My Brother Got Married During the Pandemic: Here's How the Family Introduction and Greetings Went.

2021.01.28 published

Personal matter.

My brother recently got married.

Just as the discussions about marriage were progressing, it seems they officially registered their marriage the other day, right in the midst of the uproar over the COVID-19 virus.

Normally, I think the order would be to greet and meet face-to-face, but it has been difficult to actually meet and greet in this day and age. When I asked how they handled it, it was quite modern.

I wondered if many brides-to-be across Japan are doing the same thing??? How are they handling it??? So I thought I'd introduce it for reference.

① Reporting "I'm getting married" to my parents via phone.

Once the marriage was decided, each of them contacted their parents and siblings by phone.

Up to this point, it’s the same as usual.

The irregularity comes from the next step, where the families start to interact.

② Greeting the partner's parents via FaceTime.

Originally, it seems they wanted to visit each other's homes in February or March to greet the families about the marriage, but due to requests to refrain from going out, it felt awkward to take the train from Tokyo to meet their parents in their 60s in the countryside... so it was postponed.

Instead, they decided to have a video call and said, "I’m going to marry [partner's name], my name is [your name]. I apologize for greeting you suddenly over video call during such a time, but nice to meet you going forward."

"Greeting the family over video call" is so new and amazing.

Personally, I thought, "Wow, the parents handled that well... (not just in terms of feeling but in how to use it)," but surprisingly, even the older generation seems to be able to handle video calls.

Nowadays, more parents may be using video calls for meetings and conferences, and I've often heard voices like, "Seeing my grandchild's face on LINE video calls is healing," so it seems like the societal barrier to video calls is relatively low.

After that, I'm not sure if they wrote a thank-you letter or anything, but,

There are talks about how an enormous amount of viruses can be attached to objects; especially if a delivery box is contaminated with the coronavirus, it can survive for 24 hours...

So, I think it's better not to send gifts or letters unless absolutely necessary for virus prevention.

Especially since the parents are relatively elderly. The delivery workers have it tough as well.

③ Family introductions were conducted via phone calls between parents.

There was of course no dinner for family introductions.

(The bride's family is in Tokai, while the groom's family is in Kanto. However, I think even between families from Tokyo, they decided against having a dinner.)

I wondered if the bride and groom, the bride's family, and the groom's family would do a group call, but they did not do that; instead, the parents spoke to each other over the phone.

The groom's family informed the bride's family in advance, "We'll call you around this time," and at the designated time, they made the call...

"Hello, I'm [groom's name]'s father, [father's name]. I heard that my son has had the good fortune to be with [bride's name], and we are very happy about it. Please take care of us."

It was something like that, it seems.

④ Submitting the marriage registration at a less busy time.

They submitted the marriage registration at the city hall early in the morning when there were fewer people.

They received their parents' signatures by mail, and for the witness section, they asked a friend who lives nearby.

⑤ The wedding plans are undecided.

After registering their marriage, just when they thought, "Maybe we should go to a bridal fair," the state of emergency was declared.

Since they couldn’t even visit a wedding venue, it seems they still haven’t decided anything about the wedding.

Even if they do have a wedding, it will likely be after next year, and they are unsure whether to go through with it... or rather, there isn’t anything that can be decided right now. (That makes sense...)

I mentioned, "Whether it's next year or the year after, I would love a family ceremony overseas~~♡", but it seems they want a lively ceremony since they have many friends.

They want to have a regular wedding at a domestic venue, so probably it will be after next year...

(I also suggested that if they want to have it soon, there might be plans to have it 3 months after things settle down, which would be quicker and cheaper.)

⑥ Informing relatives by postcard.

Normally, the proper announcements to relatives about "I got married to this person!" would be through wedding invitations and on the wedding day, but given the current circumstances, this isn't feasible.

So, it seems they sent postcards saying "We got married" using a photo of the two of them.

The relatives could see the partner, which would likely make them feel warm and satisfied.

Arrangements for a wedding in the time of COVID-19.

The term "with COVID-19" began with Yoichi Ochiai and spread globally, and it truly reflects the situation we're currently in.

There are things they want to proceed with even amidst the spread of the virus, and by changing the method, it's possible to reduce risks and move forward.

While not everything can return to the way it was "before COVID-19," I felt it’s essential to adapt and not lose sight of the purpose while living, just by observing the flow of my brother’s registration process.

✅ Did you get proposed to, but are unsure how to greet your partner's parents?!

✅ Can't have a face-to-face meeting, what should you do?!

For those feeling anxious, I hope that knowing there are couples who did something like this helps alleviate some of that anxiety or serves as a reference.

Congratulations to everyone getting married♡