“How Are Others Managing? 4 Ways Couples Share Financial Responsibilities, According to Our Dual-Income Friends”

2024.02.07 published

How Do Couples Manage Their Finances? What Does Everyone Do???

A question that couples should consider as soon as they get married or decide to marry is about 【couples' financial issues】!

When you are single, money and assets that you earn belong to you alone, but once you get married and have a spouse, money earned after marriage is not just yours; it legally becomes "joint property of the couple."

@haruno45

Therefore, there is no distinction between "my money" and "your money."

✅ Even if you earn more than your husband and feel financially uneasy relying on him

✅ Or if your spouse's income is overwhelmingly higher than yours and you are in a position to rely on them

✅ Even if you become a stay-at-home mom

The concept of "who earned it, whose money it is" does not exist!

The husband's money and the wife's money are all family money, mixed together, and become 'shared property of the couple'... this is what it means to be in a marital relationship.

So, let's work together to manage our finances ♡

Both incomes are family money, and there will be many financial needs in the long life ahead.

For instance, the cost of housing is generally higher for a family than when living alone, and once you have children, you will also need money for food, living expenses, and educational fees. You also need to go to the hospital to give birth, and if you're working while raising children, you'll need to send them to daycare.

As children grow up, they might start attending cram schools, and when they become university students, they may also start living independently, requiring financial support from you.

Even after the children become adults and the financial burden is lifted, you may face the situation of retiring with reduced income while still needing money for assisted living or facilities.

Here are 4 examples of financial rules for working couples＊

Since money will be needed throughout life, managing money and saving is very important.

The money you could spend freely when you were single is now not just yours but also belongs to your partner... this understanding allows both of you to spend money comfortably and save without anxiety, so a 'management rule' is essential＊

However, these rules vary from household to household. Just as there are no two identical people in the world, the financial rules also differ between couples.

Newlyweds should explore each other's requests like "I want to spend more" or "I want to save more" while finding the most comfortable financial management rules for them＊

That said, if there are no examples to follow, it can be hard to figure out how to proceed.

Here are some examples of financial rules from working couples in their 20s to 30s who have been married for three years＊

Example 1: Transfer a set amount to a family living expenses account

Pattern 1 involves both partners transferring a fixed amount each month into a joint account for family living expenses (like rent, utilities, and groceries), and all costs related to the family are covered by this joint account.

For example, if the income is 300,000 yen and they agree to transfer 150,000 yen each month into the joint account, any food or household items purchased at the supermarket or joint outings would be paid from that account.

They also have a joint credit card that is set to withdraw from the joint account. It appears that they buy their shared items with this card.

In this couple's case, the savings in the joint account are defined as their shared savings, while the savings in their individual accounts are regarded as each person's discretionary spending money.

Therefore, each person is responsible for their own leisure activities or spending on clothes and hobbies from their respective allowances.

Since each month only a set amount of money needs to be contributed to the household, the feeling is somewhat like sending money to oneself.

It's comfortable to have more discretionary money, but as a couple, they might wonder about how each other spends that discretionary money. For instance, even if they initially decided to contribute the same amounts to the joint account based on similar salaries,

there is a chance that over time one partner's income may rise significantly while the other may not change at all... if they continue the same contribution rule despite this, it could lead to a sense of unfairness.

If the difference in discretionary spending money becomes too large, there is a risk that each partner may not be able to maintain the same standard of living.

Even if they are allowed to spend freely, it seems essential to keep a clear understanding of each other's income and expenses＊

Example 2: One partner covers all expenses while the other saves their income

Pattern 2 features the husband covering all expenses with his salary while the wife's salary is largely untouched and saved for the couple's future.

In this scenario, at the beginning of the month, the husband allocates money from his salary for rent and living expenses, and they both distribute a set amount for personal allowances. All necessary expenses for living are paid from the husband's salary, which usually amounts to about the same as his monthly earnings.

While the regular expenses are all covered by the husband's income, if there are sudden expenses that cannot be met, they seem to withdraw from the wife’s account to cover those costs.

This approach means the amount the couple spends is explicitly limited to the husband's paycheck, so they need to manage family finances and individual allowances within that range.

The allowance amount does not fluctuate like in Pattern 1, which creates stricter constraints for both the family and the individual, but this stability allows for more controlled money management overall.

Example 3: Save a specific amount together each month first.

Pattern 3 is a rule in which both partners first allocate a fixed amount from their combined incomes to "savings" each month.

First and foremost, the priority is to save that fixed amount, and only then do they discuss their consumption. They are visually saving together through a designated account.

After saving, they split the living expenses, and any remaining money becomes their individual allowances.

This rule is like Pattern 1, with the addition of a savings element.

Since they are saving together and paying living expenses together, there is a sense of unity＊

Example 4: The husband provides living expenses

Example 4 is when the husband gives a portion of his paycheck as "this is the living expense for this month."

From that living expense, they save together as a couple, then pay rent, utilities, consumables, dining out, and allowances.

The husband’s income other than what he provides as living expenses and the wife's income are kept separate.

As long as the husband provides sufficient living expenses, money may not be a major issue, but it could lead to potential disputes later if either partner does not recognize that “it is not each person's asset, but a shared asset of the couple.”

Summary＊ The rules differ based on situations and personalities.

I shared real examples of the financial management rules from four couples around me＊

The article presented how family expenses are managed, how allowances are allocated, and how savings are conducted.

There is no right or wrong pattern, and no good or bad system. The most important thing is to find a way that is sustainable and enjoyable, considering the balance of income and lifestyle for the couple ♡

Remember that "everything is joint property of the couple."

It's essential to maintain a strong awareness that "both my savings and my partner's savings are not personal assets but shared money of the couple."

May you live happily together until death parts you.

The average life expectancy in Japan is 80.79 years for men and 87.05 years for women.

To enjoy a long, fulfilling life together, financial security is essential.

There will undoubtedly be challenging times in the next 30 to 40 years.

There will be situations where the two of you must overcome financial difficulties together.

During such times, having trust in each other and collaborating to resolve issues is pivotal, hence family financial management is a very important keyword.

When dating or young, one might be preoccupied with thoughts like “My boyfriend doesn’t cover the expenses” or “We are always splitting the bill,” but it’s time to graduate from such emotions!

Couples and families must collaboratively generate the money needed to live happily until the end of their lives.

Let’s find mutually agreeable financial rules without secrets or transactional thinking, based on trust♩

➡ It’s convenient to manage finances with the app “OsidOri” ♡

➡ It’s important to think seriously from the early days of marriage. Get a free household budgeting assessment from a financial planner

@y_wd__1005

It’s recommended to discuss financial matters including a financial planner＊

Talking about money can be challenging even for couples.

In such cases, it is advisable to involve a financial planner in the discussion＊

By talking to a professional financial planner, future financial matters become more tangible, and they can facilitate discussions that may be difficult to have, in addition to proposing necessary plans for insurance or investments, providing peace of mind.

➡ A financial planner can answer these types of questions!

Mr. Takahashi, a financial planner who implements life planning at a wedding venue, is particularly recommended as he specializes in newlywed couples ♡

You can consult through LINE (you can have a free consultation via LINE or ZOOM!), so please feel free to reach out＊

➡ Here is Mr. Takahashi’s LINE＊