"To Avoid Being Disliked During Wedding High: A List of Phrases Brides Should Never Say to Their Friends"

2017.05.06 published

殿堂記事

The Pre-Wedding period is fun. But I don't want to be seen as being in a wedding high.

The excitement of preparing for the wedding.

The feeling of being overwhelmed with wedding preparations and losing composure.

These are probably feelings that every bride-to-be experiences during the wedding planning phase.

Let's embrace both the positive and negative emotions and enjoy the sparkling feelings that come with the once-in-a-lifetime wedding!

But what I want to be cautious about is the wedding high. Isn’t it scary to hear terms like "wedding high" or "wedding terrorism" lately!?

Because, I’m really just thinking about the wedding...

As a bride, I might just be currently thinking about the wedding, just like how I've previously been thinking about my hobbies and delicious food every second of the day.

It's a time when casually talking about the wedding can lead to remarks like, “You seem like you're in a wedding high, it’s tiring.”

When moving houses, girls tend to talk about homes and their experiences in girls' gatherings,

When getting a new boyfriend, the conversation revolves around that.

When experiencing a breakup, friends listen to the sad breakup stories.

But for some reason, when it comes to the topic of weddings, there seems to be an unspoken rule that being excited or constantly talking about it is a no-go. What is that about?

I really can’t understand. I wish friends would share all happiness and sadness together!

For now, it’s best to avoid statements that might make one seem like they're in a wedding high.

I think the terms "wedding high" and the criticism of people at the peak of happiness are really negative, but since some people feel that way, there's nothing we can do about it.

Once someone thinks, “That girl is in a wedding high,” they will probably not enjoy the wedding day with pure feelings.

So, what brides can do is to avoid actions that make them appear to be in a wedding high as much as possible.

It’s completely okay to consult with close friends about anything.

However, as Hirusu-san famously said, "It's better not to flaunt happiness," it’s important to be considerate of others, especially during happy times.

To continue having a good relationship with friends, here are some behaviors and phrases that brides should avoid as they might contribute to the perception of being in a wedding high.

While it’s important to be aware of these things, please don’t take them too heavily and let it weigh you down!

① Sorry, I can't hang out because I’m on a diet.

Even when friends invite you to lunch or dinner,

If you refuse by saying, “I have to lose x amount of kilograms to fit into my dress” or "I’m dieting for the wedding and can’t eat,” it might not be the best idea.

Your friend might want to share equally important news.

While the wedding is a personal matter, friendships are about communication among multiple people.

Avoid saying things like, “I can’t hang out! Let’s go out after the wedding!” for several months leading up to the wedding as much as possible.

② It’s going to rain on the wedding day. The worst!!!

For the bride, whether the weather will be good on the wedding day or the pre-shoot day is a huge issue.

It’s normal to check weather forecasts and worry about them for weeks.

However, it might be worth considering how to express your fears about rain or your happiness about sunny forecasts to those around you.

How do you think a friend who is invited as a guest would react if you say, “It’s supposed to rain on the wedding day! The worst!!!” directly?

In a kind interpretation, they might think, “It’s a shame, it’s supposed to be such a special day!” but,

An unkind interpretation could be, “I wouldn’t want to dress up and go to someone’s wedding on a rainy day! I’d prefer to stay home!”

If the weather doesn’t seem great on the day, here’s a better way to talk to your friends:

“It might rain on my wedding day. I’m sorry that you’ll be dressed up and have to deal with bad weather.”

It's about caring for others rather than just yourself.

People who love the rain or enjoy rainy weather are not that common.

Moreover, the bride can go to the wedding venue in everyday clothes and prepare everything under the roof, while guests have to dress up, fix their hair, take public transport, and walk in the rain with an umbrella to get to the venue.

Thinking rain is the worst is mutual. So try not to impose your feelings on others, but instead, remember to care for them.

Whether you can sincerely say, “Thank you for coming despite the bad weather,” reflects the quality of a person!

③ Sharing happiness~~ ♡

The phrase, “Sharing happiness~~" should not be used by the happy person themselves.

It’s something participants who have felt the happy aura of the wedding say naturally, like, "I feel like I got a share of your happiness!”

It’s better to refrain from saying, “This is a share of my happiness♡" since that can come off as imposing.

After all, happiness isn’t only for oneself; everyone around can be happy too.

④ Looking forward to it!! ♡

Similarly to "sharing happiness," this is not a phrase to be said by oneself.

It’s meaningful only when a guest says, “I’m looking forward to your wedding, xx-chan~~♡".

While it’s a honest feeling to want others to look forward to your wedding, if you express it directly, it might not be the best.

It may be due to the overwhelming promotion of holding weddings through monetary contributions that creates a sense of discomfort for guests, such as “We’re coming on our precious day off, spending on clothes and hair, and basically, we are contributing to this wedding, and yet, telling us to ‘look forward to it’ feels odd.”

It’s sad, but perceptions of words vary with each person.

It might be better to express gratitude with "Thank you so much for coming!" instead of "Looking forward to it!!"

⑤ Next is xx's turn! ♡

The phrase “Next is xx-chan’s turn!” can work well when you’re in your early twenties.

However, during the sensitive transitional period in the thirties, where the keyword is marriage and life stage changes between single and married, it can sometimes be considered a form of verbal violence and should be avoided.

In your thirties, this sentiment is similar to the dislike for bouquet tosses.

Not everyone wants to get married, and even those who do may not have met the right person yet.

Additionally, there are various scenarios such as having a loving relationship but the partner is not interested in marriage.

The phrase “Next is xx-chan’s turn!” should be reserved only for friends of brides who are confirmed to get married.

The most important mindset is recognizing the premise that "happiness is not exclusive to me; everyone is happy" and "my happiness and others' happiness are different—don't impose it on others."

It’s not good to worry too much, but there are things you should know.

The above five phrases are ones that any bride-to-be might casually say, but depending on how they’re perceived,

people might think, “Isn't that wedding high?”

Being overly concerned about how others perceive you can lead to you not enjoying your daily life, which is not the purpose.

However, the most crucial aspect is to not forget to show consideration and gratitude to those around you.

While fully enjoying this once-in-a-lifetime period as a bride-to-be, don’t expect excessive reactions from others,

Treat “the wedding” as one of many life events, and lead fulfilling daily lives! ♡