"Seemingly Polite, Yet Lacking Substance: Examples of 'Incorrectly Elegant Language' Encountered on Social Media"

2021.10.06 published

I Want to Be Careful of Incorrect Language Use...!

In both work and private life, as well as in social media posts, using correct language is very important.

If you use incorrect language, it is often difficult to convey your intentions accurately to the other person.

I want to be mindful and take responsibility for the words I speak, and I strive to avoid incorrect usage...

However, a common trait among us Japanese is being overly polite to avoid giving the impression of being disrespectful or arrogant.

Celebrities often say things like:

"I would like to report to you"

"I will do my best"

"We have gotten married"

"I will perform, I will sing"

They often overuse the phrase "sase te itadaku," which has been pointed out as excessive humility and can feel strange...

(There are terms like Family Restaurant Keigo and Part-Time Job Keigo as well.)

Indeed, on social media where we frequently communicate, there are many instances of overuse of humble language, incorrect use of honorifics, and seemingly polite but actually incorrect expressions...!

Moreover, when such language mistakes occur, even if the listener finds it awkward, they usually don’t go out of their way to point it out to others. This can create a negative cycle where the person continues to misuse the language regardless of their age.

In this article, with a sense of self-reflection,

I summarized some "sounds elegant but is actually incorrect or awkward language" that brides should be careful about when posting on social media.

① When I Went for a Fitting

I've seen posts from brides about dress fittings that say, "This is a photo from when I went for a fitting."

This is simply a misuse of the honorific prefix "go."

Attaching "go" to one's own actions is fundamentally not acceptable, with some exceptions (like "go hōkoku itashimasu," "go setsumei itashimasu," which have a meaning of humility).

In this case, since the one trying on the dress is the individual, it is unnatural to add "go."

It might be the case that they have merely repeated what the shop staff said as "go shichaku," but when prefixing "go" to a word, one should always consider who the subject is.

② I Will Refer to It

On social media, which serves as a place for information exchange, it's common to see something you like and want to mimic or reference it.

I find the phrase "I will refer to it" in the comments awkward.

The reason is the misuse of "go" mentioned earlier.

It is strange to add "go," which elevates one's own actions, when referring to someone else's work.

(As a side note)

The phrase "I will refer to it" can also be considered rude depending on the situation when used in a business context with superiors.

When receiving advice from a superior, responding with "I will refer to it" may be interpreted as "I'll just hear you out," creating a sense of indifference towards their advice as if "I may use it as a reference, but I’m not sure if I'll accept it."

(I feel like I rarely hear "I will refer to it"... “I learned something!” makes more sense!)

Sometimes, I also see phrases like "Please let me know for reference!" or "I want to ask just for reference....," but using expressions like "for reference" in a dismissive manner when receiving information can also be seen as rude.

(It gives off an impression that the information is being taken lightly...)

③ Purchased

I was confused when I saw a post saying, "I purchased wedding accessories at this store♡."

The phrase "o-kai ni naru" is a respectful term for "buy."

At this point, it is clear that using respectful language towards oneself is wrong.

Additionally, "motomeru" used here is an indirect expression avoiding the direct phrase for "buying." It does not imply that one has invoked the request.

The correct expression is when the store says, "Please feel free to purchase," or "The customer has purchased..." and there is no occasion for the customer to use it.

④ My Husband Did ○○ for Me♡

Posts like "My husband gave me a bouquet♡," "He did ○○ for me♡," "He proposed to me♡" convey a lovely, loving atmosphere, but in terms of Japanese language usage, it might be better to be cautious.

Many people may feel discomfort in overly using respectful language toward one’s family members.

(For example, it might be acceptable when speaking to the husband’s parents or relatives, depending on the situation...)

Furthermore, one might wonder about the power dynamics at play when using such honorifics... It may not actually come across as elegant.

⑤ I Have Nothing But Gratitude

"I have nothing but gratitude for him"

"I am grateful for the planner who supported me"

"I'm so thankful for ○○-chan; she's just too kind!"

Many people might use these phrases, thinking they’re common, but they are actually technically incorrect.

The reason is that the usage of "shikatanai" is a negative expression used in contexts that have undesirable meanings.

For example, "I have no choice but to do this now," "I have no option but to quit my job...," "I can only speak Japanese."

Therefore, using it to express positive gratitude here is incorrect.

Experts and language teachers suggest that the polite (correct) expression "I have no words of gratitude" has been rephrased to "I have nothing but gratitude" and has since become widely used.

While the meaning is conveyed, it is incorrect Japanese, and I want to use it carefully going forward.

⑥ I Was Selected

"I was selected for ○○'s gift campaign!"

Have you ever seen posts like this...?

In the world of social media where multiple campaigns and giveaways happen daily, some may have gotten used to it, but this expression is still awkward.

"Sase te itadaku" is used when receiving permission or consent to perform an action.

In this case, being selected is not due to any action taken by oneself. Moreover, writing "I was allowed to be selected" might lead one to think, “Are you connected behind the scenes? Is it out of consideration?” It sounds more natural to simply say, "I was selected."

This is a clear example of how using excessive honorifics in an attempt to be humble can give an impression of immaturity.

⑦ (By the way)

In other examples, I’ve seen people misusing "Osore mo desu," which indicates humility when receiving a compliment, saying, "No, not at all, it’s truly terrifying!"

I wonder if they just memorized it due to the similar sound, and I realize I need to be careful too.

Also, regarding the phrase "honma" used in Kansai dialect when referring to something,

Many people express it in kanji as "本間," but the kanji "本間" does not mean "really,” so it’s better to use hiragana.

Additionally, when posting on Instagram, attaching "o" in front of one's own photo, talking about "This photo is…" is also seen as too exaggerated toward oneself and carries a negative connotation.

(Isn't this quite common?)

I Want to Be Careful of Incorrect Elegant Language!

What and how to write on social media is free and reflects one’s individuality. Choosing language is, of course, a personal decision.

However, using incorrect honorifics and language forms in an effort to appear elegant can actually backfire, so if it contradicts your intentions, it would be better to correct it.

With this in mind, I want to consciously use Japanese correctly every day.