More Important than the Beginnings or Photos! What Should Be Included in the Family Meeting Brochure Are Actually the Ages, Occupations, and Addresses of Both Families.

2022.09.20 published

It's Better to Create a Family Meeting Pamphlet!

The family meeting is the first occasion where both families get together to greet each other after the wedding has been decided.

Regarding the meal gathering, one thing that the bride and groom should definitely do is create a "family meeting pamphlet."

- Opening greetings

- Profiles of the couple

- Family structure

- Story of the couple and photos

- Upcoming schedule such as the submission date of the marriage registration and wedding plans

- Closing greetings

Generally, including these basic items and making it into a handmade booklet of about 4 to 8 pages is standard practice.

It's Better to Include More Personal Information!

I also have a family meeting coming up.

I thought, "It’s said that a pamphlet helps the conversation flow; it's better than not having one," so I was planning to create a lighthearted pamphlet with such a structure...

When I mentioned this, a senior from marry who is already married gave me this advice.

"Having a pamphlet will help the conversation flow. Without it, I think people won't be able to say anything! It's good to include not just information about the couple but also family structure, job details, ages, and other information that might be difficult to ask face-to-face!"

"For older folks, some express their age by the zodiac sign, but they might not tell you directly, so there’s a chance we might misinterpret their age by 12 years or so..."

"I thought personal information sheets were an outdated custom, but they are actually very rational."

And so on...

Indeed, while it’s acceptable to ask, "What kind of work do you do?" direct questions like "Where do you work? What department do you work in?" might feel awkward...

There are also other things like ages and whether grandparents are alive.

Since they will become family, it’s only natural to be curious, but overly direct questions can come off as prying and might feel a bit inappropriate, especially at a formal meal gathering.

Moreover, even if you hear something during the conversation, it’s easy to forget details later, like what station is closest or the company name, especially if you are unfamiliar with them. Asking the same question a second time feels uncomfortable.

Therefore, it might be a good idea to include the "more private information" that both families are likely to be curious about right from the start in the pamphlet!

It shows that "It's okay to talk about this; feel free to ask," which can lead to genuine interest in conversation and allows for smoother dialogue without seeming intrusive.

For Example*

I’ve compiled a list of useful things to include in the family meeting pamphlet.

【📑】Names and phonetic readings of all family members

Especially those kanji characters that have multiple pronunciation patterns.

【📑】Birth dates and ages of all family members

Including ages makes it easy to understand at a glance.

Knowing birthdays may be useful for sending future birthday messages or gifts (it’s good to remember milestone ages like 60 or 70, even if it’s not every year).

【📑】Company names, professions, and job types for all family members

It's natural to know where family works and what they do, right...? Whether they are in sales, development, or management, and if they have relocations...

It might even be troublesome if you don’t know, but asking directly can feel rude, so it’s helpful to proactively share this information.

The same goes for educational background.

【📑】Don't forget about in-laws. If they have children, it would also be good to know how many and where they live.

【📑】Address of the parents' home and nearest station

Including specifics like "a x-minute walk from xx station" can lead to discussions about the area.

【📑】Parents' phone numbers (parent's mobile) or LINE IDs

Think of it as a contact network!

【📑】The year the parents got married

(This could help in celebrating their 30th or 40th wedding anniversary later on. It’s likely to be forgotten if asked verbally multiple times, especially by the groom, who may not usually keep track of such things.)

【📑】Are the grandparents alive?

【📑】Where the grandparents’ houses are located (this can reveal the parents' origins)

Without including the full address, noting the prefecture and city would be good.

【📑】Information on cousins and relatives

Knowing how many cousins there are and where relatives live can be helpful. It could lead to discussions around how many relatives will attend the wedding.

【📑】Family tree

If available and if you can create it, including the family tree can help organize the information well.

【📑】History of moves or relocations

Particularly important if they are a family that moves often.

Creating a timeline of where and from what age they lived where can help avoid confusion in conversations.

It Looks Like It Would Be a Comprehensive Family Meeting Pamphlet.

There are many things you can only find out by asking your parents, so it may be a bit of a hassle to create...

However, if you can indeed share this amount of information, it would clarify things about each other, leading to the perception of being a good daughter-in-law or responsible person.

This can help in establishing a trusting relationship between the two families and further instill reassurance.

From this list, pick out what you want to convey and what your parents might be curious about,

And please try to create a pamphlet that can serve as a family book for the future rather than just a one-time paper item!*

@mm_bride_