"A Casual Meet-and-Greet: A Complete Report on Choosing Dates, Locations, and Attire"

2020.04.05 published

We held a face-to-face meeting＊

Hello, I'm Nagisa from Marry.

Like everyone else, I'm a bride-to-be, and we recently had our face-to-face meeting!

I plan not to have a formal engagement ceremony.

Our parents have never met each other. They haven’t spoken on the phone either.

When I searched on the internet, I found many articles about the traditions of engagement ceremonies and formal face-to-face meetings, as well as personal experiences. However, there is surprisingly little information about casual face-to-face meetings.

Since I simply wanted a casual gathering where everyone came together for a meal, I realized while preparing that “Oh, there aren't many useful pages about this...” So, I'm writing this as a record.

I will report on the restaurant I chose for the face-to-face meeting, the reasons for my choices, the outfits, and what I paid attention to＊

I hope this helps other brides-to-be who want to have a casual meal meeting between families.

<How We Decided on the Date for the Face-to-Face Meeting>

Here’s how our timeline went after getting engaged:

① Engagement in October

② Greeting my family in early November

③ Greeting his family in late November

④ Visiting wedding venues and deciding on a date at the beginning of the year

⑤ Face-to-face meeting in March

⑥ Wedding in April

As soon as we got engaged, I thought we needed to greet our parents early, so we visited both families the month after the engagement.

During the visit, we discussed whether we were having a wedding, when it would be, and whether we would have an engagement ceremony.

We decided to have a family-only wedding, so we visited several wedding venues from the end of the year into the new year and made a decision.

We aimed to have the wedding at the end of April, and decided to have the face-to-face meeting beforehand. However, his mother requested to wait until “it’s a bit warmer,” so we decided to have the face-to-face meeting at the end of March.

@haruno45

<How We Chose the Meeting Place>

I thought choosing a restaurant for the face-to-face meeting would typically involve these types of venues.

① The wedding venue

② A well-known restaurant or traditional Japanese inn chains (like Ukai, Nadaman, Hiramatsu, etc.)

③ Hotels

Keeping ① to ③ in mind, here are the points we focused on when deciding on a place for the face-to-face meeting.

☑ Near a station that’s convenient for both families

☑ Preferably a casual restaurant, not a formal traditional inn or hotel

☑ Budget of about 10,000 yen per person (including drinks)

☑ Private room

Since his home is in Kanagawa and mine is in Chiba, we aimed to find a place near Tokyo Station for their convenience.

I thought it would be nice to go with a well-known restaurant chain, as it brings peace of mind.

I remembered that “the Ukai tofu house in Shiba Park is quite popular for face-to-face meetings,” so I decided to look for places in the Ukai group.

The Ukai Group has “Grill Ukai” in Marunouchi, near Tokyo Station, which was ideal for our needs.

It’s conveniently located, relatively casual, offers a lunch course for about 5,000 yen (around 7,000 yen including drinks), and there was a private room, so we decided on Grill Ukai＊

➡ <Reserve at Grill Ukai> on Ikkyu＊

<What to Wear for the Face-to-Face Meeting?>

It is typically recommended to wear formal attire for unmarried women, such as a furisode, a houmongi, or a modest knee-length dress.

As we wanted a casual meal format for our face-to-face meeting, I decided to wear a dress instead of a kimono.

I had been thinking for a while, “I want a nice dress that I can wear for several years, even if it’s a bit expensive…” so I purchased a dress from "Yoko Chan"＊

I paired it with pearl earrings given to me by my mother as a coming-of-age gift, and the white dress that Takigawa Christel wore for her marriage announcement to Shinjiro Koizumi (which is said to be a dress that brings good luck for marriage!)

➡ Article about Yoko Chan＊

<What I Communicated to My Parents in Advance>

Before the face-to-face meeting, I communicated the following to our parents＊

・ As mentioned during our visit, the face-to-face meeting will be casual and held at a restaurant.

・ We will not have an engagement ceremony.

・ The name of the restaurant, the nearest station, the time, and the URL were shared via line to each parent.

・ Outfit (I told my mother it would be a casual dress, to avoid any awkwardness if one of us wore a kimono.)

・ No need for gifts (We agreed not to bring gifts to avoid unnecessary outings, as it was during a time when there were requests to refrain from going out due to COVID. If gifts were to be exchanged, I recommended setting a budget.)

・ I explained about the other family in advance (like impressions from our visit and details about siblings).

・ Regarding payment (we informed them that we would cover the costs).

<On the Day of the Face-to-Face Meeting?>

We had the restaurant booked for noon, so we each went directly there. Since we were worried that if we were late, our families may meet first and it might lead to an awkward atmosphere, we decided to arrive early.

Upon arrival, we briefly introduced our families to each other (he introduced his father as "This is my father, XX," and mother as "This is my mother, XX," and I did the same).

He then gave a short greeting and raised a toast.

We spent the meal sharing stories about our childhood and discussing siblings.

At the dessert stage, we took some photos, and his greeting wrapped things up. (He settled the bill before leaving. The total was about 39,000 yen for 6 people, including the 5,440 yen course and each having 1-2 drinks.)

<How was Grill Ukai?>

The course I ordered for the face-to-face meeting was as follows.

We reserved through Ikkyu＊

【Prefix Lunch Course】 5,440 yen

① Amuse

② Appetizer (choice of 4 types)

③ Seasonal soup

④ Main dish (choice of 4 types)

⑤ Dessert (5 types)

⑥ Coffee or tea

➡ <Reserve at Grill Ukai> on Ikkyu＊

Since we could choose the appetizers and main dishes, we started the conversation about “Everything looks delicious!”

The dessert selection was a system where we could choose from several small tarts, puddings, jellies, and chiffon cakes. Our mothers were thrilled, saying “How luxurious!” (They ended up picking all five types!)

The private room was not completely enclosed with a door; it was located at the back of the main dining area and just had a partition. It lacked the overly quiet tension associated with completely private rooms, yet there were no onlookers, making it perfect for a casual face-to-face meeting.

(There are also fully enclosed rooms available at the restaurant, so if you're interested, you can inquire with the staff.)

Each seat was adorned with a beautiful glass decorative plate, and most dishes were served on Royal Copenhagen plates, creating a luxurious atmosphere＊

When making the reservation on Ikkyu, I mentioned that it was for a “face-to-face meeting,” so the staff kindly offered to take our photos at the dessert stage and later printed 3 copies of the pictures taken by the restaurant’s camera, beautifully presented in a mat for both families.

I highly recommend this restaurant for those looking for a casual face-to-face meeting near Tokyo Station＊

The restaurant is located on the second floor of Marunouchi Brick Square, offering a great view of the Mitsubishi Ichigokan Museum right outside the large window.

Downstairs, there's the famous Echire Maison du Beurre known for their butter cakes and financiers (which I bought as gifts for both mothers!), and we walked back through the lush courtyard＊

Wishing You a Wonderful Face-to-Face Meeting♡

I shared with you my

・ How we decided on the date

・ How we chose the place

・ Our outfits

・ What I communicated to my parents beforehand

・ The events of the day

I hope this will help brides who are hoping for a casual face-to-face meeting near Tokyo Station ♩

➡ <Reserve at Grill Ukai> on Ikkyu＊

➡ Here is the full list of face-to-face meeting articles＊