I Asked My Husband What He Thinks Are the Benefits of Marriage! What Are the Real Advantages of Tying the Knot?

2018.03.22 published

[It's Not Just a Matter of Profit and Loss] What are the Advantages of Marriage?

Nowadays, the trend of late marriage is increasing, and the lifelong unmarried rate is also rising.

"There are no benefits to marriage"

"It's just a matter of mutual responsibility"

"That system is a negative legacy"

"The institution of marriage doesn't fit with modern times"

Among others, it seems that the disadvantages or negative news and columns about "marriage" are becoming more prominent. What about you and those around you?

In contrast to this societal trend, all members of marry are married, mostly newlyweds in their first year of marriage.

Moreover, none of the members seem to be troubled by the negative factors of marriage that are often spoken about in society; they seem to enjoy their daily lives with their husbands.

Is the Timing of Marriage = When Men Want to Marry?

I think this kind of environment is quite rare... but fundamentally,

whether to marry or not often depends not on women's opinions or assertions but is typically decided by men.

No matter how much a woman wants to get married, if the man is not interested, he won't propose, introduce her to his parents, or, of course, proceed with the marriage registration.

I believe marriage is something two people should decide together, but

there is still a male-dominant approach where many women wish to be led by men and dream of a romantic proposal; hence, many women find themselves in a "waiting for a proposal" situation.

@nagisa_marry

Do Men Take a Long Time to Decide on Marriage?

While women are waiting for a proposal, what are men doing?

I think it boils down to "mental preparation."

Men may be planning to buy an engagement ring for a surprise during the proposal, meticulously saving money.

However, such cases are really rare, and most men tend to:

☑ "I'll propose after a promotion..."

☑ "Once I've saved enough money..."

☑ "After dating a bit longer..."

Generally, men take time to make a vague decision without a definite timeline, often delaying their resolution to get married.

There are men who strongly desire marriage, romanticizing the idea of creating a family. These types tend to get married at a young age.

I feel like there's roughly an even split between negative and positive feelings towards marriage among men.

Observing the husbands of marry's married members shows that this is the case.

I Asked My Husband! What Are the Good Things About Marriage?

Yet, even those who have a negative view of marriage still find some positives in being married.

Of course, those who were already positive about marriage also have many moments where they feel, "It was a good decision after all!"

In a world saturated with critical news, columns, and articles about marriage,

I asked the husbands of marry members who chose the option of marriage,

"What are the good things about being married?" Here are the summarized responses.

@nagisa_marry

Good Thing About Marriage 1: Housework Can Be Shared

This is the opinion of a man who lived alone without cohabiting before marriage.

Living together means you can split chores like cleaning, laundry, and dishwashing, which is great.

Especially considering that many men leave all household chores to their wives whether they are stay-at-home or working,

it’s heartwarming to hear one say, “I can now share housework after marriage.” What a cooperative and kind husband!

Good Thing About Marriage 2: You Can Just Hang Out Together

"After getting married, even on days when we have no plans, we can just laze around the house together from the moment we wake up, and that makes me happy," said another husband.

This was the opinion of a couple who started living together for the first time after marrying.

Indeed, if you weren't living together, especially without plans to go out, you’d have to wash up and change clothes after waking up, then move to one another’s place.

However, after getting married and living together, you can be together all the time from the moment you wake up.

It feels like a constant "home date" without having to prepare, which is delightful! ♡

Good Thing About Marriage 3: It’s Fun to Be Together

Personally, I think the happiness of "being fun together" feels the same whether you're married or not,

but every husband chimes in with this sentiment.

Being able to marry someone you enjoy being with is truly fortunate, and knowing your spouse thinks, "It's fun to be with you every day" is an unparalleled joy.

Good Thing About Marriage 4: Saving Money

One husband, who found himself bad at managing money, said, "It’s really helpful that my wife manages our finances!"

He mentioned that when he's in charge, he tends to spend all the money he has, but with his wife managing it, he can save and feels secure.

When you're single, all the money you earn is yours, but once married, it becomes shared property.

This husband seemed to be the type who would spend all his money if it were solely his. However, after marriage, he started saving because his wife took over the management, expressing gratitude for marrying young.

He believes it’s better to save from a younger age rather than starting saving at thirty after living single with no savings.

“I’m thankful for my wife's management, and I really feel I was lucky to marry early.” What a good husband!

Good Thing About Marriage 5: Our Families Are Happy

Many husbands positively noted "both families are happy" as one of the best things about marriage.

Our generation understands that there are many lifestyles and is aware that you can lead a happy life whether married or single.

Some even express skepticism towards the institution of marriage as being old-fashioned, but the older generation is not the same.

Parents will always be parents.

No matter how much their children grow up and leave home, they will still worry about their future.

They wish for their children to find a conventional happiness defined by society and often hope to see them marry a good person and have grandchildren soon.

