"Effective Role Delegation: A List of Tasks to Ask Your Partner for Wedding Preparation"

2018.02.14 published

Wedding preparation: How should we divide the roles?

Wedding preparations involve a lot of tasks. To effectively and intelligently progress in the preparations, the cooperation of both the bride and groom is essential.

However, it is not always possible for both of them to prepare everything together. Many grooms might be busy with work or not particularly enthusiastic about the wedding.

We often hear stories like, "He isn't helping at all," or "I'm exhausted from preparing everything alone."

Here are the things you should ask him to do!

You want your groom to help with the wedding preparations! But you're not quite sure what to ask him to do...

In such cases, we recommend the [List of Things to Ask Him] provided here.*

We have compiled items based on the experiences of fellow brides, specifically those that they said, "I definitely asked him to do this!"

If you ask in advance, "Can you take care of this when you have time?" it can alleviate the bride's frustration of feeling like she has all the tasks and the groom's dissatisfaction of not knowing what to do.

@mai_wedding0312

By visualizing each other's TO DOs from the beginning, you can reduce anxiety and stress as well, right? ♩

Let's take a look at the [List of Things to Ask Him] right away.

Things I asked him to do during wedding preparations ① Create the guest list for the groom

The first thing you should instruct him to do is "Create the guest list."

Ensure he compiles:

☑ Names (with furigana)

☑ Addresses (including postal codes)

☑ Titles

By creating the title column from the start, it will be useful not only for addressing the invitations but also for creating the seating chart.

If all your friends quickly respond with, "Just tell me!" it’s great, but there will likely be many who forget to reply. Make sure to have him reach out to friends with ample time to spare.*

Things I asked him to do during wedding preparations ② Envelope stuffing for the invitations

Sending out invitations typically happens about three months before the wedding. This is when serious preparations begin, and you're busy with dress and accessory selection as well as DIY projects.*

If it seems he has some spare time during this phase, ask him to help with the envelope stuffing for the invitations.

Folding the base paper, placing the maps and notes in the envelopes, and sealing them… it's a simple task, but repeating the same process for each guest can be quite challenging. It can take several hours!*

That's why it would be a huge help if he handled it. There’s little chance of failure since he’ll just be folding paper and sticking on labels. Many brides have said, "He took care of the invitation envelopes!"

@sakiderella_ftw

Things I asked him to do during wedding preparations ③ Making the video

If he's good with computers, ask him to help with making a video. ♩ In reality, many grooms prefer to handle video creation rather than helping with various little DIY items.

From choosing software, editing, to exporting to DVD, creating a video is one of the more challenging tasks in wedding preparations. Consider his availability and the timeline until the wedding when asking him.*

Things I asked him to do during wedding preparations ④ Large DIY projects

For DIY projects that involve cutting wood or using nails, it's common for the groom to take charge.

Make sure to communicate your specific requests such as, "I’d like you to make something like this!"♡ It’s a rule of thumb not to complain about the items he makes.*

This stylish photo panel was made by the groom ♩ and it received great feedback from guests on the day.

@t_a.wedding402

Things I asked him to do during wedding preparations ⑤ Searching for the groom's outfit

One unexpected source of disagreement can be searching for the groom’s outfit. Unlike brides who visit multiple dress salons to find the perfect gown, many grooms think, "I just need to choose from what’s available at the first shop."

Still, it's the bride's wish to have the groom rent a stylish tuxedo as inexpensively as possible.

Inform him that waiting until the last minute can limit options and that prices can vary significantly by salon, and encourage him to start looking early. ◎

@1224.a.wd

Things I asked him to do during wedding preparations ⑥ Listing potential BGM tracks

The BGM that needs to be decided for the wedding reception is said to be about 20-30 songs.

Picking out favorites from scratch to create a list is quite a challenging task.

If you share similar musical tastes or if he understands your preferences, it’s a great idea to have him list potential BGM tracks in advance. ♩

It would be efficient to choose songs together from the list he provides.

It would also be a great help if he could take care of purchasing the original tracks.

Things I asked him to do during wedding preparations ⑦ Groom's speech and thanks

The groom's speech and thanks during the reception are important moments. While you have to trust him to handle this, sometimes it can lead to arguments when it gets close to the date, and you find yourself frustrated, asking, "Why is it still not decided!?"

Communicating ahead of time, such as "Let's do a rehearsal a few days before," can help keep him motivated.

He likely wants to succeed with the speech too, so it’s essential to support him so he can think calmly and comfortably. ♡

Things I asked him to do during wedding preparations ⑧ Preparation for the after-party

Some brides, feeling overwhelmed with the ceremony and reception preparations, delegate the after-party to their groom.

The preparation for an after-party includes coordinating with the host and venue staff, arranging transportation buses, confirming guests' attendance, and lots of little tasks.

If the bride leads the preparations for the reception, then it's advisable for the groom to take over as the main point of contact for the after-party.

@keiko_marry

Things I asked him to do during wedding preparations ⑨ Packing and transporting tasks

Finally, another task to assign to him is packing and transporting right before the event. Many couples transport numerous items from their home to the venue via their own or rental cars.

Right before the wedding, there are plenty of beauty-related tasks, such as shaving, nails, and eyelash extensions piling up. If he can handle packing boxes, sealing with tape, and loading them into the car, it will help you avoid sleep deprivation.

I want to enjoy preparing for the wedding together!

I’ve introduced a list of tasks for the groom to handle. Even if it’s not everything, it’s a good idea to list at least a few essential tasks you want him to take care of in advance.*

If the wedding preparations lead to many arguments, the joyful period of being a bride-to-be can turn into something stressful. Understanding each other’s roles and progressing steadily and systematically is important. ♩

@1224.a.wd