wants, so I leave him alone for the most part. "Leave him alone" might sound harsh, but if I were bedridden with a fever, I would prefer to have just the drinks (like Pocari Sweat) and then sleep.

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 14

Is your husband okay? Worrying about him... Our family tends to catch colds easily due to low immunity🤧

I want to make meals focused on eating as much as possible, so I often make his favorite meals. He dislikes porridge and therefore I avoid making it💦

I also have him drink R-1 yogurt drink every morning as a habit and always keep it stocked in the fridge! Additionally, I use a custom-made pillow to ensure he gets enough restful sleep!

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 15

When my husband is unwell, I prepare or buy easily digestible foods like jelly, udon, or porridge❁

I think he would need peace to rest, so apart from meals, I try to keep a distance, but I still worry and check on him every few hours😂

I try to pamper him a little when he's unwell, giving him a lap pillow with a cotton swab (laugh) When I'm unwell, my husband takes care of me similarly😊♡

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 16

I get sick more often, so our roles are reversed. My husband just takes care of everything while lightly reassuring me with statements like “Are you okay? It’s alright.”

He doesn't deny me and helps out with things I can't manage, which I find helpful☺️ He also tends to forget about my sick times immediately. So, when I feel well, I sometimes take a break from chores and act tired before going to sleep😂

But that’s actually just right.

When my husband is tired or unwell, he seems to want to be left alone, so I simply check in with “Are you okay?” and let him rest slowly. I make sure he knows he can express weakness whenever.

I prepare simple meals that can be ready anytime without worrying about the clock, so it's easily accessible.

I think we worry less but still seriously look up necessary information, and when one of us can do something, we support each other. I hope you don't push yourself too hard, and take care of your husband too😔

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 17

I'm worried about your husband's health😰💦

In our house, since my husband dislikes porridge, I always ask what he might be able to eat. I think asking if he needs anything else would be great too😊

Also, the caregiver needs to stay healthy too, so please eat a lot and share the energy! I wish for his quick recovery😌💓

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 18

If he’s been unwell for a while, I take him to the hospital. Even if tests show nothing, he often gets better😂

I’ve made udon for him. Since my husband is actually better at cooking, when I had the flu, he made me a nutritious chicken soup filled with vegetables.

It was so delicious it brought me to tears, and I was so happy. I heard that in America, chicken soup is preferred over medicine. lol

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 19

My husband often gets sick. As a nurse, I have to admit that I don’t take care of him as much as I should (laugh).

When he's feverish, I give him ice packs and antipyretics, and in general, I let him sleep until he recovers. If he has no appetite, I boil udon or make porridge for him.

I keep an eye on him, but if one of us is feeling unwell, it can halt wedding preparation and all, so I sometimes find myself complaining, “Again?” (laugh)

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 20

This January-February, my husband also felt unwell for nearly two months and took time off work😢

I asked him what he wanted to eat, what he didn’t want to do, and what he didn’t want, but I made sure he went to the hospital and basically let him rest.

I can’t allow myself to fall ill as well, so I made sure I eat well and get enough sleep to maintain a regular lifestyle!

It’s genuinely worrisome when your husband feels unwell😞 During such times, I think it’s essential to manage your health and maintain a smile as much as possible. (*´∇｀*)

I hope your husband recovers quickly‼

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 21

I ask if he can eat porridge, jelly, or fruit and prepare it or set it aside, and then I let him sleep as much as he needs!!

Meanwhile, I handle the household chores and make sure I eat properly.

When I feel unwell, the same happens; my husband prepares meals and does housekeeping for me, allowing me to rest assured.

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 22

Since both of us are in the medical field, we have some knowledge and take care of each other. We share suggestions, like “Maybe you should try this,” or “This food will be good for you,” etc.

I had severe morning sickness, which led to a hospitalization. After I was discharged, I was nearly bedridden, and my husband took on all household responsibilities and looked after me.

Once my sickness improved, and I returned to work, I faced more minor troubles as my stomach swelled, and again, I needed my husband’s support...