For the older generation, reporting that “I am marrying the person I love and we will build a happy family” seems to lift a burden off their shoulders and brings them immense joy and reassurance.

While marriage merely marks the start of life as a couple,

the announcement of “I will be happy after marrying” or “I found my life partner” brings joy on hearing it, giving parents the fulfillment and emotional depth of raising their child, allowing them to celebrate and bless their marriage.

Many husbands also highlighted this as a significant advantage of marriage.

Good Thing About Marriage 6: No More Questions About When You're Getting Married

This perspective, looking at marriage from parental duty, reveals possibly the opposite opinion on marriage's advantages.

One husband remarked how relieved he was to no longer hear questions like,

"Isn't there a good person for you?"

"You're at the age where you should get married, aren't you?"

"Don’t you have any plans??"

He felt a sense of relief being freed from the pressure regarding marriage....! This added responsibility also extends to stress from friends and society.

It's amazing to realize that even men face such burdens!

Good Thing About Marriage 7: I Can Decline Invites I Don’t Want to Attend

"I can use my wife as an excuse to turn down invitations to drinking parties," said one husband.

This was quite an unexpected comment.

Although this husband doesn't like alcohol, he often gets pressured to drink a lot, resulting in feelings of illness afterwards, so he occasionally encounters invites to parties he dislikes.

As an excuse for declining the invitation, he can say, "My wife is...!(she wants me to come home early)" or "My wife is...!(she said not to go out drinking this month)."

This ability to attribute responsibility to someone else (his wife) makes it quite convenient for him to decline invitations.

His wife might not appreciate being used as an excuse (which sounds like he fears her a bit), but he still regarded this as one of the good things about being married.

Indeed, if he were just dating or had another casual relationship, other friends might not accept this excuse.

Good Thing About Marriage 8: Living in a Bigger Home

Another husband pointed out that living in a bigger house is a benefit of marriage.

Rent is incredibly high. It might be the largest single expense in monthly spending.

Furthermore, just because you live alone doesn't mean you can save a significant amount of money; in Tokyo, even a 1K or 1R apartment costs at least ¥70,000 to ¥80,000.

If two people live separately, they each incur rent in that amount (¥70,000-¥80,000).

However, when renting a house to live together, the cost is much less than renting two separate apartments.

A 1LDK apartment often starts around ¥100,000, so merely adding to the budget of living alone allows you to move into a better, larger house and save money at the same time, which appears to be another good thing about marriage.

Moreover, some companies offer additional housing support or benefits for married employees, further providing economic benefits.

Good Thing About Marriage 9: Visits to In-Laws' Homes

Marriage connects two separate families.

After marriage, interactions with both families increase, especially during occasions like New Year’s or summer holidays, more than during dating.

One husband remarked that being able to visit places where his spouse’s family resides, which he hadn’t often visited before, is a major advantage of marriage.

Indeed, getting to know a previously unfamiliar place and returning to your spouse's home is a delightful experience!

Good Thing About Marriage 10: Being Able to Say, "We Are a Couple"

When dating, you refer to each other as your boyfriend or girlfriend, but after marriage, you become a couple, so one husband noted that he found it valuable to be able to introduce his partner as "my wife."

When speaking to others, saying "my wife (or my family)" instead of "my girlfriend" feels more official and brings a sense of security about the relationship.

No woman dislikes being introduced as "my wife."

Hearing that from someone you love can be an incredibly happy experience for a woman. ***

These Are the Benefits of Marriage According to the Husbands of marry Members!

We’ve summarized ten responses from the husbands of married members of marry regarding the question, "What are the good things about being married?"

Upon reviewing the responses, it's notable that about half of the happiness and benefits mentioned could be felt regardless of being married or not.

None of the husbands highlighted the legal repercussions related to infidelity or shared property as benefits of marriage, typically seen in negative perceptions of marriage.

Instead, they simply feel "happy to become partners with someone they love and enjoy their daily lives," seemingly leading to a cheerful married life.

The commercial for Zexy, where the phrase "In this era where you can be happy without getting married, I still want to marry you," made waves.

However, it tends to be men who more often experience disadvantages from marriage or believe that they might be happier without it.

It’s surprisingly comforting to realize that many men who previously thought, “Being single may be better!" continue to marry and actually think, "I’m glad I’m married!"

Being with someone you love is a wonderful thing whether you’re married or not; however,

it's genuinely fulfilling to affirm your choice with "I’m glad I’m married!!!"

Wives whose husbands feel that way likely find even greater happiness together. ♩

If both partners feel the same happiness and are committed to living together,

unless there’s a colossal reason or ideology against it, I believe it’s preferable to not say, “I don’t want to marry!” or “Marriage is meaningless!” instead, to think together, “I’m glad we got married♡.”

So, why not ask your husband, "What are the good things about being married? Do you have any?" ♩