When Requesting Entertainment for a Large Group: Is it Necessary to Thank Everyone Even with a Limited Budget?

2019.06.18 published

How should I express my gratitude for a large group performance?

We received this inquiry to marry.

*******************

I asked close friends to perform, and it seems they reached out to everyone.

Of the 40 guest slots at my wedding, about 30 people have agreed to help with the performance.

In this case, should I express my gratitude to all 30 people? If so, the budget per person becomes too small, and I'm not sure what I should give.

It would end up being something similar to a small gift...!

Also, I've always been curious, but isn't it often the case that the leader who was asked to handle the performance and the actual doers (like those who made the video) are different people?

Making a video is tough, right? Do you think people are thanking the workers too?? I’m really curious…

*******************

Here are all the responses gathered from our followers♡

Regarding thank you gifts for performances [Response 1]

I think gratitude should be extended to everyone. I believe it's also important to thank the workers.

There might be budget constraints, but in that case, either reduce the number of people asking for help or prioritize giving a proper thank you, even if it results in a deficit.

I think giving something with a similar budget to a small gift would be disrespectful to the guests 💦 I've seen friends get angry over this.🙇‍♀️

A friend of mine coordinated a dance with everyone and it took several days to practice, but they received only a token thank you for a few hundred yen, and their relationship faded afterward.🙇‍♀️

If giving thanks is difficult, perhaps it’s best not to request anything in the first place...?💦

Regarding thank you gifts for performances [Response 2]

Gratitude is a feeling, so I intend to give out light small gifts to everyone for now!

After seeing the performance on the day, I plan to extend a proper thank you to the friends who primarily worked on creating the video, and to the friend who took the lead and gathered everyone☆

Plus, I'll say thank you for the performance and give a little something from our honeymoon!❣️

Regarding thank you gifts for performances [Response 3]

When I was asked to perform at a friend's wedding, I did all the work myself, including making a message video.

At my own wedding, I asked one friend to help, but it turned out that another friend also contributed to planning the performance, resulting in a flash mob involving many attendees.

I didn’t know until the day of the wedding that others were helping, so I only gave thanks to the friend I originally asked.

It would definitely be difficult to give thanks to several dozen people, so I think it’s okay to stick with just those who were initially asked.😊

Regarding thank you gifts for performances [Response 4]

I’ve participated in dance performances in two weddings.

For the first one, it seemed only the leader received a gift, and I personally didn’t receive anything in terms of material or monetary thanks.

For me, I understood that I was cooperating with a representative who was directly requested by the bride and groom, so I didn’t mind not receiving anything.

The second time, our group of 7 planned a dance and the representative gave us money (10,000 yen) when leaving, anticipating a party with the members afterwards.

Regarding thank you gifts for performances [Response 5]

I have participated in performances a few times, but mostly people only thanked the one who asked them.

However, I did receive a thank-you message later.

I think since it was not directly requested from me but I was asked to help by a friend, and I wanted to celebrate, it’s okay if there’s no specific thank you. I’d be happy if they enjoyed it.

Regarding the performance video, I think asking someone who can’t contribute is a burden for them and the person asked.

So, I didn’t have such people around me. If you have a specific person in mind, you should ask someone skilled in that area.

Since you seem to be concerned about your budget, it might be better to ask someone who can handle it from the beginning.

Regarding thank you gifts for performances [Response 6]

When I asked company members for performances, they worked together to create visuals, handmade lamps, preserved flowers, and matching cups, and we received an album with videos and comments from many departments.

☑ The leader from my department (came all the way to the distant venue to coordinate)

☑ The supervisor who led the video creation

☑ The performers and those who made handmade gifts.

I sent gifts like beer or assorted sweets depending on their level of involvement.

I expressed my gratitude via company email to others who commented, and I called the executives directly to express my thanks!

I wanted to express my gratitude to as many people as possible, but as some were from other branches, I focused on my own department.

Regarding thank you gifts for performances [Response 7]

Regarding thank you gifts for performances, I've never accepted an offer with the expectation of a gift, so I don’t mind if there’s none!

