In This Ever-Changing World: A Checklist for Couples Planning Their Wedding

2020.05.30 published

To the brides troubled by the coronavirus

Due to the impact of COVID-19, many brides are being forced to postpone or cancel their weddings.

It's not just those who were scheduled to have their ceremonies in March or April; recently, there are also those planning weddings in the fall or winter, or those who may need to postpone their already postponed weddings even further.

Even if the stay-at-home order is lifted on May 6, what happens afterward is still uncertain, and there are discussions about extending the period.

This is indeed a difficult issue, but is there anything brides can do during this timeframe...??

≪With Corona≫ We have heard what couples are considering

The community service SUEHIRO, which works within the wedding industry, has published a "Checklist for Couples to Consider" that includes:

▶ When would be the best time to decide to hold or postpone the wedding?

▶ What are the options available?

▶ To what extent do we need to change what we had originally envisioned to feel satisfied?

▶ What points should we be careful about in our correspondence with the wedding venue and various contractors?

It is organized in a clear and concrete manner according to different cases.

We at marry will also share this content.

[First] Words from the SUEHIRO representative

This guideline allows couples to confirm what they can do during this period. Before consulting with a representative, we hope to provide couples with the opportunity to organize information on their own.

We often hear discussions that lead many to be trapped in the binary choice of "hold the wedding" or "postpone the wedding."

However, we believe there are many suitable compromises for you that range from zero to one hundred.

A TODO list to find those methods. Please make effective use of it.

【STEP 1】 Take your time to discuss and think about what you want.

First, let's talk about what to do regarding your wedding.

CASE 1: "Postpone and hold the venue and content as planned"

〜 This method is to change only the date while keeping the planned number of attendees and venue unchanged, shifting the event to a future date. 〜

The advantage is that it assumes holding the wedding as originally envisioned without changing the content. However, if you postpone to a different season than originally booked, there may be limitations on possible performances, so be careful.

Additionally, changing to a date a year later may incur change fees. It's important to consider whether postponing will help maintain your motivation.

CASE 2: "Change the scale & content, and hold on the current date"

〜 For example, changing the ceremony and reception to just family, a ceremony just for the couple, or doing a photo wedding... this method focuses on changing the wedding content while keeping the original date. 〜

If you are determined to hold it this year, have a strong preference for the date, or find it difficult to make a postponement decision due to work, changing the content while taking infection prevention measures could be one option.

Carefully compare the concerns arising from postponement with the risks of holding it to determine which option provides greater satisfaction for both of you.

CASE 3: "Continue preparations while observing the situation"

〜 This method involves evaluating whether to hold the event at the last minute while continuing to prepare based on the reserved venue, date, and content. 〜

If you plan to hold the wedding at a date further out, like in the fall, you could consider delaying the decision to postpone or cancel while gradually moving forward with the preparations that can be done now.

Since there are still many unknowns about the virus, it's also an option to focus on the preparations you can handle without worrying too much.

In that case, you should confirm the cancellation fees presented by the venue as a reference, and decide on a conclusion by a certain date (the latest date that minimizes cancellation fees).

It might be considerate to inform your guests that you are observing the situation.

CASE 4: "Change the date, scale, and content, and start anew"

〜 This method involves canceling the reserved venue and re-evaluating the content, timing, and venue to find a new place or production company. 〜

If you feel that something isn't going as planned or foresee that possibility, consider restarting the venue search.

You might find better satisfaction with the content based on your current hopes. However, since cancellation fees may arise, it’s advisable to discuss it thoroughly with each other.

CASE 5: "Cancel the wedding"

〜 This method cancels the planned date, venue, and content, returning to square one. 〜

When canceling, the cancellation fees are generally higher than if postponing. If you reach a decision to cancel after discussion, it's best if both of you are satisfied with the outcome and have thoroughly consulted with both families.

* For important notes on holding weddings with COVID-19, please refer to the "Wedding Guidelines Q&A for COVID-19".

【STEP 2-1】 Organize what to do with contractors

Next, let’s move on to the section on what to do concerning contractors (hotels, wedding venues, production companies, reception venues, freelance wedding planners, etc.).

