Courtesy Even Among Close Friends: Essential Manners and Tips for Requesting a "Friend Speech"

2018.03.25 published

Friend speeches are moving.

Having a "friend speech" delivered by a close friend at a wedding is truly touching.

Friends with whom you have shared joyful and sad moments over the years and decades have a special bond.

You may have studied together, confided in each other about love, and at times even had quarrels, but they will always remain a cherished presence in your life ♡

The words of a friend who knows everything about you carry significant weight, creating a warm and cozy atmosphere for the guests as they witness the friendship between the bride and her friends＊

@mnts.wd0923

However, when asking for a friend speech, how should you ask and what should you convey?

Here are some manners and points to consider.

Point 1: Who to ask for the friend speech?

The first step in asking for a friend speech is to decide who to ask.

Most brides generally choose their "best friend", the one they are closest to＊

It's a great idea to ask a friend with whom you've been close since elementary or junior high school to share nostalgic stories ♩

@373momowed

Point 2: When to ask?

When asking for a friend speech, it's best to request as soon as you make the decision.

Since you will likely be asking your closest friend, you should already be sharing the news of your marriage and the wedding plans.

It’s a good idea to make the request at that time＊

Whenever possible, ask in person rather than via email or phone◎

@risawedding20170225

Point 3: How to ask?

When asking for a friend speech,

it's important to approach the request modestly and allow them an easy way to decline.

While your friend may want to celebrate and feel a desire to speak, they might be uncomfortable speaking in public or too nervous to enjoy the wedding.

So, try saying something like, "If you're comfortable, I would love for you to give a speech at the wedding, but I also want you to enjoy the day, so if you're not up for it, that's totally fine!" This allows them to decline easily＊

@sonokinu_0718

Point 4: What to convey?

Once your friend agrees to give the speech, communicate the details clearly＊

☑ Estimated speech length (about 2-5 minutes)

☑ Timing in the flow of the reception (when to speak)

☑ If there are other speakers (if applicable)

☑ Approximate number of attendees

☑ Where they will speak (at a stand microphone or from their seat)

☑ Information about being called by the staff on the day (check with the wedding venue as well)

☑ Topics to cover and any to avoid (if there are any)

Speaking can be very nerve-wracking, especially if you’re not accustomed to it. Even if they are used to speaking in a professional setting, the atmosphere and audience will be different, and it’s an important occasion for a dear friend. So, there may be many aspects they are concerned about.

There may be things your friend finds difficult to ask about, so ensure you communicate all relevant information in advance＊

@mnts.wd0923

Point 5: Don’t forget to express your gratitude!

Once you've requested a friend speech, don't forget to show your gratitude!

Many brides seem to prepare a gift worth about 3,000 to 5,000 yen◎

The timing for giving this gift often happens during the wedding send-off or at a later date.

Make sure to express your gratitude to your friend who put a lot of thought into their speech ♩

Additionally, some brides have even included a "Thank you" plaque with dessert, expressing their appreciation＊

@natsumi__wedding_

“Touching” Let's ask for a friend speech＊

I shared some manners and points on how to request a "friend speech" at a wedding＊

Even with friends you have known for years, it can be hard to express your gratitude in everyday life.

By having them give a friend speech, let them know your heartfelt thanks along with your appreciation for their speech ♩

@mipi.prebride