I’m doing it hoping the bride will be happy.😊💕

Regarding thank you gifts for performances [Response 8]

We performed for two pairs of grooms only! My husband asked each representative for one, and the other members found out on the day.

I made my thank you gift from our honeymoon souvenirs ✈︎ I gave more to the representatives of the karaoke trio and a little to the other two.

The other pair involved a dance and a video; for the video participants, there were no gifts, and I gave more to the representative and the video creator, while a little to the dance participants.

Additionally, during the interlude with a horseback battle, many of my husband’s friends helped, but I didn’t give them any gifts.

For 30 out of 40 people, I think a small gift would be fine. I think it’s better to give something a little nicer to the representative and the video creator.😊

Regarding thank you gifts for performances [Response 9]

I’ve performed several times. While I don’t expect gifts, I don’t feel disappointed if I receive a low-value thank you gift.

However, if I feel the groom and bride’s intention is to economize, I feel sad for all the effort we put in.

I often see brides on Instagram saying, “Gratitude is a feeling!” but that phrase shouldn’t come from the gift-giver...

Regarding thank you gifts for performances [Response 10]

I was on the performing side.

The groom wanted to send a flash mob surprise to the bride and asked us, her friends, to participate.

We practiced a lot for this dear friend❣️

The only gesture of gratitude from the husband was treating us to drinks during the planning meetings. We did not receive anything in particular.

Regarding thank you gifts for performances [Response 11]

As a member of the bride’s side, I encountered a similar situation and only gave gifts to the three direct friends I asked as representatives!

The actual performance was a message video, with other friends reaching out for videos and I edited them.

Some friends, whom I asked, were too busy to help, so I think it was fine not giving thanks to everyone.

The organizing representative has it the hardest, so as a gift, I gave Starbucks cards worth 3000 yen each.🙌

Regarding thank you gifts for performances [Response 12]

I had 10 people perform a video. 😀 Making a video can be demanding, so I gave a 10,000 yen gift card to the person in charge of production and 1,000 yen Starbucks cards to the other 9 participants (>_<).

Since those 10 people came from afar, I also gave them each 10,000 yen as transportation fees. 🚃

Regarding thank you gifts for performances [Response 13]

I was the one asked to create the video.

A representative from the group contacted me, and I ended up doing the video creation, but I received no thanks, only the representative did.

Making a video was extremely challenging, and I sacrificed my sleep while doing it, so it made me feel very angry that no thanks came my way, ignoring my time and effort.

I question not just the groom and bride's character but also that of the friend who asked me. I really don't want to do it again.

Regarding thank you gifts for performances [Response 14]

I’m not sure about the performance details, but at my wedding, my husband’s workplace colleagues made a video for me.

Many people participated in the video, but I only gave thanks to the one who edited it!

Regarding thank you gifts for performances [Response 15]

We performed with 7 people, but in reality, there was 1 leader and 1 main worker, while the other 5 were just there to assist, so I only thanked those two.☺️

Regarding thank you gifts for performances [Response 16]

I think if I sent gifts to everyone, it would be too overwhelming, so I sent Shu Uemura lipsticks to the main two people. 🐮🌱

I think it would be fine to thank the person who was asked and the one who made the video, though...

Regarding thank you gifts for performances [Response 17]

I think it’s better to give thanks to as many people as possible...

If you ask guests to attend your wedding, for which you paid 300,000 yen, you shouldn’t ask for a performance without thanking them.

I was surprised when once I received "thank you for the performance" along with flowers for the head table.

It’s important to ensure no one feels neglected!

In the case of a large group performance, we shared experiences from both the bride and groom's perspective as well as the guests who performed.

While no one wants a thank you, it’s disheartening to think “I didn’t receive a thank you,” as well as to actually think that...

When pondering "What should I do for thank you?" rather than brushing it off with "Oh, it’s fine!" it is best to convey your feelings of gratitude sincerely, leading to a positive outcome.

@haruno45