"Perfect for Instagram but a No-Go in Real Life! Etiquette for Newlyweds: How to Address Your Husband and Use Polite Language"

2019.11.04 published

Just Married ♡ It's Exciting to Call Him "Husband" instead of "Boyfriend"!

Congratulations to the bride who has officially registered her marriage with her beloved and become a couple ♡

Every time you introduce the important person you've referred to as a "boyfriend" as "husband" or "spouse," you can't help but savor your happiness.

The thrill of using a new title and the delightful feeling that comes with it is one of the great pleasures of the newlywed period ♡

@haruno45

Common Mistakes for Brides-to-Be. Be Careful About How You Refer to Him in Real Life!

However…

While you are soaking in that happiness, there’s one thing you need to be cautious about.

It’s how you refer to your husband in front of acquaintances and friends.

Many brides naturally call their husbands "husband" or "darling husband" on Instagram, but…

If you use those same terms in real-life relationships,

you run the risk of being perceived as:

"Lacking common sense"

"Are you in a fantasy world?"

This could turn people off…!

It's a No-Go to Use "Darling Husband" or "Husband" When Referring to Family!

Once you're married, your husband is now family. It's generally considered inappropriate to use honorifics like "darling" or "Mr." when referring to family.

If you’re among friends who are very close and you can share love stories, that’s fine,

but in less intimate relationships, it's safer to refer to him simply as "husband."

Calling your own parents "dad" or "mom" in formal settings or in front of acquaintances feels a bit off, doesn’t it?

As an adult in society, you would refer to them as "father" and "mother."

Thinking of it this way should make it easier to understand.

There are even opinions that find the term "boyfriend" awkward, so "husband" and "darling husband" might raise even more resistance.

You might feel that it's your freedom to call your spouse however you want and that others should just mind their own business!

However, it’s something you want to avoid, as a poor choice of words could lead to you or him being perceived as "imperfect."

It seems best to keep the "husband" and "darling husband" terms limited to your private SNS accounts and among very close friends.

Another Caution! Do Not Use Honorifics for Him or His Family

In addition to how you refer to him, it’s also important to be mindful of how you use honorifics.

Since you have become family, it’s a no-go to use honorifics when discussing him or his family with others.

For instance, saying "My darling husband did this" or "My dear mother-in-law came by" is not appropriate.

In the professional world, you learn first that "you don't use respectful language for internal employees when speaking with outsiders." (An example of what not to say: "The president is present.")

Similarly, even if you respect them and want to express that respectfully, using honorifics for family members is generally seen as outside of common sense.

It's easy to fall into this trap, so it's something to be cautious about.

Differentiate Between Internal and External Relationships in How You Refer to Them ♡

We’ve discussed the dos and don’ts regarding how to address your partner and the use of honorifics during your newlywed period.

It's essential to differentiate clearly between closed SNS and interpersonal relationships and relationships with others.

Let’s be mindful of the time, place, and occasion, and enjoy the sweet newlywed period ♡