"How to Invite Parents to Your Wedding When They've Divorced and Remarried?"

2016.07.24 published

For Brides Whose Parents Are Divorced or Remarried

Nowadays, it is said that one in three couples divorce. While the ideal is for a couple to be together forever after marriage, divorce can certainly be a possibility if they can find happiness apart.

In this context, many soon-to-be brides might find themselves in situations where either their parents or their fiancé's parents are divorced or remarried. It’s incredibly gratifying as a child to see one's parents living happily in their own lives. However, it can be a bit troubling to figure out how to invite them to the wedding...

Your Feelings, Parents' Feelings, and Social Perception...

Every bride has her own complicated family dynamics. For instance, even if a bride wishes for both parents to attend, she might worry, “Wouldn’t it be awkward for my parents...?” or “Social perception really does matter...”, or “My fiancé's parents will certainly attend together, so what about mine...?” There are many tough considerations to ponder alone, and many might find themselves feeling troubled.

Therefore, today we will discuss the theme: **What should you do when inviting parents who are divorced or remarried to a wedding?** I hope this will be helpful for any brides who find themselves in this situation.

[Question 1] Is it okay to invite only one parent if I have already become estranged from the other?

The answer is YES. If your parents are divorced and already estranged or on bad terms, it’s perfectly fine to invite only one parent! Of course, you should explain the situation to your planner and your fiancé's family in advance and get their understanding, but I’m sure that all guests will behave like adults in this situation.

[Question 2] Can divorced parents attend the wedding together as the bride's parents?

The answer is YES. However, this issue varies from person to person. If the divorced parents agree that they can attend the wedding together, then that’s perfectly fine. On the other hand, if they feel they cannot meet even for their child’s wedding, that would not be acceptable. Because the opinions of grandparents may also be involved in this situation, it's important to proceed with caution in discussions.

[Question 3] I want to invite my biological parents, but one of them (the one I’m registered with) is remarried.

As a child, you may really want your biological parents to attend together! However, for example, if you are registered with your father, and he is remarried... then due to registration, your stepmother would usually take on the role of the bride’s mother. Still, it is certainly possible to invite your biological mother with mutual discussion.

Seeing your biological mother in your bridal gown would be unbelievably special, right? Even if she cannot attend the wedding, many brides send her photos or invite one parent to take pictures during pre-wedding or post-wedding shoots so that she can see the bride in person! This is also a wonderful way to show appreciation to your parents!

[Question 4] What should I do about parent-related performances or ceremonies?

When it comes to performances related to parents, it might involve walking down the aisle, presenting bouquets, or saying goodbye to guests after the reception... If one parent is absent and those moments cannot happen, it would be a big disappointment, so many brides have found it helpful to ask relatives or mentors to step in as proxies.

Additionally, writing a letter from the bride, which is a highlight of the reception, can be a bit challenging when parents are divorced. Nonetheless, it’s essential to express gratitude toward the parents who can attend first and foremost. If the new spouse of a parent is present, it’s also nice to say something like, “I look forward to growing closer with you.”

There’s No Right Answer. That’s Why It’s Important to Discuss Honestly.

Whether or not to invite divorced or remarried parents to the wedding... There is no single correct answer to this question. In fact, I believe there are as many answers as there are couples.

That's why it's crucial not to shoulder everything alone. Share your true feelings with your husband, family, and planner. Your parents are likely feeling just as conflicted as you are. I hope that for each bride celebrating a happy wedding, a satisfactory outcome can be achieved for all family members involved.

➡ What to Do If You Don’t Want to Read a Letter from Your Parents Because They Don't Get Along, Are Divorced, or You Don't Like Them?

➡ If My Parents Are Divorced, Is It Okay for Both My Father and Mother to Attend the Wedding? 【52 Experiences】