Wedding costs. We were supposed to split the expenses, but after the ceremony, the groom told me, "The dress was expensive. I don't want to pay."...!

2023.09.07 published

Are Couples Arguing Over the Division of Wedding Costs?

We received a consultation from one of our followers on Instagram.

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I got married last month!

When we decided to have a wedding, we agreed that "the costs would be split evenly," but even after the wedding, he still hasn’t paid his share.

(I am currently covering the entire amount.)

After the wedding, when we looked at the actual expenses, he realized that my wedding attire and hair/makeup costs were higher than his. He then said, "Let’s settle this with actual costs after all."

(The guest ratio was about the same.)

I said, "What? We agreed to split it!" and this turned into an unproductive debate, making it hard to come to a conclusion afterward…

We received money from both sets of parents for the wedding expenses, but I received more from my family.

Isn’t he being unreasonable???

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What do you all think???

I have asked for opinions and experiences on my story.

Here are all the responses we received.

Response 1

My partner was similar!

I apologize for just venting my feelings instead of offering solutions or suggestions.

Those types of people can be summed up in one word: stingy, right? 😢

In my case, my partner wasn't particularly enthusiastic about the wedding and had a passive attitude, saying "You can do what you want," which left me with no support or one to consult with, and I ended up doing almost all of the preparations on my own.

All he did for the wedding was try on his tuxedo and write a message for his side's seating cards the day before. 😂

But once the actual day came, he enjoyed it a lot. He was so happy and said, "I'm glad we had the wedding!"

Because he was like that, I was really happy too—I reflected on how well I’d prepared while looking at photos and videos, feeling joyous. ☺️

And then.

When it came time to request payment, he said, "Do I also have to cover any of your dress costs??" and I was truly disheartened.

I already knew he was stingy, and it was my decision to marry him.

Yet, I had been diligently researching and preparing during my commute and after work, worked hard on dieting and beauty to look good, and handled communications with the venue and vendors, as well as messaging guests.

For me, those days leading up to the wedding were truly enjoyable, and of course, on the day itself, I received many lovely words from family and friends expressing how cute I looked and wishing me happiness—words I want to remember forever.

But in the end, he took such stingy actions regarding money,

It felt like he was saying, "Your dressed-up appearance and beautifully done hair and makeup weren’t worth spending money on. You should pay for it yourself."

I was left with nothing but sadness. I couldn’t even retort and ended up crying in the bath that day.

The wedding expenses involve significant costs like outfits, but also small miscellaneous items and paper goods, right?

Yet, I haven’t charged him for those minute costs because I figured I would pay for those myself since I was the one who wanted the wedding. I made sure to communicate that to him too.

I was so shocked to learn that he would suggest dividing the costs for the aspects I thought we'd obviously be sharing…

Writing this, I realize some might see me as playing the victim. 😭

However, when I told my boss in his 50s about this, he remarked, "Different generations I guess, but from my perspective, your husband is being unreasonable," which reassured me.

After he said that, I found myself thinking, "Am I the stingy one for wanting to split the costs of dress and hair/makeup?"

Thus, for me, it left a heavy burden on my heart...

But it has been very comforting to see that there are others in a similar situation, and it seems more people feel that what he did was unreasonable!

[And so forth…]