How to Politely Decline Requests for Skits or Speeches from Bosses and Relatives Without Causing Offense?

2017.04.05 published

What to Do When Someone Says "I Want to Perform"?

A wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime, important event.

To create a wedding that people will say, "That was a great wedding," not only is the venue's atmosphere and the food important, but the 'performances' you include are also crucial.

There are many wonderful performances at weddings, such as the cake cutting with the happy smiles of the couple, the video that reflects on memories, and the touching letters from the bride.

Additionally, the 'performances' from guests are also an important part of the event. Many brides-to-be might be thinking about asking close friends to perform.

But what if a guest you hadn’t planned to ask for a performance, such as a company boss or a relative of your partner, offers to do a performance or speech?

It's Tough to Decline Requests from Difficult-to-Say-No Guests!

For example, karaoke, speeches, or piano performances. If someone says, "I really want to perform at your wedding," could you decline nicely?

Even if you think, "That doesn't fit the atmosphere of my wedding," if it’s someone from work or your partner’s family, considering future relations, you often can't just say, "No."

Online, there are stories about wedding mishaps, such as "I couldn’t refuse, and my uncle sang enka, ruining the romantic atmosphere of the wedding," or "My drunk boss’s boasting speech went on forever"…

In this article, we will introduce ways to gracefully decline requests for performances or speeches.

While being mindful of future relationships, let’s learn how to kindly and tactfully decline.

How to Decline a Performance or Speech Request ① Communicate That There’s No Time for Performances

“Due to the schedule of the reception, there is no time left for any performances or speeches” is a great excuse to decline.

You should convey that it’s not that you dislike the idea of having performances or speeches; it’s just unfortunately logistically challenging.

You could also explain that "Because there are many dishes being served, we've decided to narrow down the number of performances to ensure the reception finishes on time."

If there’s a lot of programming, it can affect when food is served, which is a valid reason to decline.

How to Decline a Performance or Speech Request ② State That You're Planning an Event Without Performances

Some brides-to-be might want a calm reception without performances.

Without performances, you can have longer conversation times, allowing the newlyweds to make table rounds slowly and have time to converse with guests.

When a request for a performance or speech is made, convey that the bride and groom have decided against performances to ensure they can talk with each guest.

How to Decline a Performance or Speech Request ③ Tell Them Others Have Already Been Declined

Saying “There are others who have already been declined” is also a good reason.

If there are already guests who have been declined, it becomes awkward to add another guest's performance later. Explaining this should lead to understanding.

Politely Decline and Maintain Good Relationships After the Wedding

We’ve covered how to diplomatically decline requests for performances or speeches from difficult-to-say-no guests.

If it’s a relative of your partner, it’s best for them to convey your message. Additionally, ensure that your partner doesn’t say something like, "She doesn't want it," without discussing it properly as a couple, ensuring the reason is conveyed accurately.

A wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event. Before you feel like you have to accommodate a guest, think about whether there’s a graceful way to decline.

When turning down a request, always remember to convey your gratitude.