"Perfect Your Wedding Invitation Etiquette Before Attending: A Comprehensive Review of Surprisingly Unclear Wedding Guest Manners"

2016.10.28 published

[Invitation Etiquette] Are You Perfect?

When you receive a wedding invitation, you might feel excited but also anxious about the wedding etiquette. To sincerely celebrate the wedding of your important friends and family without embarrassment, it's good to check the basic etiquette in advance ♡

Let's review the perfect [invitation etiquette] before attending the wedding ♩

[Invitation Etiquette] ① Replying to the Invitation

The moment you receive a wedding invitation, the etiquette begins! The variety of unique invitations has increased recently, but many reply postcards still follow traditional etiquette with vertical writing, so it's essential to grasp the etiquette well ♩

It's ideal to reply within 2 to 3 days (no later than within a week) after receiving the wedding invitation. The bride and groom will make arrangements for seating and food based on your response, so the sooner, the better for them ♡

@ya0420_wedding

Some people may have uncertain plans for the wedding day due to work schedules or overlapping pregnancy and childbirth >< In such cases, it’s essential to explain directly over the phone within a few days to a week after receiving the invitation, saying, “Due to certain circumstances, my reply will be delayed.” Then, make sure to send the reply postcard by the response deadline as etiquette ♩

@Weddingaya617

When writing the reply postcard, use a black ink ballpoint pen. If you’re comfortable with it, a brush pen or a black ink fountain pen is even better ◎ Aim for a response that is easy to read for the recipient ♩ Be careful not to accidentally use "gray," which is associated with mourning colors!

If “行” or “宛” is written below the recipient on the front of the reply postcard, it should be crossed out with a diagonal double line, and "様" should be written on the left side as etiquette ♩ On the reverse, first circle whether you will attend or not and cross out the other with a double line. Next, the honorifics “御出席,” “御住所,” and “御芳名” should be crossed out with a double line as they are respectful titles directed towards you ♩ Don’t forget to add a congratulatory message addressed to the bride and groom ♡

[Invitation Etiquette] ② Gift Money Etiquette

If you give too little, it might be perceived as "stingy," and if you provide too much, you could be seen as "showing off"… One of the troubling aspects related to weddings is "gift money." It’s important to properly understand the gift money etiquette as well!

The amount of gift money depends on your relationship with the bride and groom. If they are friends, the typical range is about 20,000 to 30,000 yen ♩ Always prepare crisp bills in advance as etiquette ♡

Be sure to follow the style of the wedding and the customs of the area when giving your gift money. Generally, even numbers are considered unlucky because they symbolize "separation," but 2 as a "pair" and 8 for "expansion" can be acceptable cases. However, 4 and 9 are still considered taboo numbers, so avoid these amounts ♩

Various types of gift money envelopes exist, but for wedding celebrations, choose a type with "knot" that signifies "once tied, can’t be untied," such as "musubi-kiri" or "awaji-nobori" ♩ Conversely, "butterfly knots" can be re-tied and are therefore not suitable for wedding gifts, so be careful >< Additionally, it’s good to match the decoration of the gift envelope to the amount given!

@kana3co

On the day of the wedding, wrap the gift money envelope in a “fukusa” and take it with you. Be cautious not to just pull it out from your bag or pocket! When handing over the gift money envelope at the reception, greet them with, “Congratulations on your special day,” and present it with both hands facing the recipient so they can read it easily. That's how a capable woman does it! ♡

If you are unable to attend the wedding, make sure to hand over the reply postcard within a week after sending it. If you can't deliver it in person due to distance, it's fine to send it by mail ♩ Wrap the amount in half to one-third of what you would have given if you attended ♩ Instead of cash, a gift equivalent in value is also acceptable ♡

@miyu.w.d

[Invitation Etiquette] ③ Reception Etiquette

Finally, the much-awaited wedding day has arrived ♡ Upon stepping into the venue, a formal and special atmosphere is spread before you ♩ The initial etiquette at the reception is crucial as it sets the tone for the day!

@wedding_mickey

Upon arrival at the venue, first check your luggage at the cloakroom and approach the reception empty-handed ♩ If it’s winter, take off your coat and leave it at the cloakroom before checking in ♩ Many people make the mistake of greeting while still holding their coat, which is a definite no-no!

At the reception, offer your congratulations as you hand over the gift money. To indicate which side you are on, saying, “Congratulations today. I’m [Your Name], a friend of the groom (or bride). Thank you for inviting me,” creates a more courteous impression ♡

@miiiyaaa_0512

Depending on the reception staff’s instructions, either write just your name or include your name and address in the guestbook. Ensure to write it down politely ♩

@truwed_na

[Invitation Etiquette] ④ Table Manners

Table manners can seem difficult, but as long as you follow the basic etiquette, you’ll be fine! The main table manners to avoid are: “making noise with dishes,” “talking loudly,” “matching your eating pace with those around you,” and “not drinking too much alcohol,” so pay attention to these minimum essentials ♩

Also, place the napkin folded in half, with the folded side facing you on your lap ♩ Use the utensils starting from the outermost ones, and try to excuse yourself for restroom breaks when the bride and groom are out of the room for outfit changes or during conversation time ♩

@locomai_wd1008

Since there will be many older guests at the wedding, it's important to be mindful of them and ensure there are no faux pas ♡

[Invitation Etiquette] ⑤ Performance Etiquette

If you are asked to perform at the reception by the bride and groom, remember that while it's important to bring joy to them and liven up the venue, there are manners to keep in mind as well ♩

@tonko_wedding_miavia

Avoidance behaviors include: “inside jokes,” “long performances,” “using taboo words,” and “crude performances.” If only a few people find it funny, or if it drags on too long and becomes tiresome, it might cool the atmosphere considerably >< Avoid such acts to honor the bride and groom ♩

@tonko_wedding_miavia

Recommended performances include: “thoughtful acts for the bride and groom,” “entertainments enjoyable for all ages,” and “fun and cheerful performances.” Since many different generations are often invited to wedding receptions, aim for presentations that are well-received by everyone and can enliven the venue ♡

@zmn.0q0

The ideal timing for performances is usually after the meal has been served and guests are ready to unwind. Refrain from extremely loud performances or overly high-energy acts that might make guests uncomfortable; it’s important to consider the overall balance and prepare enjoyable performances ♩

@m__wedding__t

Master [Invitation Etiquette] and Celebrate the Bride and Groom Heartily ♡

Wedding invitation etiquette is something every competent woman should have firmly grasped ♡ Let’s ensure that what you thought was common knowledge isn’t actually a breach of etiquette… By following proper manners, you can help ensure that the bride and groom have a satisfying and memorable wedding! ♡

@hamu.wed

Before attending the wedding of a cherished friend or family member, review the [invitation etiquette] in advance! ♡