Better to Avoid?! A List of Items Considered Taboo for Gifts in Returns and Wedding Favors*
2018.01.31 published
It seems there are things that shouldn't be chosen for return gifts and celebratory gifts...
Choosing return gifts and celebratory gifts at weddings.
It’s very enjoyable to select your favorite items from a variety of products ♡
Even though the items chosen are not directly for oneself, just imagining everyone’s happy faces makes it such a delightful shopping time♩
However, while selecting these enjoyable return gifts and celebratory gifts, there are indeed items that are considered taboo or inappropriate to give.
Whether or not to heed these customs varies from person to person, but since these gifts are typically given to seniors or respected individuals, it’s best to avoid being rude as much as possible.
Here are some representative items that are said to be better avoided when giving return gifts or celebratory gifts, along with the reasons*
Taboo or inappropriate items for return gifts and celebratory gifts #1: Cutting tools
Cutting tools refer to items like knives and paring knives. Because cutting involves "severing ties," it evokes negative connotations, making it generally undesirable.
However, recently, there have been stories of celebrities who received very much appreciated razors as return gifts for men.
Cutting tool sets are listed in catalog gifts as well, so rather than saying "You must absolutely avoid these taboo items 100%," it's more important to "avoid giving them to those who might mind."*
Taboo or inappropriate items for return gifts and celebratory gifts #2: Combs
Combs are considered inappropriate gifts because phonetically, the kanji for "comb" (くし) can evoke the characters for "suffering" and "death."
Additionally, the risk of teeth breaking can also remind people of losing something important, making it taboo.
Taboo or inappropriate items for return gifts and celebratory gifts #3: Footwear
Particularly when it comes to giving gifts to seniors or elders, the custom exists that giving shoes, sandals, or socks may be considered rude.
This is because items worn on the feet have connotations of "treading upon" or "trampling."
Moreover, giving such items could imply a message that means "You should move your feet more," suggesting that one should "keep working harder."
Therefore, if one is concerned about such meanings, it seems unsuitable to give them to older or respected individuals.
Taboo or inappropriate items for return gifts and celebratory gifts #4: Pens and stationery
Stationery items like pens can be interpreted as urging someone to be "more diligent" or "study harder," making them somewhat inappropriate for gifting to elevated individuals.
(I recall receiving a fine pen as a graduation commemorative gift during middle or elementary school, but it was indeed implying, "You should continue to study diligently!"...)
Taboo or inappropriate items for return gifts and celebratory gifts #5: Interior items
Previously, I have introduced items that are considered taboo or better avoided based on tradition and customs. Now we will address the issue of practicality.
It seems it's best to refrain from choosing "interior items" as gifts unless there is a strong personal preference.
As is obvious, each individual has their unique tastes and preferences when it comes to interior decor. It’s nice if you can choose decor that aligns with each recipient's interests, but that can be quite a challenging task.
It's safer to avoid items like ornaments or picture frames, and wall clocks that might not align with someone’s aesthetic preferences.
If the effort invested in choosing a well thought out gift leads to comments like "That was a terrible choice!" or "Oh really? Is that still around? I threw it out ages ago," it would be incredibly disappointing.
For return gifts and celebratory gifts, selecting items that are perishable or consumable will likely be easier and more appreciated by everyone.
How to choose return gifts and celebratory gifts: Knowledge is key!
When searching, various information comes up.
For example, items that violate etiquette or those that are not well-received. Many have historical origins or customs that can change based on the region, resulting in a plethora of prohibitions!
There may be times when you feel overwhelmed, thinking, "I just want to give a gift to express my gratitude, so why are there so many restrictions and things I should avoid?! It’s frustrating!!"
However, customs and common sense evolve over time. These aren't rules that must be strictly adhered to, and sometimes things deemed inappropriate can be genuinely appreciated.
What's most important when giving gifts isn't about strictly following rules.
Above all, the critical aspect is the desire to bring joy to the recipient.
Instead of focusing on your own desire to give what you want, when you respect the recipient’s feelings, you can think,
"This person probably places importance on customs, so I should go with something conventional and safe," or
"This person probably doesn't mind those things, and has been getting into fashion lately, so I will gift socks."
There are various perspectives to consider*
It’s not necessary to avoid things just because society says they are taboo; understanding this allows you to think about what would be best for the recipient when making your selection. That’s the essence of good gift-giving sense♩
Whether it's choosing return gifts or reciprocal gifts, thinking about it joyfully, and having those you give it to smile in appreciation is the best outcome♡