"Deepening Family Bonds in Their Own Style: What’s the Difference Between 'Yuinou' and 'Engagement Dinner'?"

Let's Deepen the Friendship Between Both Families Before the Ceremony ***

After you get proposed to and finish greeting your parents, it's finally time to celebrate the engagement of the two families together! ♩ Since it's an important opportunity to deepen the friendship between both families, you definitely want to make it a wonderful celebration time.＊

The First Dinner Meeting with Both Families! Yui no or Engagement Dinner?

In Japan, there are two patterns for traditional engagement ceremonies: "Yui no" (formal engagement) and the casual atmosphere of "Engagement Dinner (Face-to-Face Meeting)."＊

While "Yui no" is a traditional Japanese custom, recently the "Face-to-Face Meeting (Engagement Dinner)" style has become popular as it can be done casually without emphasizing traditions. ♩

What are "Yui no" and "Engagement Dinner (Face-to-Face Meeting)"?

*What is Yui no?*

Originally, Yui no was called the "gift of engagement," where the man's family would bring gifts of sake and side dishes to a celebratory gathering to the woman's family, who would then host them with food. ♩

Over time, this sake and side dishes were gradually replaced by the bride's attire and decorative accessories, turning traditional Yui no items into more of a formal decoration, which became simplified.＊

While historically Yui no and the subsequent dinner were commonly held at the woman's home, nowadays it's increased to be held in private rooms at restaurants, hotels, or specialized venues. ♡ There are quite a few places offering "Yui no plans" that combine Yui no items and dining together.＊

*What is Engagement Dinner?*

The Engagement Dinner, also known as Face-to-Face Meeting, is a simplified form of Yui no, aimed primarily at deepening the friendship between both families by stripping away the ceremonial aspects.＊

There’s no particularly established flow or ceremonies for Engagement Dinners, but it seems common for couples to exchange engagement rings or mementos as a sign of their engagement. ♡ Many people utilize private spaces in restaurants or ryotei, and clothing tends to be more casual. ♩

Which style may be more suited for the two of you? Let's introduce the merits and demerits of both Yui no and Engagement Dinner.＊

Merits of Yui no ① Experience a traditional ceremony

The biggest allure of "Yui no" is that you can experience a traditional atmosphere. ♡ It should make you feel like you've taken another step towards your wedding. Studying about the customs and speeches of Yui no that you wouldn't normally learn about can also be a good experience.＊

Merits of Yui no ② Make parents feel more at ease

By holding Yui no, not only the bride and groom but also the parents will feel a sense of closure, ensuring peace of mind.＊ While an Engagement Dinner alone may feel too casual, a formal Yui no will likely increase parents' sense of security. ♩

Merits of Yui no ③ Wear a furisode and take memorable pictures

For formal Yui no, generally the man wears a suit while the woman wears a furisode. ＊ If you're able to showcase your furisode and capture it in photographs as a memorable moment before marriage, it can become a lifelong keepsake! ♡

Demerits of Yui no ① There are many rules and it can be bothersome

Even if it’s informal, there are many rules in Yui no, so preparing in advance might be a bit daunting. >< To avoid panicking on the day, it's essential for both of you to thoroughly understand the arrangements first!

Demerits of Yui no ② Higher costs

The combined cost of Yui no and the subsequent dinner can be a bit financially challenging. ＊ When you consider the engagement gifts, the course meal at the ryotei, return gifts, furisode fees, and dressing fees... overall, it seems you'll need quite a budget. >< It’s also a time when you’d like to save money for the actual ceremony, so deciding on a style while also discussing the budget is important. ♩

Merits of Engagement Dinner ① Conversations flow in a relaxed atmosphere

The biggest charm of the Engagement Dinner is that it allows both families to meet in a relaxed and casual atmosphere. ♩ Without any tension, both families meeting for the first time will surely have lively and engaging conversations.＊

Merits of Engagement Dinner ② Freedom in planning the program

Since it’s a freestyle dinner, everything from timing to the flow can be orchestrated by yourselves, which is great! As you consider how to create a ceremony where you can feel the joy of becoming a family, think about the words and flow of the meeting.＊

Merits of Engagement Dinner ③ Lower costs compared to Yui no

The cuisine and clothing don’t need to be overly formal, making it a cheerful point that budgets tend to be lower compared to Yui no. ♡ For the Engagement Dinner, it should be possible for just the bride and groom to cover the expenses. ♩

Demerits of Engagement Dinner ① It might feel half-hearted

Because the Engagement Dinner is casual with fewer rules, if you don’t prepare, there’s a possibility it may just turn into a regular drinking party. >< Some parents may feel uneasy without proper formality, so it's crucial for the couple to take on the role of hosts and lead properly.＊

Demerits of Engagement Dinner ② Difficulties in choosing the location

Finding a venue that’s neither too casual nor too formal can be quite challenging. >< Regardless of it being a casual dinner, it's essential to keep in mind that it’s a special day, so let’s find a wonderful location. ♡

Let's Choose a Style that Fits the Two of You! ♡

The opportunity for both families to meet for the first time is an important event that solidifies your engagement and starts the relationship between both families. ♩ Keeping the goal of "making both families friendly" in mind, you'd like to choose between "Yui no" and "Engagement Dinner (Face-to-Face Meeting)" depending on yourselves and your families.＊

Please make it a wonderful day that can deepen the friendship between both families, almost as memorable as the wedding itself! ♩