"Life is Different for Everyone! Exploring Unique Reasons for Getting Married Beyond Tradition"

2024.03.22 published

What was the trigger for your marriage???

Hello, I'm Haruno Tsuzaki, the editor-in-chief of marry ♡

Recently, I received a question from one of marry's followers＊

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Recently, a friend's marriage was suddenly decided.

I had a boyfriend with whom I was living together, and when I asked him about it, he said,

"In order to adopt a rescue cat, we need to be married instead of just a couple, so we've decided to get registered."

It made me realize that there are many different triggers for marriage.

If you can, please share with us any unique (?) reasons for marriage you know of other than

"I got proposed to" or "I wanted to marry because I love them" ♡

(I plan to show this to my boyfriend to subtly make him think about marriage, lol)

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That’s true.

I hear that in modern times, half of the people propose while the other half get married without a proposal.

When someone is proposed to, the conversation naturally progresses to, "Let's get married!"

But what about the others? How do they initiate conversations about marriage...??

It's really intriguing to know what kind of triggers led them to register their marriage.

I asked marry's followers this question on Instagram＊

Here are all the responses we received.

Unique Triggers for Marriage 1

We wanted to get a dog, decided to build a house, and then said, "Let's get married!" 🤍 (laughs)

Unique Triggers for Marriage 2

This is a friend's story, but her boyfriend said if he lent her 200,000 yen for car modifications, they could have a wedding.

So, she filled out the marriage registration in exchange for cash and got married 😂

I wondered, "Is that okay??" while signing as a witness, but they're happy, so that’s what matters 😅💝

Unique Triggers for Marriage 3

I was proposed to after three months of dating.

I work in apparel and have a full-time job that requires relocation nationwide. When I told him there was talk of a promotion and a possible transfer to Tokyo (in six months), he proposed the following month.

(If we get engaged or married, I'll have a position without relocation!)

Unique Triggers for Marriage 4

We had been dating with the premise of marriage from the beginning, and just before our five-year anniversary, we visited a venue to get a specific estimate for the wedding. At that venue, they offered a 500,000 yen discount for signing the contract on the spot, and even though I hadn't been proposed to yet, we ended up signing the contract 😂

After that, he proposed, and I introduced him to my parents.

Even though we were originally planning to get married and had met my parents multiple times,

- We decided to get married before the proposal.

- I wanted to see what kind of venue we would have together.

- I shared this with him a week after telling my parents about our engagement, so I hid the fact that we had already chosen the venue during the introduction.

This led to issues, and I had a tough time... 😥

The atmosphere was terrible at that moment, but just thinking back on it makes my stomach hurt 😂😂

Unique Triggers for Marriage 5

It may not sound too unique, but I got married without ever having been proposed to. We weren't living together either.

In my case, we fought at a local café, and during the discussion to make up, he suddenly said, "Let's go buy a ring. Where should we go?" in a sulky manner. At the time, I was frustrated because I didn't want to casually go buy an engagement ring lol.

We suddenly ended up going to a certain jewelry store in my worn-out sneakers, which was embarrassing then, but now it's a nice memory after five years.

They suggested that if we bought the engagement ring, we would also get the wedding bands for free, which led to us buying the wedding rings as well. I hope everything goes well with your boyfriend.

Unique Triggers for Marriage 6

Before getting married, I went to a fortune teller renowned for being accurate with friends, and what the fortune teller wrote down was later discovered by him in our room (laughs).

He read things like, "Your current boyfriend is shy, so give up on a romantic proposal," (laughs) and "You will marry your current boyfriend" or "You will have a child in the not-so-distant future."

When I explained, "We've been dating for a while, and I was curious about our future," he started saying, "Marriage, huh? That makes sense," and the following week he said, "Shall we get married? (laughs)"

Can I say the fortune-telling was accurate? (laughs) But I'm really grateful that it gave us a trigger.

Unique Triggers for Marriage 7

Because his company doesn't allow living together unless you're married (the dormitory has a strict no opposite-sex rule) and on top of that, because we had a long-distance relationship between Tokyo and Kagoshima, we decided to get married!! 🤣

Unique Triggers for Marriage 8

We met on a dating app and got married after a year and a half.

From the time we met on the app until we began dating, we talked in detail about marriage and our futures, confirming each other's personalities, thoughts, and values before we officially started dating!

