"What to Do in This Situation: Inviting Friends Who Can't Attend the Wedding Reception to the After Party"

2019.07.09 published

Wedding. It's natural to receive notifications of absence

A wedding where important people come to celebrate our marriage.

Ideally, all the invited guests should be able to attend the ceremony without any issues on the day, but

☑ There’s a prior engagement

☑ There’s an unavoidable work commitment

☑ It's difficult due to having small children

☑ It's difficult because of the distance

and so on. It is, of course, understandable that despite being invited, there will be guests who cannot attend the reception due to various reasons.

When I ask friends who have had weddings, on average, around 1 to 5 people they invited end up not being able to come.

Even when invites are sent 6 to 12 months in advance, and invitations are sent out 2 to 3 months beforehand, it’s very challenging to coordinate the schedules of many adults within the unpredictability of life…!

While it can be a little sad that someone invited cannot make it, everyone has their own circumstances.

Even if they couldn't attend the wedding, it doesn't mean that friendships, family relations, or work relationships will fall apart, so let's try not to think too much about it＊

@a_uink

Is it okay to invite friends who informed they can't attend the wedding to the after-party?

Unfortunately, the next question that arises when we receive notifications of absence from guests regarding the wedding ceremony and reception is whether it’s okay to invite them to the after-party.

For brides who sent the invitations for both the reception and the after-party together, there are separate RSVPs for participation or absence, so there is no problem.

However, in cases where the bride intended to send the after-party notice separately after sending the reception invitation...

Even if a guest responds that they won’t attend the reception, they might ponder, “Is the time different? Perhaps I can come to the after-party?”

But from a manners perspective, is it appropriate to invite someone who is absent from the wedding to the after-party…?

@atelierdefleurir

It's okay to invite those who will miss the reception to the after-party! But assess the reason for their absence.

Inviting guests who missed the reception to the after-party is generally okay＊

The reception and the after-party are separate events. If invitations have been sent out separately, it is absolutely fine to give the after-party invitation to those who cannot attend the reception.

However, based on the reason for missing the reception, there may be clear cases where they would also be unable to attend the after-party.

For example,

☑ Business trips far away or overseas

☑ Unable to leave home due to having small children

☑ Guests who are from far away

In these cases, if it was difficult to attend the reception, it is likely that attending the after-party would also be difficult. Sending an invitation to such individuals may be considered rude, so it’s better to refrain from doing so.

However,

☑ Prior engagements (such as a family wedding during the day)

☑ Work (expected to finish by 6:00 PM)

If someone is absent from the reception for such reasons, they may still be able to make it to the after-party later in the evening.

In such cases, it might be okay to send them an invitation to the after-party.

Still, even in that case, it would mean they have other plans until evening, and it would undoubtedly become a tight schedule for them.

It is advisable to invite them with a gentle, “I apologize for the busy schedule, but if you can make it, I’d love to have you…”

@yuki_txs

Be cautious when reaching out about after-party invitations for those who missed the reception＊

The message about the after-party for those who missed the reception should depend on the person and the reason for their absence.

Even if the reason for their absence is unknown, there might still be a chance that they could attend the after-party, so it might be okay to extend a gentle invitation.

It can feel a bit nerve-wracking to reach out to those absent from the wedding regarding the after-party. If you were in their position, it would be kind to actively share your reason for absence or say something like, “Unfortunately, I can’t make it to the reception, but if you’re having an after-party, I would love to be invited!”

@_____sayawedding_____

Everyone has their own life and circumstances. It’s only natural to receive a response indicating absence when sending invitations.

Even if you had been hoping for someone to come, try not to feel too down about it.

It can be a dilemma to invite someone who won’t attend the reception to the after-party, but as everyone has their own circumstances, it would be great if you could thoughtfully consider the other person's situation and extend an invitation!＊