He even massages me or prepares dinner for me while strongly insisting I rest. (laugh)

If my husband were in the same condition, I honestly don’t know how far I could go, but I want to do my utmost for him✨

Different couples have their own dynamics, but over time, one can often lose interest in caring for one another and concern for each other.

As long as we remember to be concerned about one another and neglect, we can be there for each other for a long time and become a more wonderful couple. However, it's also good to care for each other without putting too much burden on oneself🤗🌟

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 23

It depends on how he's feeling...

Fundamentally, both of us are the type that prefer to quietly lay down; when either of us is sick, we keep the noise low and let the other rest peacefully.

When he’s unwell, I usually prepare easy-to-eat foods like porridge or vegetable soup for him. He’s not skilled in cooking, so he usually gets easy items like jelly or fruits from the nearby supermarket or convenience store.

If one of us loses our appetite, we still eat separately but ensure that we eat well. If we don't eat, we just end up making the other feel worried, which isn't good.

Since we are a couple, we’ve discussed that it’s not right for either of us to be overly reserved. We’ve promised that whenever needed, we must not hesitate to rely on each other, even when we want to depend on one another. (laugh)

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 24

I ask what he needs! If he seems unable to answer due to how difficult it is, I take him to the hospital.

When he’s napping, I keep an eye on him to ensure there’s no danger while trying not to create noise around him.

As for meals, I ask him and prepare what he requests! If he says anything is fine, I’d think of something on my own and discreetly let him know, like saying, “I made something gentle, considering your sore throat.”

Personally, since I want to be taken care of, I usually indulge myself when I'm unwell (laugh).

However, given that he seems to be unwell for a long time, I think it might be best to take him for an examination or at least to the hospital!

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 25

I simply ask what he needs😅 It varies since conditions change at different times. Conversely, when I'm unwell, I share what I want and what I don't want regarding help.

Even though we've lived together for a long time, there are many things that don’t get realized unless expressed in words, so I try to avoid the mindset of assuming he should just notice my need.

I find it cumbersome to cook different meals for both of us, so one of us usually prepares the other’s meal, or I might simplify my own meal significantly.

Our household chores are evenly divided, so during tough times, I’ll step in or even if told “I’m fine,” I’ll continue to handle things I notice or sneak in treats.

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 26

My husband tends to overreact even with mild fevers, and I can’t help but feel annoyed internally (he's being dramatic again...).

However, he gets in a bad mood if I leave him alone, so I buy cold packs and electrolyte drinks to keep by his bedside.

After that, I would tell him, “You wouldn’t want your cold to spread to our daughter (1 year), so I will keep my distance.” We simply continue as usual.

Regardless of whether he wants something, I make sure to eat a proper meal for myself. In fact, it’s convenient since I don’t even need to make anything for him, and I take advantage of the situation to buy ready-made food! (laugh)

We are on good terms, and while I will occasionally check in with, “How’s the fever?” I don’t fuss over him too much.

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 27

In our house, when one of us feels unwell, the other takes care of him or her, doing all household chores. I also take him to the hospital if necessary or buy electrolyte replacement drinks like Pocari Sweat.

I prepare porridge and other easy-to-eat meals according to his preferences. Naturally, the healthier one will also eat well and do enough to keep up their strength!

I always make an effort to ensure the person who is feeling unwell can recover quickly, ideally without spreading any illness. It’s unacceptable to just let someone fend for themselves.

If someone can ask to be left alone, I wonder if they should even be considered unwell in the first place. Aren't we family? I would be shocked if one would do the same for children.

I don’t feel any guilt or burden whatsoever.

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 28

I'm one who prefers to be left alone, while my husband is on the side of wanting attention, so I think it really depends on the person💡

I find it difficult when spoken to or touched while I'm sick, so I need to be left alone, and I communicate what I can eat and prepare that for me.

I only respond to requests my husband has made, but it’s best to ask him directly what he wants since every person's background and approach is different.

