Be careful, as it might be really troublesome or lead to regret. What should you do before getting married and before registering your marriage?

2024.06.07 published

【Regretful】Pre-Marriage To-Do List

Recently, I closed the bank account my parents opened for me when I was younger.

(I am embarrassed to disclose the amount, but I will just say it was an amount that did not incur gift tax...!🤣)

Although the account was in my name, I had not made any name changes in preparation for marriage, so now, several years later, the account holder's details do not match at all (even when it is me).

✅Address also

✅Name also

So, identification documents such as my driver's license or passport were insufficient.

I needed an official document that listed my address (of my parents' house at the time), maiden name, current address, and current name all at once, and the only one that met that requirement was my family register.

It is said that you can obtain a family register at a convenience store now with a My Number card, which is convenient... but I realized in front of the convenience store machine that I had not set this up, and on top of that, I had lost my My Number card, so I could not obtain my family register without going to the city office. Moreover, I also needed to get my My Number card reissued... which was a real hassle.

Thus, I came to the conclusion that “I should definitely close any bank accounts opened by my parents that are not for my own management before getting married!!!”

In the discussion about separate surnames for married couples, one often hears the opinion from women who change their surnames that “If I hold a representative position in a company, changing everything costs money and is troublesome, isn’t it unfair just for women?!”, but I also serve as a company representative, and I had professionals handle all of that, so I managed to avoid the stress.

But then...!

As soon as I tried to handle it myself, I had no My Number card, was unsure of where my domicile was, and (therefore was anxious about the applications). I was completely inexperienced and flustered.

Everyone, if you have your driver's license, passport, or health insurance card, it’s better to either close the account created by your parents or withdraw all the funds while it is still easy.

(If the deposit exceeds 1.1 million yen, there is a possibility of incurring gift tax. You must be careful to avoid any unreported income.)

Conversely, there are those who have become parents and have created accounts for their children, right? The trend of saving for birth weight is popular.

It's better to hand over that account to the child before the name changes and have them take care of it.

(I was handed it after being married for a while, so I narrowly avoided it becoming a dormant account and potentially losing the money... that was close.)

*By the way, as a side note, as mentioned above, even if you create an account in your child's name, if it started with the parents' money or if it's a parent-managed account, it will be subject to gift tax if there is more than 1.1 million yen in the account when handing it over to the child (as of 2024).

Those who have had children and are creating accounts for them should be careful. It's best to research thoroughly before saving money in the account.

There are likely more things!

🔼 With that in mind, I thought about how complicated my bank account created by my parents was and wondered, “Isn’t there quite a bit I should do before getting married that I just don’t know about...?” So, I asked my followers on Instagram at marry.

Here are some of the responses I received.

① Wisdom Tooth Extraction

*****Response*****

Extraction of lower wisdom teeth!

I had mine extracted after getting married and having a child, and it was really tough…

I’m not sure if it’s my constitution, but I got dry sockets (excruciating pain) on both sides, and it was impossible to focus on parenting…

While nursing, I couldn’t take strong painkillers, so I just had to endure. I spent my days crying.

And to make matters worse, during the extraction of the second tooth, I didn’t realize I was pregnant with my second child, and I was worried about whether the anesthesia or painkillers would affect me.

I definitely recommend wisdom tooth extraction before marriage!

② Traveling Abroad and Seals

*****Response*****

I wish I had traveled more, especially abroad!✈️

I have both a daughter and a son, but I plan to use names for the bank seals, not surnames, for both of them!

***

Indeed, traveling can be daunting when you have small children, especially to places that require long flights.

I also agree about the seals. My grandfather made my seal, and I’ve been using the name seal he gave me when I was a child, and I truly appreciate it: “This was a great choice...! It reduced hassle...! Thank you, Grandpa...! I’m still using it!!”

③ Old Memories

*****Response*****

This might be a bit off-topic...

But I strongly recommend deleting all photos, letters exchanged, message history on LINE and other SNS, and anything received from past relationships!

You might feel awkward down the line if you don’t dispose of everything in your parents’ house.

From personal experience, I really want to emphasize this to everyone!

***

That is indeed true...

Especially for those who might have something to be concerned about, it’s definitely a good idea to organize your affairs...

④ Student Loan Repayment

*****Response*****

Repayment of student loans.

When your name changes, you have to change both your name and bank information, so it became cumbersome, and I decided to pay it all off at once!

I felt refreshed for finishing the student loan repayment before marriage, so I think it’s a good idea for those who can afford it to clear it all at once!

⑤ Student Loan Repayment

*****Response*****

I felt it was good that I got ICL (intraocular contact lenses), orthodontics, and hair removal done before marriage! Each cost around 1 million yen.

After marriage, it becomes recognized as shared property between us, so regardless of how much was saved during my single years, I feel a bit hesitant to spend a large sum of money on myself (for non-insurance medical expenses), so I’m glad I did it while I was still single!

⑥ House Organization

*****Response*****

Organizing my solo living space 😂

We are both the type to have a lot of belongings, but organizing is troublesome, and we both brought all our stuff to the new house without particularly decluttering, so we are overflowing with stuff...

There are a lot of things that I can’t tell whose they are, and I worry if it’s okay to throw things away without checking...

I regret not properly decluttering and organizing before moving in together 😂

⑦ Passport Changes: Not Necessary

*****Response*****

This one is more about what I wish I hadn’t done rather than what I’m glad I did...

I think I should have updated my passport after getting married instead of before!!

Passport updates can be done one year before expiration. I realized it was time to update mine and, thinking I better do it early before I forget, I updated it, only to find out shortly after that I was getting married.

As a result, I had to pay a fee (6,000 yen) for the name change...

If I had updated it after my name changed, I wouldn’t have had to pay that 6,000 yen, so I really didn’t need to rush into updating it 💦

⑧ Embarrassing History

*****Response*****

I’m really glad I cleaned out my room at my parents' house before getting married!

When I visited my parents' house just before getting married, I cleaned my room and found old letters and photos from ex-boyfriends, diaries, and things that I absolutely could not show my husband, like photos from my “gal days” and exchange notebooks; there were tons of embarrassing memories...

After getting married, my husband stays in my childhood room when we visit my parents' house, so I’m truly grateful I got rid of all that awkward history at that time...! 😂

That’s it!

For those who are about to get married or think they might fall into the aforementioned categories, please take note 📢

If you have other experiences or difficulties, I would appreciate it if you could DM them to marry's Instagram.

I would like to add them to an article for future brides 👰🏻‍♀️📝