Should You Offer Money or Gifts? How to Show Gratitude to the Organizers of a Second Party?

How to Thank the Organizer of the After Party?

After the wedding reception, who should the bride ask to be the after-party organizer?

While more people are turning to professional organizer companies for help with the after-party, many still choose to rely on friends.

If you've experienced it, you know that being the after-party organizer comes with a lot of responsibilities.

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☑ Creating a list of participants and invitations

☑ Managing attendance

☑ Setting the budget and choosing a venue

☑ Deciding the program and flow

☑ Preparing games and purchasing prizes

☑ Preparing change for fees collected

☑ Hosting and running the event on the day

☑ Audio and entertainment

And much more; there are so many tasks to handle.

However, since the relationship is close enough to ask someone to take on the role of the organizer, it's often true that they are happy to help.

They will likely strive to make "XX's wedding day the best it can be!"

That kindness is indeed a great support. While it's good to rely on others, polite etiquette should always be observed.

When you’ve entrusted someone with the significant responsibility of organizing, you should certainly prepare a proper expression of gratitude!

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Is it unacceptable to not thank the organizer?

A frequent concern among prospective brides is, "Is it okay if I don't prepare a special thank you for the after-party organizer?"

Occasionally, friends also ask similar questions, but I strongly recommend against that!

The thought of "Is it fine to not thank the organizer at all?" is quite dangerous.

You should definitely express your gratitude in some form.

After all, the role of the organizer is genuinely demanding.

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Many people may wonder, "Isn't it enough to just convey my feelings of gratitude?" However, as adults, we must observe decorum even among friends.

Thanks should be communicated not only emotionally but materially as well.

I have seen many instances through various weddings where someone who willingly took on the role of an organizer was left feeling overlooked and upset due to a lack of acknowledgment or thank-yous afterwards!

Even if they initially say, "Oh, don't worry about thanking me!" once they get into the role, they often find it surprisingly challenging, and simply being told "thank you" does not reflect the time and effort they invested.

Therefore, here’s what you should prepare as a thank you for your friend who helped as the organizer.

Thanking the Friend Who Organized

① Cash or gift vouchers worth between 5,000 to 10,000 yen

② Waiving their participation fee

I believe these two are absolutely essential!!!

① About cash or gift vouchers

Of course, any physical gift would be fine, but the most appreciated is usually cash or a gift voucher.

Various surveys show that "cash is the most appreciated form of thanks," so you shouldn't worry about whether it’s appropriate to give money to a close friend.

If you're really uncomfortable giving cash, gift coupons or restaurant vouchers might work instead.

Physical gifts can become cumbersome or take up space in someone’s home, and it’s often difficult to find something that perfectly matches their taste, even if you are very close.

② Waiving the organizer's fee

Waiving the fee for the after-party organizer is a must.

Organizers don't have time to enjoy drinks or meals or to talk freely with friends.

They work hard, overseeing and preparing for the event, and it's simply unfair to charge them a fee for it.

I've heard complaints many times like, "I was the organizer, yet I had to pay a fee without any thank you!"

For the sake of future friendships, it is definitely better to waive the organizer's fee.

Informing them at the registration desk on the day of the event that "the organizers are free" is a good approach, but the best method is to communicate early on (right after you ask) that

"Fees? Of course, we won’t charge you!"

If you aren’t charging them, clarifying this as soon as possible helps prevent any lingering confusion for the organizer.

Is hosting a thank-you dinner later sufficient as a gesture of thanks?

There’s a common practice of inviting the organizer and other helpers to your home or a restaurant for a meal later as a way to say "thank you."

While this happens frequently, coordinating everyone’s schedules can be challenging and may require additional time from them, so it's better to keep the thank you separate from any future gatherings (parties or outings).

Only when both sides have such a relationship is it really okay to not express thanks!

The only scenario where you might consider not expressing thanks is if:

“We always freely take turns organizing for each other (within the group).”

In those cases, following the usual customs among friends is the best approach.

There's no need to follow others' "common sense" or "what’s normal" or "what would be better to do" advice.

Show appreciation to those who have worked hard for you!

When you delegate the after-party to your friends, they will surely put in a lot of effort to make the time special.

To show your gratitude for their hard work, a proper expression of thanks is crucial.

No matter how close you are, conveying your appreciation is absolutely necessary as adults.

The bride and groom might compare their own wedding preparation challenges and think the after-party organizer's job isn’t that significant...

You might think, "Since they volunteered to help, I don’t need to go overboard with thanks."

Or you might believe, "The after-party went a bit downhill, so I guess they don’t need too much thanks."

But that's not the case!

You should definitely reward the effort they put into this.

That’s how to behave as an adult.

Without that, people might feel "neglected," "taken for granted," or "unappreciated," which can lead to real issues.

This is something to avoid at all costs, so make sure to express your gratitude to everyone who helped with your wedding—especially to those who took on the challenging role of after-party organizer!