First, list things that are absolutely non-negotiable in holding the wedding and prioritize them for discussion.

Changing a previously decided date, venue, or plan inevitably leads to doubts about your judgments. Clarifying the high-priority items will make decision-making easier.

(Examples: I absolutely want Mr. ○○ to attend. I want to postpone to a date when I can wear ○○’s attire, etc.)

LIST 1: Recheck the terms and conditions of each contractor like the wedding venue or production company

☑ Read through the clauses regarding date changes and cancellations thoroughly.

☑ Confirm the clauses regarding change fees/cancellation fees.

◆ POINT

Regardless of whether you will change the date or content, it’s a good idea to revisit the terms given the current situation.

LIST 2: Contact each contractor to inform them you’re considering a date change/cancellation

After reading the terms, consult based on the assumption concerning exceptional situations due to COVID-19.

☑ Confirm how cancellation/change fees may vary depending on when you make a decision (meaning when you decide will result in the lowest fees, etc.).

☑ Confirm the deadline by which you need to finalize any changes (e.g., contact must be made at least three months before the desired wedding date).

◆ POINT

It’s possible that terms differ between the venue’s clauses and those for items like attire or various orders.

Moreover, if different family members request different attires, terms may be set separately in another agreement. Confirm which terms will be the basis for calculating cancellation fees.

Typical model clauses show that a cancellation fee of 20% occurs upon cancellation more than 149 days prior, so keep that timing in mind.

☑ Check if changing the date brings conditions that can no longer be applied.

(e.g., whether the special offer applies to rearranged dates, whether the rental time changes, etc.)

☑ Confirm the procedure for finalizing changes.

(By phone, email, signing proof of changes, or once cancellation fees are paid, etc.)

◆ POINT

When changing the date, there may be instances where venues accept indefinite dates or require confirmation of a new date in exchange for postponement.

There might also be conditions that allow for cancel-free reservations only up to ○ months in advance. It’s a good idea to check the contractor’s conditions closely before deciding.

☑ Confirm how many times postponement (date change) is allowable.

(e.g., is it possible to initially change a wedding from May to October and then reassess due to social conditions?)

☑ If you are scaling down the wedding number significantly while keeping the original date, check for items that may incur change/cancellation fees.

(e.g., while you were planning for 80 guests, if you are reducing it to just family, check the last possible date to change the number of meals and gifts, etc.)

◆ POINT

When holding a wedding at a shrine or similar venue, be aware of seasons when events may not be available for use. It’s a good idea to check in detail.

When receiving explanations regarding cancellation fees or special exceptions due to COVID-19, it is advisable to maintain some written evidence of what was discussed (like a document or email). Request the venue to issue written confirmation on this.

LIST 3: List of item inquiry contacts

☑ Write down items arranged by the venue and those arranged personally.

☑ For personally arranged items, list the contacts and points of contact.

(e.g., attire, gifts, photographers that you arranged yourself).

LIST 4: Confirm the change and cancellation rules for items

☑ If preparations for invitations have already begun, confirm how long you can wait before starting printing.

☑ For items arranged by the venue, have the planner confirm the change/cancellation rules.

(Since when arranged by the venue, they often handle change/cancellation procedures).

☑ For personally arranged items, inquire with your point of contact about their change/cancellation fees.

◆ POINT

If you have already booked attire, there may be instances when the attire is not available on the postponed dates. Couples with strong feelings about their attire should check availability and make comprehensive judgments based on that information.

【STEP 2-2】 Organize what to do for guests

Next, we'll introduce what the newlyweds need to communicate to the guests.

LIST 1: Inform guests of the current status of the wedding (holding, postponement, cancellation, or wanting to observe a bit longer)

☑ Communicate your current thoughts clearly.

☑ If a new date is not yet set for postponement, inform them you'll provide details as soon as it’s established.

☑ If proceeding, inform them of measures being taken for infection prevention.

◆ POINT

It can be difficult for guests to inquire about the status of the wedding.

By proactively informing guests about the preventive measures you’re considering, they'll surely feel reassured.

When a new date is determined, discuss with both families whether to send out new invitations.

LIST 2: Check the option for changes or cancellation fees related to transportation and accommodation

☑ List out the transportation arrangements and accommodations for both the couple and the guests.

