A friend who chose to take her husband's surname. She explained the reason in her wedding letter, and as a guest, it resonated with me.

2023.01.27 published

A Couple Who Chose the Woman's Surname

Recently, I attended a friend's wedding.

It was a ceremony in a public setting, and when the bride and groom declared their vows...

I noticed that the groom's surname had changed to the bride's surname, and I thought, "Oh, they chose the woman's surname."

As a rule, after marriage, either surname can be adopted, but it’s still relatively rare for a man to take his wife's surname, and it remains uncommon.

So from a guest's perspective, I was a bit curious about:

- The reason for choosing the woman's surname

- Who wanted it

- The parents' reactions

These questions lingered in my mind a little.

(At the time the invitation arrived, it seemed they hadn't registered their marriage yet, so it came under their individual names, and I didn’t know anything.)

The Bride's Letter at the End Addressed My Questions

The reasons and background for choosing the woman’s surname.

I was curious but couldn't really ask during the wedding ceremony. (I planned to ask the bride's friend when we met privately later...)

However, during the climax of the reception, when the bride read her letter, she addressed that question herself.

At the end of her letter, when she spoke to her in-laws, she said:

“Regarding our marriage, I wanted to keep my surname, and I first consulted with Mr. ○○ (the groom's name), and we decided on the surname together.

When we visited my family to announce our marriage, I think they were quite surprised. But they accepted it right away and acknowledged it, and I am truly grateful for that.”

She shared this story.

It became clear that the bride's hope was to choose the woman's surname, and her partner's parents readily accepted that, which made sense to me.

Providing Background Explanation Might Be Kind

So, in cases like this where the couple makes a choice that is generally less common, such as “taking the woman’s surname,”

Guests may be curious about the reasoning, so if it’s not something to hide, it would be perfectly fine to prominently share that explanation.

Including the reasons and background in the bride's letter, the groom's speech, or remarks is a good thing and could be considerate!

It also helps avoid unnecessary speculation!