There’s no need to feel guilty about eating well. Instead, please aim to successfully eat well and support your husband physically and mentally☺️

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 29

When I’m unwell, I leave the house chores to him. I'm the type who wants to be asked, "Are you alright?" but it seems he prefers to be left alone when he doesn't feel well and would like to rest quietly.

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 30

The way he wants to be treated matters, but in our home, we make him what he wants to eat (something easy to digest), let him eat and take his medication, and let him rest!

I believe the best remedy when feeling unwell is “eat and rest!"

From time to time, I check in to see if he needs anything, seeing if there's anything he wants or needs.😌

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 31

I’m a nurse.

I might not understand if your condition is just a cold or a disease, but for a mild cold, I won’t overly worry. I’m aware that if handled appropriately, it will resolve itself eventually.

Yet, it’s still challenging, and although I usually prepare porridge or udon for him, I tend to eat regularly without worrying too much.

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 32

We are dual earners. I bear in mind that if I fall sick, I can also impose on my workplace, and if my husband falls ill, that makes immediate support much more difficult. So, I deliberately sleep away from him. That way, he doesn't have to worry that he might pass his cold onto me.

I’d say things kindly, such as, “If you feel like eating anything, just say so😊,” or “If you need something, I can bring it😊,” or even making jokes like, “Maybe work is tiring you out? So just rest up when you’re feeling unwell; get well soon, so you can start earning again!”

I maintain a relaxed atmosphere where I don’t feel obligated to do anything and simply let him know I’m willing to help whenever possible🤗

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 33

I’m not married yet, but I live together with my boyfriend🙄. While living together, he certainly gets unwell sometimes due to work and other pressures.

During those times, I prepare nutritious items like energy drinks, nutritious tablets, or appetite-stimulating breakfast items like Weider. If he’s outdoors too much, I might get him salt tablets...

I try to have various comforting items at hand the moment he might feel low. I hope your husband gets better soon👏

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 34

If he’s been unwell for a while or appears really bad, I’ll make sure he receives proper treatment at a hospital.

For simple colds, I try not to engage too much and quietly care for him. When I’m unwell, I often find talking to be annoying.

It’s not good if both partners are sick, so when he’s eating porridge, one should never hesitate to eat nutritious meals themselves!

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 35

I've worked as a nurse.

I worry a lot when my husband is unwell😭😭. I once fell ill right after we got married.

During that time, my husband helped with cleaning and washing clothes, which was a plus. When I had no appetite, he bought me Pocari and asked me what I wanted to eat, which helped me a lot.

Also, I found it helpful when I couldn’t prepare his meals, so I just took care of myself. Sleep is the priority when you feel unwell, so I think it's very important to ensure he has enough sleep.

I also try to buy delicious foods (easy to digest) and, whenever he seems pained, I would offer to massage him out of kindness. If he can't take a bath, I would help by wiping him down with a warm towel or changing his pajamas...

Of course, the extent of care would depend on the state of health, but I believe that doing what would make him happy will surely bring him joy.

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 36

In our house, it largely depends on how unwell my husband is.

☑︎ I let him quietly rest

☑︎ I ask if he’s hungry when he wakes up

☑︎ I would give him a nice massage if he needs one

☑︎ I let him rest.

I would ensure I also eat well separately, as it's crucial to maintain good health for both of us while one is unwell

How do you deal with your husband being unwell? Response 37

Since my husband is also good at cooking, if one of us is sick, the unwell person gets easy-to-digest foods like udon or porridge, and the healthier one enhances it with some seasoning to make it tastier.

It's a way of saying, once you feel better, we can enjoy better meals together💓

I hope your husband recovers soon✨

We want him to recover soon ><

It’s absolutely true that “health is wealth,” and when you're not feeling well, there’s little enjoyment in life, so being unwell is tough.

Moreover, even when one of us is fine, seeing the partner unwell often leaves us unsure of what we can do, even as spouses.

As I look through these survey results, I think about what the best way we can find to make life comfortable together is, and if there’s anything we can adopt from them.