☑ Confirm cancellation and change policies and deadlines.

◆ POINT

Be mindful of structuring your message with a clear beginning, development, twist, and ending.

[Example Text]

1. "Beginning = Inform about the situation"

We hope everyone is doing well. We are reaching out today with an important update regarding our wedding planned for ○ month ○ day. Due to the ongoing impact of COVID-19, we have decided to change the date. We sincerely apologize to everyone who had planned to attend.

2. "Development = Explain how this conclusion was reached"

After discussing thoroughly, we arrived at this decision so that everyone can feel safe and truly enjoy the event.

As for the new date, we are currently planning for ○ month ○ day (or "While the date is not yet confirmed, we’re considering sometime next year” etc. for future plans).

3. "Twist = A part that expresses your feelings. Being sincere will convey your thoughts."

We were both looking forward to spending this day with everyone, but at this moment, we want to take a step back and prepare everything together anew.

If your schedules allow, we would greatly appreciate your presence.

4. "Ending = Including words that show consideration for the other party is a good idea"

We apologize for reaching out in this manner.

As details are finalized, we will be sure to contact you again. We hope you're managing well under these challenging times and taking care of yourselves.

Please take care of your health.

Thank you for your continued support.

[Question]

Q. Should a new invitation be sent when the date is changed?

A. There are many forms of communication available today, including letters, postcards, emails, and LINE messaging. There is no strict rule that dictates, "This is the only acceptable method."

Since this is an urgent message, consider being flexible with your communication method.

It might be beneficial to think about which method will be easiest for guests to receive (consult with your parents about this as well).

* Consider what to do in case of emergencies.

~ In the event that the state of emergency is extended or higher-level measures are adopted, resulting in the venue becoming unavailable, what should be done? ~

In cases where venues cannot be used due to reasons not attributable to their responsibilities, there may be provisions allowing the venue to propose cancellation to customers. The Ministry of Justice has made the following recommendations:

"Regarding whether cancellation fees must be paid when canceling weddings or events due to the COVID-19 outbreak, it depends on the contractual terms regarding cancellation fees.

It is crucial for those considering cancellation or those whose events have been canceled to reconfirm how cancellation fees or the return of deposits will be handled with the respective service providers."

Check whether there are clauses regarding the above scenarios in the agreements, as well as what methods will be employed in such instances.

To make the time leading up to the wedding more enjoyable*

~ As you both ponder and deliberate, let's remember three things to cherish this time so that you can have a joyful wedding day. ~

1. Let’s make this a time to strengthen your bond.

Having thorough discussions and sharing each other's feelings takes a lot of energy, but it is also an excellent opportunity to truly understand one another.

Life is like completing a painting over a long period.

Married life is like a project where the couple works together to further develop that painting. Focus on the future beyond the wedding. May you both share and deepen your values, feelings, and bond during this special time.

2. Trust each other at all times and "be confident in the conclusion you both reached."

Events far more challenging than this may occur during your long married life ahead.

What is essential for couples at all times is to "decide together, take action, and be prepared."

Acting on the conclusions you've reached together, with mutual understanding, is the secret to successfully running your team as a couple.

It's perfectly okay to be proud of the decisions you've made! Many supporters will likely cheer for your resolve.

3. Find "fun preparations for the wedding" that you can do now.

Documenting the preparations together through photos and videos can create wonderful memories, writing carefully prepared letters to each guest, or even creating a body care plan for looking gorgeous in your wedding attire.

Consider choosing the BGM or selecting gifts... making gradual progress in your preparations can also be a great way to move forward.

The "preparation period for the wedding" where you are mindful of each other, think of your guests, and reflect on your past life is a precious and limited moment in life.

This time often passes by too quickly, but may you take the opportunity to enjoy this special time just a little longer.

Regarding "COVID-19 Wedding Guidelines vol.2"

Initiators: SUEHIRO / REXIT

Supervised by: WEDDING LAPPLE / REVE&Co. / Coco style WEDDING

Collaborators: Producer's Wedding / First Film / Azul Wedding / CANOW

Design: Shiori Graphic

EMAIL / info@suehironet.com

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