"How to Properly Express Gratitude When Leaving for Marriage: Key Considerations for a Smooth 'Shutai-sha' Exit"

I am getting married and planning to retire for marriage.

"Retirement for marriage" means quitting your job at the same time as getting married. If you are transitioning into a home life or changing jobs due to moving as a result of your wedding with him, then you will likely be retiring for marriage.

Retirement for marriage is a celebratory event, and it's not a bad thing, but unfortunately, it's also true that a small misstep can often lead to resentment.

So, how can we achieve a smooth retirement for marriage? Let me share some tips!

Points for a Smooth Retirement for Marriage① When should I say it?

Once you've decided to retire for marriage, the first thing to consider is "when should I say it?" It would be too early to mention it at the announcement of your marriage, but at the same time, telling it just before you leave is also a concern.

Generally, it's considered best to inform your employer 1 to 3 months prior to leaving, but in the case of retirement for marriage, since the plans are often known well in advance, it's advisable to inform them at least 3 months before.

However, the timing of the announcement can vary by workplace. Some workplaces may be troubled if you inform them during busy periods, while in some jobs, it might be necessary to mention it about six months in advance to find a replacement.

If there has been someone in your workplace who retired for marriage, it's a good idea to recall how that person did it. Even though three months is generally mentioned, it is best to consider your own work situation, the company environment, and the busyness when conveying the message to your workplace.

Points for a Smooth Retirement for Marriage② Who should I tell first?

Once you've figured out the timing for retirement for marriage, the next point is "who should I tell first?" You might wonder whether to tell a close senior colleague or your boss.

When retiring for marriage (as with a standard resignation), you should inform your direct boss first about your marriage and your intention to retire. Generally, your boss will guide you through the next steps once informed. You should consult about whether there will be a formal meeting to discuss your resignation, if you should inform others individually, and when to submit your resignation letter.

However, there might be times when you want to inform your close colleagues or seniors about your marriage before your boss. In such cases, make sure to keep it confidential until you've informed your boss. It's considered polite for your boss to hear the news first about the retirement for marriage, so ensure you don't appear inconsiderate by having it shared by someone else.

Points for a Smooth Retirement for Marriage③ How and when should I bring it up?

Once you know to tell your direct boss, the next thing to ponder is "when and how should I bring it up?" It can be quite troublesome deciding the right moment to approach this topic...

You might say to your boss, "I have a personal matter to discuss; may I have a moment of your time?" This approach is smart. Since it’s not about work, it’s better to talk during lunch breaks or after working hours.

When you get the chance to talk with your boss, first inform them about your marriage and then your intention to resign. Bring a sense of gratitude with you as you say, "Thank you for all your support until now," and speak humbly and sincerely.

Points for a Smooth Retirement for Marriage④ Should I invite colleagues to the wedding?

When you plan to retire for marriage, it can be a dilemma whether to invite colleagues to the wedding or not. This varies depending on the company and relationships, so there's no definitive answer on whether it's better to invite or not.

If you decide not to invite them, you can gently mention that "the wedding will be held only with close family" to explain why they are not being invited. It's also a point of concern whether your boss will be invited or not.

If you want to invite them, first ask your direct boss if they would be willing to attend by saying, "If you're available, I would like to invite you to my wedding..."

Inviting colleagues to the wedding when retiring for marriage can be quite a dilemma. You may feel both a desire to invite them as a token of appreciation for their support, and also question whether it's appropriate to invite them while quitting the job.

Whether or not to send invitations often depends on factors such as your tenure, relationships, and workplace environment. However, a recent trend among brides seems to be to invite only those whom they wish to keep in touch with moving forward. Many brides choose not to invite colleagues with whom they won’t have a relationship post-retirement.

If invited to a wedding, guests have to pay a gift and it can take time and money, so it makes sense to feel apologetic about inviting them...

Some brides choose not to invite their bosses but do invite co-workers with whom they wish to remain friends!

If you decide not to invite, sending a wedding announcement card is courteous.

➡ You can create a wedding announcement card using an app!

Points for a Smooth Retirement for Marriage⑤ Ensure a proper handover of work!

When you've decided to retire for marriage, you need to prepare for the handover of your work. The handover may involve distributing tasks among colleagues, hiring a new person, or creating a handover document, depending on the company. Follow your boss’s instructions to ensure a smooth handover.

When creating the handover document, it’s essential to make it easy to understand for anyone who may read it, including colleagues, your boss, or a new person. Be sure to make it concise and clear.

Points for a Smooth Retirement for Marriage⑥ Greeting clients

When retiring for marriage, while you will inform your boss and colleagues in the same department, it’s also necessary to notify clients about your departure.

The timing and method—whether you will visit in person, send a letter, or communicate by phone or email—can vary. Make sure to coordinate with your boss and the new person in charge before conveying this information to the clients.

Points for a Smooth Retirement for Marriage⑦ Should I bring sweets when I leave? Or not?

On your last working day, it may be customary to bring sweets or small gifts (like handkerchiefs) to express gratitude. The practice differs by company, so referring to how previous colleagues handled it would be best to decide whether to bring something or not.

Though it’s a matter of feeling, it can also serve as a conversation starter during goodbyes, so having something may be a nice touch.

The "Flower Lace Sable" sold by marry is colorful and lovely, making it a recommended gift for workplaces with many women.

➡ See the product list for lace sable

To ensure a smooth departure! Is the process for retiring for marriage alright?

I have introduced five key points for ensuring a smooth retirement for marriage. However, the method of retiring for marriage varies by company. There is no definitive right or wrong way to do it!

If there was someone who retired for marriage before you, you could follow their lead. If there aren't any examples, asking a close senior colleague in confidence can also be a good idea.

Since retirement for marriage is a celebratory event, if you carefully consider the company and your relationship with your colleagues while communicating your intention to resign, you should be able to retire smoothly.

Make sure you fulfill your responsibilities and work diligently until the end, and enjoy your retirement for marriage in a favorable manner!♩