What Would You Do? The Pros and Cons of Cohabiting vs. Not Cohabiting Before Marriage.

2016.03.31 published

Is it better to live together before marriage or not?

Are you going to live with your partner before marriage?? I am a newlywed who registered my marriage a year ago. We started living together six months before our wedding. I would like to share my experiences about living together for those readers of Marry who are about to get married.

Advantage 1 of living together before marriage

One advantage of living together before marriage is that it allows for smooth "wedding preparations." There are many things that cannot be decided during wedding meetings, and with DIY wedding items, living together allows you to work on them at home. In my case, since the wedding was far away, we had very few meetings. Therefore, we had to do a lot of preparations at home, and I was really glad we were living together.

Advantage 2 of living together before marriage

The second advantage of living together is that it helps with "saving money." Particularly if both individuals were living alone before, by living together, you can split not only the rent but also the utility costs in half. Living in the same house is more economical than living in separate homes, allowing you to save up for the wedding.

So, what are the drawbacks of living together before marriage?

One drawback of living together is that it can "disrupt each other's lifestyle." I've seen several couples who started living together before marriage and ended up breaking up. It's normal for living together to reveal mismatched rhythms and undesirable traits in each other. Once this becomes clear, many couples choose to part ways. After marriage, since it involves family, people tend to be more reasonable, but before the relationship reaches that point, the option of breaking up often arises.

Advantage 1 of not living together before marriage

One advantage of not living together before marriage is that it allows you to maintain a "fresh feeling." Many couples live together after getting married, right? Therefore, some couples may want to keep that fresh feeling until marriage. Meeting up for dates will naturally decrease once you start living together.

Advantage 2 of not living together before marriage

Another advantage of not living together is that it allows you to "mark the distinction of marriage." Traditionally, it was considered normal not to live together until marriage. If you want to respect the old idea of getting married and becoming a proper spouse, not living together is a good choice. It prevents marriage from becoming just an extension of living together and provides a clear separation.

So, what are the drawbacks of not living together before marriage?

The drawback of not living together is the opposite of the drawbacks of living together: you will not know each other's "lifestyle" until you get married. There are things that you will only discover by living together. It's crucial to be careful since a sudden change in lifestyle due to marriage can lead to stress and health issues.

Let's discuss "living together" with your partner before marriage.

How did you find this? Both "living together" and "not living together" have their respective advantages. There’s no doubt that living with your partner will be a fun experience. Please discuss with your partner how to approach your relationship before marriage and find the best method that suits both of you.