"Don't Be Embarrassed by Mistakes! A Guide to Properly Writing a Response Card for Wedding Invitations*"

2018.09.05 published

How to Reply to an Invitation

When you receive a wedding invitation, you should respond as soon as possible. Are you familiar with the etiquette for reply postcards?

Before you experience the embarrassment of realizing "Oh, I didn't know that rule," let's review the etiquette for reply postcards. ♩

@haruno45

Etiquette for Reply Postcards ① Timing of Response

When you receive an invitation, do you send your reply right away? If you are attending, it is customary to respond as soon as possible after receiving the invitation. For absences, it’s best to wait a short while before sending your reply.

If you have ever prepared for a wedding, you probably won’t delay your reply. Regardless of attending or not, responding with some time to spare before the deadline is the mark of mature etiquette.

@chika.wd0422

Etiquette for Reply Postcards ② How to Write for Attendance

First, let’s look at how to write if you are attending. Be sure to remove all honorifics referring to yourself!

Cross out the “go” (御) in “go shusseki” and mark your attendance with a circle (○). Add “yorokonde” (慶んで) before and “sasete itadakimasu” (させていただきます) after your attendance statement.

Also, don’t forget to cross out the text indicating absence.

Etiquette for Reply Postcards ③ How to Write for Absence

For absence, first, cross out the “go” (御) in “go kesseki”. Then mark absence with a circle and cross out the attendance indication.

Don’t forget to add “zan’nen nagara” (残念ながら) and “sasete itadakimasu” (させていただきます).

Etiquette for Reply Postcards ④ Writing on the Back

There are rules for formal written communications, including reply postcards. When you receive an invitation, the sender's name and address are written in honorifics from the perspective of the guests.

However, since you are sending the reply, you should remove the honorifics from your own name and address. Don’t forget to cross out “go (御) youmei” (ご芳名) and “go (御) jūsho” (ご住所) respectively! Also, make sure to do the same when creating a reply art.

Etiquette for Reply Postcards ⑤ In the Case of Joint Names

When invited to a wedding as a couple or family, it is common for a single invitation to be sent with joint names.

- If both partners are attending, write both names in the name section.

- If only one partner is attending, mark attendance and write only the name of the attendee.

(For the absent partner, you can write a reason in the message section.)

- If both partners are absent, mark absence and write both names in the name section.

Etiquette for Reply Postcards ⑥ Allergies

If you have food allergies, write in the allergy section (or in the message section if there is none),

"I’m sorry, but I have an egg allergy. I would appreciate your consideration."

"I have a crustacean allergy. Thank you for your understanding."

Etiquette for Reply Postcards ⑦ How to Address the Envelope

Be cautious not to send the envelope as it is since it would be rude. The name of the person getting married will have “ato” (宛) written on it.

Cross out “ato” and change it to “sama” (様). If the address is in joint names, don’t forget to add “sama” to each name.

Etiquette for Reply Postcards ⑧ For More Formality, Use “Kotobuki”

One way to be more formal in the previously mentioned areas you cross out is to use the character “Kotobuki” (寿). Since it’s a celebratory occasion, using “Kotobuki” for crossings has been traditionally employed.

Use “Kotobuki” for each character to be crossed out, so for “go youmei” you would write “Kotobuki” above “go” and “Kotobuki” above “youmei” respectively.

Etiquette for Reply Postcards ⑨ Use a Black Ballpoint Pen or Fountain Pen

Recently, reply art has become popular, and many brides appreciate receiving them. However, refrain from using erasable pencils or mechanical pencils; instead, opt for a ballpoint pen or fountain pen. Please use black ink.

Let’s Respond to Invitations Following Etiquette

At a joyous occasion like a wedding, it’s essential to avoid any rudeness. Be sure to follow the etiquette and respond properly. ♡

➡ A little note makes it kinder and more appreciated! A list of message examples to include on reply postcards

➡ For more articles on replying to invitations, click here!

@Weddingaya617