After a year of dating, we started living together, and since we had planned to have dinner with our families during the upcoming New Year, I thought it would be nice to announce our engagement then.

So, we talked about how we were dating with the intention of marriage, living together, and wanting kids soon, so we discussed why we should postpone marriage, leading to our decision.

Sometimes, I think it’s good for girls to take the initiative too ❤ (laughs)

Unique Triggers for Marriage 9

My husband got an unexpected job transfer, and he said if there was going to be a transfer, he would rather stay in Osaka and switch jobs.

We had just started dating, but I said, "If that's the case, I'm going with you!" and we both moved to a place we knew nothing about 💦

We registered our marriage on our six-month dating anniversary, as we lived together for the first year... life is unpredictable! (laughs)

Unique Triggers for Marriage 10

I won a "Lucky Plan for a wedding at a fair" that gives specific couples a chance to have a discounted wedding, which motivated us to decide on having a wedding 😂

Unique Triggers for Marriage 11

Due to the timing for renewing our lease, we ended up living together, but his parents were absolutely against unmarried couples cohabitating! So we decided to get registered.

Unique Triggers for Marriage 12

My friend suddenly got married because her husband said, "It's easier to rent a property with a spouse during work."

I was really surprised because my friend had never shown interest in marriage, but they always looked happy and close♪

Unique Triggers for Marriage 13

Every year, my boyfriend stood in line with friends to buy local specialty lucky bags (where you might win TVs or home appliances).

He said he wanted to spend New Year's together after we got married, so I thought that was a kind of proposal and we decided to get married! (laughs)

Unique Triggers for Marriage 14

After more than ten years, my childhood friend contacted me out of the blue and asked, "I dreamt of us getting married, so will you marry me?" despite the fact that we weren’t even dating. We actually ended up marrying.

Unique Triggers for Marriage 15

Here’s how I decided to get married.

Back when I was dating my now-husband, I hardly ever went home (only to eat and take a bath) and spent most of my time at his house (still living with his parents). I work a rotational shift, so I hardly had time at home except for nights or mornings when I had the night shift.

At that time, my mother got upset having seen me and ended up in a fight, resulting in me leaving home and fully living with my husband.

Looking back, it was thoughtless, and I’m grateful to my husband’s parents for their forgiveness. 😢 My brother told me it wasn't right to drag things out and to make it clear whether we would register or not. He then proposed, leading to our marriage.

We were initially planning to get married anyway, and I thought it would be in about a year, but it was more of a nudge from my brother that led to the marriage. (laughs)

I later apologized to my mother, and we managed to rebuild a good relationship.

Unique Triggers for Marriage 16

I recently got registered myself after dating for eight years, including two years of living together! It honestly got a bit lax from our side, but it happened that we both started being asked by friends and family if we were ever going to get married 😨

That prompted us to have detailed conversations about what we wanted for our future and if we wanted kids, and although there was some compromise from both sides, we reached a mutual understanding and got married. ✨

I wish you progress in your situation!

Unique Triggers for Marriage 17

Our reason for getting married was:

1. My company’s dormitory was no longer available, and I was ordered to relocate.

2. I was adamant that I didn’t want to move out for living alone!

3. We looked at a variety of shared living options, and concluded that the family housing provided by his company was the most economical choice.

4. Since it was family housing, we needed to register our marriage to live there.

So, it became a rather bureaucratic reason for our marriage 🥺 (laughs)

Unique Triggers for Marriage 18

I wanted to register my marriage before the tax increase! A month after we started dating, I decided to go meet both families for greetings!

After over two years, we built an amazing house last year!

Unique Triggers for Marriage 19

I got married because I wanted to live together with him!

(My parent’s condition was that if we were to live together, we needed to be married)

Unique Triggers for Marriage 20

I got married following the issuance of a passport! (laughs)

I thought it would be troublesome to change my surname just a few years after getting a ten-year passport.

Unique Triggers for Marriage 21

My husband got transferred to America, and he asked me to accompany him, which triggered our marriage ✈️❣️

Unique Triggers for Marriage 22

I thought there wouldn't be a chance for me to move out if I continued to work single at the company I joined straight out of college. So, since I was dating someone from my student days, I got married on our five-year anniversary!

Unique Triggers for Marriage 23

I had a shotgun wedding!

We were semi-living together, but at the time, we were not officially dating, so there was quite a bit of conflict involving our parents. However, now our second child is one year old, and we'll be celebrating three years next month 💗

Unique Triggers for Marriage 24

Because we decided on a venue! 💒

We chose the venue at a Bridal Fair during a date 🤣🤣

Unique Triggers for Marriage 25

In my case, it was when my parents said, "It’s about time you introduced us to your boyfriend," and once that happened, everything progressed quickly!

Meeting the parents takes a certain commitment, and I think it showed my boyfriend that I was serious about our intentions.

So I told my parents it was with the intention of getting married, and there wasn't really a formal proposal. Instead, it felt more like I proposed to my parents (laughs).

At that time, I was sometimes anxious because I didn't know how my boyfriend felt or what he was planning for the future, but it became a delightful trigger to know he was seriously considering marriage...

Unique Triggers for Marriage 26

My hospital changed its working hours, leading to a possible salary reduction, and when I said, "If my salary drops, I might go back to my parents' house," we ended up getting married. (laughs)

Unique Triggers for Marriage 27

This is a story about my parents. (laughs)

I intended to have them oppose the marriage by saying, "I won't let you marry someone like him!" but because I opposed them so early, they ended up supporting it instead.

My mom thought that if the parents said something, it could easily end, considering my father had some personality issues (he was my mother's boyfriend at the time), so she was hoping the parents would take charge! (laughs)

In that era, it wasn't possible to cancel at the last minute, and they ended up marrying as planned.

Unique Triggers for Marriage 28

🙋‍♀️(27)🙋‍♂️(25) We decided to marry after 1 year and 3 months of dating 💍

Initially, we both lived at home, about a 10-minute drive apart.

My father was strict and didn’t even know I had a boyfriend, but because of COVID, since the state of emergency made it difficult to go out, we could only spend one hour together walking. 😂

Even after the state of emergency was lifted, we couldn’t dine out, so we couldn’t spend much quality time together.

In August, we went on a one-night trip (we ultimately made it, laugh) and coming back in the car, I felt a huge sense of missing him and unwittingly said, "I want to live together."

To my surprise, he replied, "I thought the same! I just wasn’t sure when would be the right time to say it!"

From there, we started moving towards living together. ◎

Before even asking for permission, his family was already supportive, and my mother was also on board, but my father, who didn’t know about my boyfriend, had the mindset that "living together before marriage is not acceptable 😕."

Before he came to ask, I told my father that I have a partner of one year and wanted to live together.

I let him know that I needed to convey that this would be a cohabitation based on the premise of marriage to get the permission on the day of his introduction.

My father was surprised when he saw him in a suit!

We talked about various things, and then suddenly my father asked, "So, what’s next?"

He stepped up and said, "Since we’ve been dating with the intention of marriage since last year (2019), and are entering the second year of our relationship (in 2021), we'd like to register our marriage and would like to start living together.

Since this was the first I had heard of discussing registering our marriage for the second year (laughs), I was like, "Huh?! Really?!"

I could only nod along beside him (laughs).

We started living together last year and are set to register our marriage this year.

We hadn't talked about marriage until then, so I was surprised at how smoothly everything progressed.

I hope that a trigger leads you to decide on marriage too! ♡

Unique Triggers for Marriage 29

My hospitalization was the trigger! ☻

He said that living apart made him realize that if something happened, he wouldn’t be the first to help me! That made him decide to marry. ✨

I felt bad for worrying him, but I remember being really happy.

Unique Triggers for Marriage 30

A month after breaking up with my boyfriend, I was assigned to a new job out of state.

When I told him about it, he said, "I want you to date me again with the intention of marriage. If you're moving to a unfamiliar place, I want to support you as an engaged partner." So we got back together 💍 (laughs)

We are considering registering next year due to COVID and the distance between us, but we plan to meet in April 🤗

For every couple, there’s a unique reason for marriage♡

Listening to everyone’s stories made me realize that there really are many different triggers for marriage!

Like "I dreamt about it!" or "Because we couldn’t see each other due to COVID."

Or, "If you pay for car modifications..."!

Just like a box of chocolates, life is unpredictable until you open it... which is a famous saying, and it's absolutely true.

I hope each person's life is filled with excitement, nervousness, and a peaceful happiness! ♡

@ds_wedding2021